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the torture is starting...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by greyballon, Jul 28, 2014.

  1. Jul 28, 2014 #1
    greyballon

    greyballon Fapstronaut

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    Hi at all,

    I'm 32 years old German and i'm convinced that i'm PMO addicted. First of all - sorry for my sometimes error-prone english - i'm better in reading than writing. So i've read here is so impressive and motivating posts - thanks for all that in advance!
    I'm a computer scientist and i had access to porn stuff since my youth. So i get addicted to PMO and is getting worse driven by the mobile internet and smortphone stuff. PMO ruled my life the last 17 years and I often don't realize it at all!
    I've a girlfriend for nearly nine years and love her to death. But for a very long time I got that i am not able to make love with her without porn-fantasies and i know she feel this false atitude, she feels that I just see her booty and not her as a beautiful woman - that hurts so much and I have stop it now! I need a normal, natural life!
    The most humiliating moment with my girl happend when it comes to intercourse and she was so horny but can't get an erection because I PMO'ed right before that - disgusting - I realy felt distgustingly for the first time.
    From that point on I tried to avoid P for some days/weeks and also M and O but I always fell back in the old disgusting pattern!
    But your stories are so much motivating and I realized that I also have to abstain edging - that was my loophole at every attempt and it was always the beginning of relapse.
    So here are my first goals:

    1) No P for 10 days (hopefully for ever)
    2) No M for 7 days
    3) No edging for 3 days

    I'll do my level best.

    Thanks for that community!
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2014
    greyballon, Jul 28, 2014
    greyballon, Jul 28, 2014
    #1
  2. Jul 28, 2014 #2
    ichigo

    ichigo Fapstronaut

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    Hey,
    I'm a fellow German who also just signed up here to beat his porn addiction, and I'm already convinced, that it was the best decision I've made this year so far. There are lots of positive vibes coming through this site, just reading various journals and success-stories is encouraging. Remember, that after you've beaten your personal goal, you should immediately set another, maybe a bit higher than your previous one. But don't forget to be proud of yourself for each obstacle you've overcome. Finding your way here was the first step. Together we can beat this!
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2014
    ichigo, Jul 28, 2014
    ichigo, Jul 28, 2014
    #2
  3. Jul 28, 2014 #3
    EternalWaves

    EternalWaves Guest

    It will be much easier if you don't talk of a "torture" !

    In fact, you will have sober periods if you are in a relaxed and peaceful attitude.

    When some urge is coming up, then relax. Lie down and just let your thoughts pass by.
    After around 10 Minutes, your head will be clear and you will feel very good.
     
    EternalWaves, Jul 28, 2014
    EternalWaves, Jul 28, 2014
    #3
  4. Jul 28, 2014 #4
    DBug

    DBug Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys!
    I'm austrian and I just registered an hour ago and your thread is the first I saw.
    Just wanted to wish you all the best!
    And I agree: Together we can do this!
     
    DBug, Jul 28, 2014
    DBug, Jul 28, 2014
    #4
  5. Jul 28, 2014 #5
    Harrison

    Harrison Fapstronaut

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    Hi greyballon,
    I am from Germany as well.

    What helps me, is not concentrating on how to pass my day without PMOing but instead on concentrating on my life and thing that need to be done.
    It is not only more productive, but calms down my brain and actually LET me focus on those things.

    Whenever a sexual thought comes up, I try to put it aside mentally, so it is out of focus or I transform it into sth nonsexual.

    It worked so far.

    Take care.
     
    Harrison, Jul 28, 2014
    Harrison, Jul 28, 2014
    #5
  6. Jul 28, 2014 #6
    EternalWaves

    EternalWaves Guest

    Yes, I can only sign this from my own experience ! And this "put it aside" works very good, when you are doing it calmly. Instead of "clenching teeth", just relax, and let it pass by with a peaceful attitude.

    The most fulfilling periods of my life have always been:
    - when I had a real PEACEFUL ATTITUDE towards myself and the world,
    - when I had a CLEAR VISION of the things I wanted, and
    - when I JUST DID the things I wanted.
     
    EternalWaves, Jul 28, 2014
    EternalWaves, Jul 28, 2014
    #6
  7. Jul 28, 2014 #7
    TheLearner2008

    TheLearner2008 Fapstronaut

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    Heart breaking story. Wishing you all the best
     
    TheLearner2008, Jul 28, 2014
    TheLearner2008, Jul 28, 2014
    #7
  8. Jul 28, 2014 #8
    greyballon

    greyballon Fapstronaut

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    Hey!
    Thanks all of you for your response and sharing your thoughts. That encourage me absolutely and I hope it give me the power to overcome the next hours at night.
    No edging is realy harder than ever expected. But it's giving me a reality check and I see how often I have to force myself to control my extremity and do normal things - just nothing.
    I understand that isn't a good idea to start with a negative spirit when I call that a torture from the beginning.
    Tomorrow I'll start a journal and also follow your stories.
    The first night is started. My gf is already sleeping.

    So be brave!
     
    greyballon, Jul 28, 2014
    greyballon, Jul 28, 2014
    #8

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