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The Sad Reality of the NoFap Community. Please Read.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by CTRL + DEL, Aug 4, 2018.

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  1. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    This is a long post, but the total reading time for the basic message is less than 2 minutes. Please look at the state of our community.

    Premise

    Today, I conducted an experiment on our nofap community. I asked one of my close female friends who is good looking for a picture to be used as a profile on nofap. And once the account was made, all i did was sit and wait. A total of one (1) post was made my myself using the account on the Accountability Partner section so that it would appear in the newsfeed of the forum.

    Reaction
    The account recieved over 40 alerts, 2 followers and 6 conversations within the span of 1 hour and 12 minutes.
    NOTE THAT ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER POSTS WERE MADE.
    All 6 responders were male. Their intentions are listed as follows:
    •two genuinely replied seeking AP's.
    •two replied with warnings and complaints about talking to other members of the community.
    •two replied with the intention to initiate sexting.

    Enough formalities. Also know that the account is now deleted and that i have kept screenshots of the chats if a moderator would so desire. No impersonation was performed. The girl knew what her pic was being used for.

    For those itching to scream tl;dr you know all you need to.

    There is so so much i can say on this guys, but heaven knows i'm extremely shaken by this news.
    I know 6 people is a very small sample size, but also know that these results were seen within only 72 minutes. WHAT IF I KEPT AT IT? I honestly couldn't bring myself to.

    But i'll get right to the point.

    This is why there are so many relapses on this website. Sure, we all slip up from time to time, but WHY DO WE? We swear to uphold our sanctity with each new streak, but after some time that motivation just dwindles to nothing, doesn't it? Why?
    Because the lusty mindset has been ingrained within our minds. And i just saw really unfortunate proof of that play out today. SERIOUSLY?! YOU WANT TO SEXT ON NOFAP? I'm not angry at you, my dear nofap society, i'm just disappointed. And sadly, we are all to blame for this. All of us. Please don't use the excuse that just 2 people out of 6 did it. THEY REPRESENT US. ALL OF US. WE ARE THE NOFAP COMMUNITY. I really can't bring myself to phrase this out properly because right now, i'm just so caught off guard by what i saw that it honestly makes me want to cry. This 18 year old guy is in tears. What we need is more motivation. Please. This is a very small wake up call. Don't let a select few people shine on our community. I IMPLORE YOU ALL TO POST ENCOURAGING THINGS, TERRIBLE ENGLISH OR NOT. We need an omnipresent motivation to be here. We need light to beat this darkness engulfing us. LET THERE BE NOT A SINGLE SHARD OF LUST ON THIS SITE. There are still so many of us secretly stuck as pawns to the addiction. Let us just do our best to beat it. That is all i ask my fellow brothers and sisters.

    Another thing to note:

    Is this how the females of the nofap community are welcomed behind the scenes? Although I cannot put the blame on everyone for this, what i can do is simply raise awareness. Just have respect. That's all i can say. Most of them are SO's anyway...

    And lastly and possibly the most important:
    let us please have faith and love for each other. I get that some people just go around looking for trouble. That's unavoidable in forums. But you know what is avoidable (most of the time)? Trouble, itself. Just don't reply to people who trigger you. If it is a debate, by all means engage them! But the amount of cursing and namecalling i see sometimes is just awful, in light of the fact that anger is a huge trigger for PMO. This just stems from the "warnings" the account recieved on other members.


    In the end, i am not a moderator. And i am certainly not a popular member like many others on this site. But i do care about you people. A whole lot. And that's why i made this post. Because behind the veil of motivation and joy, there seems to be a nest of lust and indecency.

    Let's just make this a better community. Not feature-wise. But quality-wise. Love and be loved. That is the solution to all 3 problems.

    Thank you to all who have read.
    Nofap is truly a haven on the internet and i will not see it burn to ashes.


     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2018
  2. This is really sad. What this tells me is how extremely hard wired this addiction can be. How irrational one can become. How hypocritical one can act. I’m no saint and I’m not judging, just observing. I have done similar things in the past when I said I was ready to “quit”. This is a sad reality about addiction and life in general. Will we ever get over this hump? Some of us will, but as a whole I think unfortunately not. What we can do is take it as a lesson to be better. To sharpen the mind and snap out of it. Things like this need to exist for those who want to get better, for if you were the only one how would you know how to stop. Everyone should take time to reflect on themselves and realize how we are all or have been guilty of something of this nature. The nature of what we are trying to defeat. Don’t shame anyone who truly knows they have a problem but lack self control. Uplift and help each other. Admit your flaws so you can work on them. None of us are perfect, we all just want a better life.
    Thanks for this post
     
  3. What's the point of your experiment though?
    People here are porn addicts, so it's not a surprise if two of them try sexting even here. If a female encounters such an experience, she should just report them to the mods and they will take actions. The rest of the reactions to the post are very normal according to the rules of the website.
     
  4. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    You seem to miss the point of a nofap community.
     
    Ὀρφεύς and FX-05 like this.
  5. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    This really doesnt surprise me, as I seem to see similarly toxic behaviour almost every time I go into the forums. In particular I'm really Goddamn tired of seeing variations of the same homophobic and sexist posts that get projectile vomited into threads, oftentimes where they arent even relevant to the discussion at hand or to the question the OP asked. I'm not against polite discussion, even if the topic is inflammatory, but some guys on here take it so far that it almost reaches parody levels.

    I'm a 21 year old kiss-less virgin crippled by existential loneliness, and even I am weirded out by the sheer amount of creepy incel-esque posts that get put on the site. Sometimes it makes me think I'm on the wrong forum and have accidentally stumbled into the incels subreddit.
     
  6. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    Believe me, that's another issue altogether. I agree nonetheless
     
  7. winterjay

    winterjay Fapstronaut

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    That's to be expected. I don't see anything "sad" nor surprising about it. A lot of other people are very honest about their commitment.
     
  8. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    A very good post.....but brother you have described the society in general
    Nofap is just an extension of the society
    I can understand your feelings.....but instead of getting sad..... focus on yourself......be a little selfish ......I mean it's an alone journey.........and lastly this is one of my favorite quotes now......"be the change you want to see in others"
    And now I am messaging you
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2018
  9. It’s to be expected, but if it comes from someone who is really struggling is where it’s kind of sad.

    We’ve all had low points and I find it pretty low being on a forum for porn addiction to message someone about sexting.
    That in itself is sad.

    All of these things are not surprising, just seeing them first hand is kind of telling.

    We know that snakes are always in the grass but seeing them come out is nevertheless more ugly.

    There is bigger issues that can be seen with this community but to frame this as “no big deal” is kinda just accepting wrongness.
    It’s out of our control but calling it out is always a good thing IMO.
     
    CTRL + DEL and u376 like this.
  10. Well, unfortunately I also don't see what you are leading to! I read it thrice and I agree with @Kurapika95 in that I can't see what you wanna state!
     
    flor3334 likes this.
  11. I think this will end up being a controversial thread with opposing views. Some of which would include “why would you do this just to find out what you already knew”
    “They’re porn addicts what do you expect”

    or from others who take a more compassionate approach like myself

    or ones with a more strict opinion

    “There’s no excuse”
    “They shouldn’t be on here”
    “They’re parasites like the incels”

    What we do know for sure though is 2 out of every six people will ask you to send bobs ;)
     
  12. I'm sure the intention of this thread is a positive one.
    But I really believe: Be the change you want to see.
    If you think there is really a shortage of encouragement on this site, please free some daily time to welcome the new members and report offensive posts! I think that's the only way to really make a difference.
     
  13. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    All i'm saying is that's a shameful thing for us to admit. I mean, this is an addiction forum where everyone has admitted their self betrayal. So to ask for sexual messages on nofap itself is blatant hypocrisy. That's all i'm pointing out.
     
  14. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    The rules of the AP section clearly state "males shouldn't message females looking for AP's." It's the second pinned post there. These men jumped the gun and went straight to the inbox. Don't you find that a bit.... "wow"?
     
  15. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    now i am going to do this a lot..........because i have encountered may triggering things here without any spoilers
    .....its not in my personality to report something ........but for others i will do it
     
  16. Well i also notice the same thing bro.When a female user looking for an AP thread many male user do reply in the thread for being an AP.Sometimes its really bad....
     
  17. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    @winterjay
    @Kurapika95
    Let's do a simple test and see whose ideology is the most practical. Let's see who reaches 100 days first. This thread is all about the mindset of out community after all.

    I'll be waiting at the 100 mark.
    Please expect that as well.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. The sample sizes are not that big, but I think you have made excellent observations. I have noticed kind of variants of the same theme. Not really about harassment, but inability to give up the lusty mindset, as you said.
     
    u376 and CTRL + DEL like this.
  19. I don't like heated discussions and long debates so I will just say my two cents in this post and won't continue after that. First of all, please don't take this personally as I don't intend to attack you at all.

    Testing if other people are saints or not is always a very bad thing to do especially in their weak point. In any community, even in those you respect a lot: be they your religious leaders or scientists or whatever, there are always bad people whether you like it or not. Testing the sexual integrity of people with porn/sexual addiction is an extremely strange experiment to conduct. Addiction is widely considered to be a disease in the addiction community by the way.
    Also from a pure ethical point of view like the one you are arguing with here, what you have done is very unethical as taking the permission of another person doesn't make impersonating them ethical; you are still deceiving other members of this community who read your post and thought you are a woman. The rules of the AP section state that "males shouldn't message females to be APs IF the female doesn't want to" so please read carefully. If you stated that in your post, then simply just remind these males politely of the rules then report them if they don't stop. You are also breaking this rule by the way because you are intending to be a female while you are a male, females can message you looking for a female AP while you are actually a male.

    Last, I think that I know the point of this forum quite well since Alexander told me that I was about to become a moderator before I deleted my first account three and half years ago. I also decline your challenge as I am doing this for myself not for the sake of challenges. I reached 4 months of abstinence before btw.
     
  20. Agreed.
    Porn and nofap is a very personal and serious thing.
    @IAmLegion the fact that you want to challenge people to reach 100 days shows something about yourself.
    Why not show others your 100 day streak while giving them some love and encouragement yourself?
    Practice what you preache please.
     
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