The Race to 90 - To the victor goes the title

Sounds like good advice I could also take! @rick2k11, certain ASMR has been a trigger for me too. On one hand it's better than the filth that is porn, but I've stopped using 'women speaking ASMR' to relax as it associating 'arousal' with 'relaxation' in my mind which I don't think is remotely helpful on a reboot! Keep up the great work

 

I've nearly made it a week - so far on hard mode though my primary target is just P. Work has kept me distracted but I still find the fantasies run away a bit first thing in the morning and last thing at night. This isn't going to be fixed overnight, but I will continue to avoid 'feeding' these thoughts as much as possible and the meditation is gradually starting to bear some (limited) fruit

 

thanks buddy

 

Today was ok tonight is the concern. I'm a 7 out of 10 on the stressed scale right now and i think thats why im having trouble with PMO. The more stressed i get the more i want some sort of distraction from it.

 

Andy you couldn’t be more right lol

 

That's genuinely a great idea! i'll be trying that out tonight for sure i'll probably drop by the new to nofap forum and see if i can encourage them.

 

I wrote about it in detail in my journal its a bit of a wall of text so i didn't want to put it up hear. Dealing with it is possibly the most frustrating part about it. No i could have them take away my access but i'd rather not have to tell people about my issue if i can.

 

Awesome, seeing the areas of improvement is how you clean it up and move forward.to Success

 

Andy, fantasies and thoughts are by far the most difficult thing. I know that in my past I have panicked when I had a thought that came into my mind. Then I would clench my teeth and say I was going to fight it. This has not been effective for me because it means I attached emotions to the original thought, and thus I keep bring it back up again. Where as now I have found that it is more effective if I let the thought come in and then let it go out as just a thought. This doesn’t mean I indulged in the fantasy thoughts. I just accept that they were there and then accept that they will go. I don’t know if this is useful information to you, but it has helped me.

 

Yep, Rick stress has trigger written all over it. And the stress doesn’t just magically go away. And in the past I know I used PMO as a destresser. But this habit cannot just be rooted out you must replace it with another distresser. For me I get in 35 minutes of exercise at least 4 times a week. This has allowed me to replace the PMO habit with something more constructive.

 

Day 46 of 90: Great 24hrs. I did go dancing tonight and found it enjoyable but difficult to keep my mind clear rather then clouded with those thoughts of fantasies. I must admit that it also made me feel lonely. But posting on here has leveled me out. On to the next 24hrs

 

Thanks bro, yes it is useful - it's something I've learned to, though I sometimes struggle to practice what I preach. I think you've hit the nail on the head - don't indulge or 'fight' the thought, just observe

 

Day 8, a minor set back yesterday (in my mind). Nothing to do with PMO but lost an hour to 'junk' youtube video surfing (i.e. watching rubbish with no spiritual, intellectual or other personal value). It's a similar mindset to porn surfing, in that your brain just goes on cruise control and the next thing you know it's click, click, click. And this obsessive feeling that I have to 'finish' what I started when I realise what I'm doing (another thought process I need to work on)
But overall things are good - I went to bed without the phone, and fell asleep in no time. I'm learning to avoid 'all or nothing' thinking - i.e. I don't really beat myself up on minor set backs, just take the learnings.
I saw a brilliant graphic on the recovery process and how 'non linear' it is from the Alexander Rhodes newsletter a few days ago. Hope you've seen it - let me know if not!

 

Keep going buddy. 4 days in the bag already! Do whatever is in your power to make this easier on yourself. Also celebrate short term goals - take each day at a time.

 

Day 47 of 90: A good 24hrs. Today was good. I felt pretty solid, I will admit that I am feeling a little lonely and that has always been a trigger in the past. I just need to get out and have a date this week.

 

Day 48 of 90: Good 24 hrs. Today was great. I did have some thoughts and fantasies that roamed through my mind today. I had to work to get them out so that I could move on. Well on to the next 24hrs

 

40/90

Having weiredreams. Not going away.. however during the days i have been studying so no real urges then.. but night time is wreaking havoc.. hope they go away and i can get good night sleepp...

Hope everyone else is doing well
Stay strong!
Be positive
You only live once.. do u reqlly want to waste it in front of a screen for rushes which mean nothing??