Hi, Again here I'm 30 being addicted as far as I can remember. Lost many people, opportunities in life and really important people sure to this addiction. Still here.. Trying to escape... Locked in lockscreen of my phone. I'm not happy at all with the sum of my life but at least I have some hope that ill find a solution here. I could find a better way to express myself and make things more clear but I slowly realize there are levels and levels of brainfog and I feel I'm on the deeper end... Don't have a job, dumped by my life, sleeping on the same bed and generally feel that I'm rotting slowly while being too numb to smell or realize on the full extend how miserable I am. When failure comes in the end it's always a very painful feeling... That I feel the need to hurt myself in order to stop thing about it. Not having many hopes.. I'll give it a try one more time.