The miserable side of me

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Unjustfailure, Jan 12, 2017.

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  1. Unjustfailure

    Unjustfailure Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    Again here
    I'm 30 being addicted as far as I can remember.
    Lost many people, opportunities in life and really important people sure to this addiction. Still here.. Trying to escape...
    Locked in lockscreen of my phone.
    I'm not happy at all with the sum of my life but at least I have some hope that ill find a solution here. I could find a better way to express myself and make things more clear but I slowly realize there are levels and levels of brainfog and I feel I'm on the deeper end...
    Don't have a job, dumped by my life, sleeping on the same bed and generally feel that I'm rotting slowly while being too numb to smell or realize on the full extend how miserable I am.
    When failure comes in the end it's always a very painful feeling... That I feel the need to hurt myself in order to stop thing about it.
    Not having many hopes.. I'll give it a try one more time.
     
  2. DiogoFSantos

    DiogoFSantos Fapstronaut

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    Welcome bro. We can do this. Stay clean
     
  3. Covert

    Covert Fapstronaut

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    Welcome, we are all here for the same purpose that is betterment of ourselves. Problems are different but I can feel to a certain extent what are you feeling, the good thing is that you signed up here and posted your problem you will see many are coming forward actively to support and help you to achieve your target, just post whatever you are feeling.
     
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  4. Johnfrench

    Johnfrench Fapstronaut

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    Hey,
    I'm in hard mode since 7 January, I support you dude. Sorry for my english i'm french. I did my first thread on the forum yesterday if you want to read it... I've same feelings that you. Feeling miserable when i think at all this time in front of porn, loss of friends, jobs, etc...
    So, are you in hard mode or other? Since when you're not PMO?
    Don't hesitate to correct my sentences i'm so poor in english.
    And keep on to NoFap!
    Hope you read my thread too !
    Bye.
     
  5. douggie1962

    douggie1962 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome back to the movement.

    This is YOUR recovery and you must own it. You may be familiar with other addiction recovery programs. The first 90 days of these programs require meeting everyday for the first 90 days of recovery. I suggest visiting and contributing to NoFap each of your first 90 days. Glean wisdom from the strong, encourage the new, and be wary of those who are negative and make excuses. Add the words of your struggle to those of others and help create this wonderful narrative of transformation. I have made my NoFap time a replacement for all web surfing and social media. Be wary of depending on technology like counters and web filters. Understand that the battle is between your ears more so than between your legs. Each time you are tempted to go to that foul place, you must remember the man you are working to become, and then choose to be in control. Do not allow porn to steal another second of your life.

    Invictus
    William Ernest Henley, 1849 - 1903
    Out of the night that covers me,
    Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
    I thank whatever gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul.

    In the fell clutch of circumstance
    I have not winced nor cried aloud.
    Under the bludgeonings of chance
    My head is bloody, but unbowed.

    Beyond this place of wrath and tears
    Looms but the Horror of the shade,
    And yet the menace of the years
    Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll,
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul

    Be Strong my Friend.
     
  6. Unjustfailure

    Unjustfailure Fapstronaut

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    Thank you my friend, I will!
     
    Burner1 and douggie1962 like this.
  7. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    Welcome, you are here among men and women with your same addiction. Allow our weakness to give you strength the understand you are not alone. Healing can be found.
     
  8. Unjustfailure

    Unjustfailure Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed 2 times in the morning
    Brianfog and having important things to do is a disastrous combination...
    Of coarse not sleeping and going out don't help a lot
    Day 1 again (I'm the start of the day)
     
    D . J . likes this.
  9. douggie1962

    douggie1962 Fapstronaut

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    “The formula was simple: E + F + C = M. That is, excitement plus fatigue, plus confusion equals mistakes.”
    Rutledge Etheridge, Agent of Destruction

    Be Strong My Friend
     
  10. Unjustfailure

    Unjustfailure Fapstronaut

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    Now to do some kind of research which requires critical thinking and my mind is fucked up
    I've feel it already spinning for some of the simplest tasks
     
  11. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    How about beginning with looking for a job? What have you tried?
     
  12. Unjustfailure

    Unjustfailure Fapstronaut

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    Trying to study and a million thoughts pop up to mind blurring whatever I do...
    Concetration is almost not possible..
    Reading and line and just starting at the void...
    Is there some kind of emergency "step table action" guide for immediately someone relapses in order to get back in line? So he can be focused on everyday tasks later in the day..
     
    D . J . likes this.
  13. Unjustfailure

    Unjustfailure Fapstronaut

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    After some hours I'm still on the same spot...
    It's like having a long term stroke
    And depression in to of that
    Having a deadline in front of me feels more like a dead line.
    Whereas in the past it was just everyday work
     
    D . J . likes this.
  14. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    Take a deep breath and exhale. Step away for a moment and collect your thoughts and yourself then return to your work.
     
    Burner1 likes this.
  15. DiogoFSantos

    DiogoFSantos Fapstronaut

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    Take a coffee or a tea. Eat something. Pray/Meditate
     
    Burner1 likes this.
  16. Unjustfailure

    Unjustfailure Fapstronaut

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    I've just realized how fucked up I am..
    I had an assignment where if I was sober it would be piece of cake, and i had tocancell it...
    It's impossible to focus.
    And be productive
    I feel like the space around me closes upon me and some sort of dizzyness and sickness inside my head.
    Too much of nothing suddenly prohibits me from doing something...
    And I hear some kind of buzz in my ears

    Of course the hangover and the complete lack of sleep helped the previous days but that much... ?
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2017
  17. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    Get out of your own head! Stop listening to the voices of failure coming from within. You are better than your worst failure.
     
    waterworld, Burner1 and DiogoFSantos like this.
  18. Unjustfailure

    Unjustfailure Fapstronaut

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    And after some hours and some depressed moments
    Relapsed once more
    I think my mind is completely fucked up
     
    D . J . likes this.
  19. Unjustfailure

    Unjustfailure Fapstronaut

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    Putting a challenge for once more to fail again
     
  20. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    Do you realize you are setting yourself up to fail? You continue to talk about the bad and the negative, you even have 'failure' in your username! Change that! Change your attitude! You are not the first person to struggle through this. Yes, this is hard and it will be hard be one day it will be easier.
     

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