The Last Virgin Remaining

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Dec 26, 2017.

  1. I'll be 20 in a few months and I've never dated anyone. I know I'm young and that it doesn't mean I'm a loser but sometimes, I think it must have something to do with my addiction to porn. I feel pretty lonely because of that but I'm too scared to talk to men.
    I feel stupid complaining about that because there are more important things but still, I want to be and feel loved by someone. Who doesn't?! :)
    I only have an artificial knowledge of what 'making love' is and I don't this anymore.
    I just want a real relationship, with real situations, and real love.
    I hope I'll rediscover what sex really means after this 90 days journey !


    PS: Sorry for the title hahaha it looks like the title of a book. Pretty dramatic! :D
     
  2. Shaque118

    Shaque118 Fapstronaut

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    I can empathize with your endless lonesomeness. I have been dreading existence because of the same reason. Sometimes, there are days where I wish I could just have sex to lose my virginity and there also days where I just feel desperate for anyone's attention. However, I think both of us have to learn that we should not stay clean for the sake of sex but rather for ourselves and mental health. We need to develop a new sense of self respect before we can find another person. If we constantly try and do it for someone else we will only succumb to relapses.
     
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  3. That's a wise piece of advice ! Thank you :) I wish you the best with that situation ;)
     
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  4. lamstronger

    lamstronger Fapstronaut

    The addiction to porn does play a part in it. Step one is to leave it behind. Good luck, find an accountability partner to help you on this journey.
     
  5. Thank you for the advice! Good luck to you too ;)
     
  6. wakingthelionsinme

    wakingthelionsinme Fapstronaut

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    I'm not in a race to lose my virginity like I was around 5 or 6 years ago. I'm focused on bettering myself and leaving behind this huge addiction to porn.
     
  7. EyesToSeeEarsToHear

    EyesToSeeEarsToHear Fapstronaut

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    Nothing wrong with your feelings here. Nothing at all.

    Just try to go out in safe settings more. It's not hard for most women to attract men's attention these days. Not at all. Hard part is discerning who you want to keep talking to.

    Further self development will give you loads of confidence about your decisions in this area of your life.
     
  8. chris3spice

    chris3spice Fapstronaut

    I feel you, I'm 32 never dated anyone. I've never held hands or kissed or anything before.

    I know though that if you can't be happy on your own then even if you find a woman you won't be happy in the relationship in the long run I've heard that enough times and heard it from co-workers and friends that I believe it.

    I'm super introverted but I manage to go out and sit at a coffee shop. Nothing has happened from it yet but I am out of my comfort zone and maybe just maybe I'll find a girl that drives me so crazy I'll just get up and talk to her. I've noticed a more nagging feeling to talk to women and I've never felt that before NoFap and I think if i continue the nervousness will die down more because even thinking about talking to them before I'd get all sweaty but now with the little nagging it's not as bad. I'm making a little progress so hang in there and you will to how long I'm sure depends on each individual.
     
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  9. dundleup

    dundleup Fapstronaut

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    Hey, don't worry too much about it. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 25.

    The important thing is you're focused on the right thing. Having a relationship with something you genuinely care about.
     
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  10. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

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    Being a virgin at 20 isnt a big deal, its just made out to be in todays world.

    Frankly, the reality is as a women in this world, you have far easier access to sex. You don't even need to be interested in having sex, just go to any bar, propose to guys "i want to have sex with you but i will m not that interested in sex so i'll just lay there". 99% of guys will say yes.

    Which brings me to my next point. Its not that you feel bad about not having lost your virginity, you feel inadequate because lack the confidence to get a desirable relationship. I'm 100% sure if you had a relationship where sex hadn't happened, I don't think you'd be complaining about being a virgin.

    Keep improving yourself, turn yourself into positive energy and all the relationships you want will come to you because you will go out and get them.
     
  11. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

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    Hmm, quite the introvert as someone who thinks sitting at a coffee shop is getting out of your comfort zone.

    I would encourage you to do that more often, go out to public places to work. Coffee shops, libraries, parks, crowded areas in general. Talk to the baristas, shop keepers, sales assistants, people who are PAID TO BE NICE TO YOU. That way you get out of your introverted shell and think "hey, people aren't so bad".
     
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  12. chris3spice

    chris3spice Fapstronaut

    Haha yeah I'm way down the introvert scale... I have barely just started talking to the baristas but it's short and sweet I feel fake trying to have a small convo when I have no interest in the convo other than it's practice. But I have opened up a little bit more so I know if it works for me even a little it should work for others!
     
  13. mark andrews

    mark andrews Fapstronaut

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    Elisabeth, it's not a big issue, the big issue is pmo, this thing tends to isolate us from the real world but things will get better if you go on a good nofap streak. you''ll always meet and speak to people after getting an awesome sense of confidence. be positive once you start getting out of that isolation, you could possibly meet a cool guy, just leave pmo behind and get out there
     
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  14. Cornixico

    Cornixico Fapstronaut

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    Try learning a language, that opened up a whole new world for me, when I speak in Spanish I too focused on the thinking of the words and phrases that I don't have time to be anxious.
     
  15. chris3spice

    chris3spice Fapstronaut

    I am learning Korean. Threats what I do at the coffee shop since I have very limited internet at home
     
  16. Thanks for the advice ! :)
     
  17. Thank you, that give me hope! I think I'm going to do the same and just go sit in a coffee shop or places like this, to get out of my comfort zone! :) Good luck to you tho ;)
     
  18. Great advice, thank you so much! :)
     
  19. Turning 24 soon, and I'm in the same boat. Its not like I care bout sex as much as just a relationship! Being a virgin is not a problem at all.
    But hey, there is still time. It could happen to be next year, next month, or even next week. Hope never dies!
    Sure it gets hard sometimes.. But I think every moment of waiting will be worth.

    Good luck!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  20. Thank you and good luck to you too ;)
     
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