The Glorious Cold Approach Competition of 2016! (Triggers and Harsh Language)

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Mr. Sir, Dec 29, 2015.

  1. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Depending on how she felt talking with you for over an hour it might be too late. You want to escalate it sooner rather than later so you don't get friend zoned. Don't become that person she goes to to talk to about all her issues or whatever. Make it clear you want to do more than just go on walks. Don't do lunch dates or anything like that, do dinner dates or go out for drinks. Friends meet up for lunch, dates should be at night.

    And if she does reject you, stay friends and move on to the next girl. Don't get hung up on it and learn from the experience.
     
    never_again likes this.
  2. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    I agree, and down the road after I've had my fun I might consider women with kids, but where I am at in my life right now, kids are not something I care to think about, my own or someone's who I am dating. It's hard enough trying to get my life in order, I am so not ready to deal with kids.

    And again agree about the evils of yoga pants, but I find it just makes me more aware if I am objectifying them and to stop it before I go too far. I personally just find it a great environment because I am getting way more comfortable there and I can envision myself thriving with the confidence working out has given me.
     
  3.  
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2016
  4. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Sounds like you're on the right path man, keep it up! I hear you about noticing people with bad vibes more easily. It's funny, I work in retail and almost all my coworkers there are grumpy or upset over something stupid and I'm all like.:D

    But yeah, it's hard initially to get more comfortable but keep practicing! Even small conversations with random people helps get you more at ease. Compliments go a long way to easing into approaches.
     
    Temujin likes this.
  5. Thanks for the support man, I gotta get this boulder moving!!
     
    volt2187 likes this.
  6. Earl Sweatshirt

    Earl Sweatshirt Fapstronaut

    64
    66
    18
    I see @Buzz Lightyear is still inspiring! Don't stop!

    I definitely feel like doing the "coffee shop strategy" now because after I hit Day 60 I began longing for a meaningful connection with a woman. And now since I'm pretty much not crushing on anyone and began to use dating apps a little less, it is my time to shine.
     
  7. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,739
    2,907
    143
    So, I have 3 dates organized this weekend, no wait, that's on Friday [I don't work Friday's]:D.

    Then another on Sunday. Nice to see I have Saturday free [I have to keep a calendar for this these days]. I may go out to see if I can meet someone.

    When you start getting a few dates, it tends to snowball as you just get more used to being around woman.

    A friend reckons I suffer from the illusion of abundance because I am not 'closing'. But I am not looking to bed as many woman as I can, I'm just looking for a quality girlfriend.:rolleyes:

    Go hard people!
     
  8. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    967
    427
    63
    I now have to approach 2 women a day, all by myself. Scared as hell.
     
    Earl Sweatshirt, Temujin and volt2187 like this.
  9. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

    404
    266
    63
    Spent another day with the girl I spent the weekend with. We talked about the seduction and I learnt some interesting things.

    Apparently she thought I was super boring. However I kept trying. I kept inviting her out and I kept trying to escalate. That's what she liked about me.

    We are now in a non-exclusive relationship of sorts. Fuck buddies I guess. Should definitely help with 'rewiring' this damn addiction.

    Now I know I really have to work on my banter. Time to get back out there!
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2016
    BrainPlasticity and volt2187 like this.
  10. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

    402
    264
    63
    I'm joining this challenge. finally it feels my head is a bit clear but I would like to approach and have some female love and companionship.

    I'm not sure if I'll have the same experience but I hope to find more quality than quantity. Some say you need to try and do as much as you can first and then go for quality but I don't think I want to bed as many hot women as possible. I'd rather have a great, cute looking girl who is my type for a few months non-exclusively than shag 10 just once during that time. One time sex isn't usually my thing unless I feel something about her, even the slightest.

    So we will see how it goes. Best of luck to all of you.
     
    TakingTheSteps and Temujin like this.
  11. Earl Sweatshirt

    Earl Sweatshirt Fapstronaut

    64
    66
    18
    I'm considering doing 3 per week now, my minimum would be 2. I turned my frustration into motivation and now I'm looking very forward to meeting new people.
     
  12. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    967
    427
    63
    havent been meeting my daily goals. looks like I have to go to SF.
     
  13. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

    404
    266
    63
    One approach a day rule seems to be the best. Of course some days you do more
    But if you miss a single day it's so difficult to get back into the swing of things. 100% is easy. 99% is hard.
     
  14. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,739
    2,907
    143
    As for the flaky numbers, never write them off. Half the time, you'll get a text out of the blue. And before you know it, you have a date organized. Within the past few months, I've had about half a dozen woman re-initiate contact with me [not that they all go somewhere, but there's always a chance]. And due to this very phenomenon, just in the last few of days, I've organized a couple of dates in the big city. Unless one of them flakes, I'll have to choose between them. ha ha
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2016
    Temujin likes this.
  15. Earl Sweatshirt

    Earl Sweatshirt Fapstronaut

    64
    66
    18
    @Buzz Lightyear What is best time to visit a coffee shop to meet people?
     
  16. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,739
    2,907
    143
    Hmmm, when it's moderately busy is best.
     
    Earl Sweatshirt likes this.
  17. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    967
    427
    63
    I chickened out of 3 approaches today, then when I did approach a woman she got creeped out and said I was standing too close to her. I feel like piece of crap.
     
  18. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Why? You're attempting to do the approaches and that's what matters. Rome wasn't built in a day. Better put, rebooting didn't happen overnight.

    Yes you "chickened out" but you thought about doing it compared to just falling into a mindset of not wanting to talk to girls because of past failures or something like that. And yeah the one approach you did didn't pan out, but you tried, and you can't get successful with talking to girls if you don't try. I ran a marathon in October and it took me about 200 other runs to get to the point where I could complete such an athletic feat. I can tell you first-hand that I need to have the same dedication to approaches that I had with running if I'm going to successfully fix this area in my life.

    Forget about hitting some random bogus quota, that's self defeating when you don't reach it. I do think a minimum of one a day should be a goal because that means every day you're trying. Even if it's a simple smile or acknowledging them it's progress. As someone who was going strong and then got lazy and stopped with the daily approaches, I can tell you you need to keep up on it, because it's easy to fall back to the old habits of not talking to girls. Keep your head up, smile, even if it's forced, and approach each girl like all your previous ones were successes.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 28, 2016
  19. MercenaryKing

    MercenaryKing Fapstronaut

    57
    319
    53
    Thought I'd post a little update on daygame. Generally in the daytime you keep your energy lower and it works well with approaches. My friend Alex and his good friend have been doing the opposite: they go out and pump each other up and get into such an uninhibited flow state that they're radiating energy, positivity and value. In this state, nothing could phase them. Alex, formerly a shy and retiring guy, can now be seen dancing like an idiot while his friend beatboxes, or calling out to a three-set across the city street "hey! You girls! Stay right there I want to talk to you!" and weaving through traffic to open them. He's a machine of fun, masculine, positive energy. And he's having a lot of sex. A lot. So there's a hugely important thing to remember here: be yourself, obviously. But your personality doesn't equal your levels of energy or positivity. Alex is still being uniquely himself. But he's doing so in a way that's uninhibited and high energy. He's pushing the boundaries of possibility. If he says "I wonder if we could approach a four-set and get numbers?" his friend will be like "let's try it!" and turn around to open some girls who just walked past. It's exploration and experimentation at it's most liberating. Sometimes they'll fail laughably, but that's just it: they laugh about it. It's total fun and an act of bringing value to the table. It's a mindset totally indifferent to the girls' opinions of you. It's a flow state of expansion and self-improvement.
    I know that for people starting out with daygame you want to stay safe and test the waters tentatively, get comfortable with the whole idea of cold approaching. And it's very understandable. But don't restrict your behaviour or experimentation because of fear of failure. There is abundance in this world. So get out there, enjoy your approaches as much as you can, and make it a game. It's about growth, it's about having fun and finding connection, it's about being assertive with your interest without fearing rejection. It's about liberating your authentic self from social confines.
    Happy approaching guys, keep up the good work
     
    Temujin, Chef Boy and BrainPlasticity like this.
  20. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    967
    427
    63
    Every time I miss an approach or it doesn't go well I end up feeling negative, which makes it harder to approach. Been in SF for about 5 hours ins only tried to approach once during that time.
     

Share This Page