The Friend Zone

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Panda.RN, Sep 26, 2014.

  1. IWantABetterLife22

    IWantABetterLife22 NoFap Moderator

    470
    13
    0
    The "friend zone" doesn't exist. It implies that women can't be just friends with a guy, and that they owe men sex. If you act like a friend, then you're going to be a friend. But if she doesn't want to sleep with you, then you have to respect her choice. It's not your choice, it's her. There are things you can do to show her you're interested, like the advice mentioned by other fapstronuats, but get out of this "friend-zoned" mindset. If she only wants to be your friend, stop whining and move on. There is much to be said about being assertive in the pursuit of a woman, but at a certain point that becomes creepy and even harassment. Women aren't here to "fuck you."
     
  2. NotALoserAnymore

    NotALoserAnymore Fapstronaut

    75
    1
    0
    Read "The Book of Pook" and many things will be clear.
     
  3. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Your on the wrong fucking forum, this is nofap, if you want to increase your chances with women then go to a pickup artist forum, sounds to me like you've got no game... To women, this is what it is all about.


    The good thing is you're getting dates so you have the initial phases of attraction sussed out. But when you're on a date that's when you need to step up and demonstrate you can be their boyfriend. This comes with building sexual tension and not platonic topics of conversation. This is probably why you're friendzoned a lot. Don't worry I've had the same except with girls that are not that easy on the eye but then I wasn't bothered too much.

    I guess that's the trick don't be bothered. Hmmm, girls are tough to figure out. Well, actually it is pretty easy... Just I'm too logical so their emotional switches have me all confused.
     
  4. Man On Fire

    Man On Fire Fapstronaut

    18
    2
    0
    I agree with Ekhangel - ask them - total honesty, openness and cutting to the chase are very admirable qualities in the male species.
     
  5. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

    325
    108
    43
    I was actually kinda joking, but if this works... why the hell not. It would however be balancing on the verge of nonsense.
     
  6. giggleshmack

    giggleshmack Distinguished Fapstronaut

    To me, it seems like you're trying to be too platonic, too polite. Its possible these women get the impression that's all you're after; friends and not romantic companions.

    I agree with the previous posters that its all about tension.

    You should touch her on the first date. Lightly and rarely. That may achieve that balance you want. Like lightly squeezing her shoulder when she smiles at a compliment. Or offering her your hand as she steps over a curb, out of a car or if the two of you are navigating through a crowd. Hug her at the end of the date! Don't ask for a hug, just go for it!

    As for conversation, I don't think sex should be a considered an inappropriate topic. Sex with her should be, definitely, but not sex in general and if the conversation starts heading that direction, maybe talk about a humorous past sexual experience of yours very vaguely. I like to ask "what's the craziest thing you've ever done?" She'll think for a second, form an embarrassed smile and then tell some funny story about breaking the law, or more likely, when her and some boy had sex in a place they shouldn't have and nearly got caught.
     
  7. HookerFan

    HookerFan Fapstronaut

    52
    26
    18
    No offense, but maybe you are not?

    I'm sexually unattractive myself and it takes a lot of courage to admit it b/c we all like to think we are "the shit", right?

    Anyway, my observation is there's no such thing as a "friend zone". There's only an "ugly zone". If you disagree, that's fine. But spend some time in observing couples and you will realize that it doesn't matter "what" a guy does. It only matters what he looks like.
     
  8. JimmyParacas

    JimmyParacas Fapstronaut

    29
    0
    1
    THIS! You can read all you want from pick up artists, I particularly approve Tyler Durden and Thundercat, but besides all the alpha male bullcrap and being an asshole stuff, Just do whatever freedomflight does
     
  9. Jasonwolf

    Jasonwolf Fapstronaut

    92
    0
    0
    I've agonized over this problem for a long time too.

    My solution is easy -- ALWAYS touch on the first date. If you're sitting and talking for coffee or dinner, ask to see her hands and linger longer. When you get up, put your hand on her back. When you're walking, hold hands (flat first, interlock later or if signs are good). A good strategy is to move to a semi-private place (like at a park, where people are around but not right in front of you). Do the movie pose (your hand around on her opposite shoulder). A hug is always appropriate at the end of a date. Kissing her on her hands is fine too.

    You're not kissing her mouth and fucking right away but you are signalling that you want to at some vague point in the future. After that, you can read the signals and dial up/down appropriately.

    I used to be deathly afraid of touching girls (still am) but then I realized that I had to do it first. Very rarely, as in only once, did a girl touch me first and give me signs. I noticed that right away and I responded.

    I don't like the word "tension" because it sounds like a bad word. But I guess that this strategy does create for you physical tension. Friends don't touch each other in this sort of way.
     
  10. alchemist2014

    alchemist2014 Fapstronaut

    42
    8
    8

    Give her a compliment and apply some kino, always touch the woman as often as possible, pay attention to how she responds, if she's comfortable with the nonsexual touching, then gradually get more sexual.
     
  11. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

    325
    54
    28
    A note about the "always touch" approach, there are women out there who screen potential boyfriends based on their respect for personal space on the first date. Some of them are nice enough to warn you in advance, some not. Lots of folks are very into touch with loved ones, but not at all with people they've just met, even when future romance is on the table. There's no "always" and "never" when it comes to first dates. Pay attention to her words and body language. Your own comfort zone isn't always going to work against you either. Sometimes being yourself really does work.
     
  12. aeneas

    aeneas New Fapstronaut

    2
    0
    0
    Well, it seems that a lot of you red the Mystery Method, David Deangelo or something from RSD and Arash Dibazar. Google PUA and read some things. I would start with the Mystery Method or Double Your Dating. Hope this helps.
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2014
  13. MiChaelinzo

    MiChaelinzo Fapstronaut

    6
    0
    0
    Arouse her give her some arousing body language to make her deeply interested with you and make your move tada :] " 55% of communication is body language, 38% is the tone of voice, and 7% is the actual words spoken. "
     
  14. EternalWaves

    EternalWaves Guest


    "Touching", like any other emotion, should simply come by instinct.
    Normally you feel if you "want" to touch someone right now, or not.
    This cannot be explained further, it is instinct.

    But if you touch a woman just because you read it in some "how-to-be-successful-with-women" guidance, then she will clearly feel the intellectual intent and will flee.
     
  15. alchemist2014

    alchemist2014 Fapstronaut

    42
    8
    8

    If she flee's, there are lots of women out there, she's not the only one!.
     

Share This Page