The economic rammifications of porn addiction (ENOUGH!!)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by john27, Feb 12, 2018.

  1. john27

    john27 Fapstronaut

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    I've spent over $15 000 on fetish clips the last five years. Fetishes that all have been created by my addiction. Only one of them actually existed since early puberty.

    I've paid insane amounts for custom videos by different internet "dommes" to include various fetishes. Every time looking for that "ultimate high", actually believing that this will be the last video I order because how can anything top this?

    Now, looking at a folder of 400GB worth of videos I either bought or custom ordered, and I don't even feel anything, because I've become my addiction. This is life to me.
    Custom ordered clips with all the sexiest women on the internet, and still I feel totally indifferent. This scares me.

    Every day I check multiple different different sites for updates on my different fetishes. Just sitting like a zombie looking for that next clip I could buy. Probably refreshing these sites hundreds of times a day. I don't even think anymore, I just sit here and my brain does its routine.

    I spend my money on porn like I do food. I treat it as something I need to survive. Just the thought of not buying the newest clips scare the shit outta me, but I have to face it.

    Now it's time for change, this is ruining my life, but it's been happening so slowly that I've just become numb to it.

    Thank you if you read this. I'm gonna try to get myself out of this hell if it's the last thing I'll do.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2018
    Reborn16, 2525, Duke of Gine and 3 others like this.
  2. Man .. this is one of a kind story. with loads of power comes great responsibility.

    you need a change mate, i hope you will find yourself soon.
     
    2525, Berthold Witold and john27 like this.
  3. john27

    john27 Fapstronaut

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    I'm happy I found this place. I'm going to use it as a safe haven. I will probably spend a lot of time here to distract myself as well.
     
  4. Its absolute hell bro .. Its great that you realized the danger .
     
    Reborn16, 2525, Amal and 1 other person like this.
  5. You made a good choice, it'll be hard, but you can do this. Feel free to interact with other fapstronauts, everyone is nice here. :)
     
    2525 and john27 like this.
  6. john27

    john27 Fapstronaut

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    Almost at 24 hours. Already insanely hard to focus on anything. Fingers itching.
     
    2525 likes this.
  7. ludwig525

    ludwig525 Fapstronaut

    @john27 i can totally relate. For decades i almost always had memberships to 2-4 sites. You are more than that person. It can feel like a sickness, because it kinda is. Like being sick, you can get through it. Take care of yourself.
     
    2525 and john27 like this.
  8. john27

    john27 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, that means a lot. At this point 24 hours is a victory for me. Most I've been away from porn in years. I've been using it as a way of escape reality and my emotions for so long, I'm actually afraid of my feelings. But I'm gonna take them like a man when they come, and they will.
     
    Reborn16 and Vulkan like this.
  9. Maddey

    Maddey Fapstronaut

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    u need to go for a retreat.

    type s.n. goenka on the net and register ursefl for a 10 day meditation course. dont think just do it. these meditation camps are all over the world. u'll find one near u probably.
     
  10. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    Woah, I was so poor throughout my life that I never bought film,music or porn. Only books here and there. Still, there are alot of economic repercussions, since i wasted thousands of hours searching and downloading, not to mention the emotional.
     
  11. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Few posts have impacted me as profoundly as John27's. I tried to make a rough estimate of the amount of economic value wasted to porn and masturbation addiction.....staggering. Hookers, massage parlors, sex toys, booze...looking for sex, exercise sessions skipped, sleep lost, a computer wrecked, etc..... If one even put a TINY monetary value on the time lost.....

    Incalculable. And I am not even mentioning the emotional side of things.

    Thanks John27 for a sobering post. You helped me today.
     
  12. john27

    john27 Fapstronaut

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    This makes me happy to read, glad I could help. You're helping me as well by posting this!
     
    Davidphd1866 and ludwig525 like this.
  13. wake_up

    wake_up Fapstronaut

    Woa ... cudos for having the courage writing this.

    Also this is a point, I didn't consider that much in my analysis. Thanks for that.

    If you have problems with the usual methods mentioned here on the forums, try this:
    My current approach is this one (even if it not that intuitive it seems to work)
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...op-smoking-applying-the-method-to-pmo.155008/
    Check out the book if you keep relapsing.
    In this thread I try to apply the method to PMO and collecting the similarities.

    There is also a passage about the total lifetime costs of smoking which are about 75 000 GBP.

    These both quotes are really getting to the point. I think the PMO addiction may even cost far more that the 75k ...
     
    Davidphd1866 likes this.
  14. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    Viruses? So bad you couldn't reformat and re-install?
     
  15. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Yes. I would get viruses all the time, but one was so bad the computer couldn't be saved!
     
  16. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    Wow! The only way for that to happen, that I ever heard of, was where the virus over-wrote the BIOS - the stored in flash code on the motherboard that allows any higher level code to talk to the disks, keyboard, etc. Then you are dead in the water.
     
    wake_up likes this.
  17. thorswrath32

    thorswrath32 Fapstronaut

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    Porn is like any other addiction, it is a hunger that you can never satiate or feel fulfilled. It always leaves you empty. Like drugs, i've had experience with both. Whilst i don't remember ever paying for porn, i used drugs with it and i estimate during my 5 or so years of drug induced porn viewing i spent about £80,000 on drugs. By all rights i should have paid off my mortgage by now 3 times over but yet all i have to show for my addiction is a criminal record and a broken soul. The best way to beat an addiction is to starve it of what it craves, when you don't feed something long enough, it dies, that's why abstinence works and it's tough but worth it. I can't imagine ever going back to porn again. I would recommend reading
    'in the shadows of the net' by Dr Patrick Carnes. It's a very well researched book and would be a good starting point for you. I would also recommend 'your brain on porn' by Gary Wilson.
     
    Maddey, Reborn16, Vulkan and 2 others like this.
  18. john27

    john27 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this post, it's very motivating, especially seeing as you have 500+ days, just makes me believe it's possible!

    I will definitely check these books out. I'm already spending more time reading now that I'm changing out my porn use with other activities.
     
  19. wake_up

    wake_up Fapstronaut

    that just sounds hightly unlikely ...

    I agree with that, and such viruses are really really rare and the main argument is, that there is usually no economic/monetary motivation to do this. Usually you'll get some sort on trojan which spies on you and steals your (financial /banking / cc ) data - or the current trending crypto trojan.

    But back to @Davidphd1866 , yeah, I don't deny the fact, that hardware may break b/c of the addiction. I had some sort of (slight) rampage against my smartphone, b/c I relapsed and I managed to break it completely after hitting it (had to bend it back and change the mainboard :p )

    woa ... where do you have so much money to spend ? you'd need a well paying job *and* at least pretend to be a functioning individual at work/life despite your addiction. How did u manage that ?
     
  20. Haroon226

    Haroon226 Fapstronaut

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    Lol about the messed up computer. Sounds like it caught an STD!! But on serious note I wish all those struggling people all the best and hope they resist the urges.
     

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