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The discomfort of virginity

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Oli95, Apr 18, 2018.

  1. Ozatm

    Ozatm Fapstronaut

    I feel that it really comes down to how you view your virginity. Some people hold it in high regard, if that's you then I'd say don't give in to peer pressure. You'll just feel guilt and shame about how you abandoned your principles, and that's not a great way to start a sex life.

    However if, like me, you don't really see a need to be a virgin, and it is simply describes the fact that you haven't had sex with someone yet, then I don't see a problem with having sex to relieve a discomfort with the social stigma of being a virgin. I would caution you that, as others have mentioned, simply having sex isn't going to change much other than removing the label of virgin. It will take much more than a one night stand to figure out who you are when it comes to sex, how to share an intimate encounter with another person, and to feel like you are no longer a novice in the bedroom.

    So please make sure that you're doing so for yourself, because you want to enter the world of sex, and not because you feel like you should to make others happy. I myself didn't lose my virginity until I was 26, so I know the conflicting pressures of a society that at the same time says that you should save yourself for someone special, and that looks down on you for not finding that person yet.

    - Ozatm
     
  2. Somnambulist

    Somnambulist Fapstronaut

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    For me, I threw away my virginity as soon as was possible. The discomfort of dealing with my sex drive was far greater than the want to remain a virgin. It was never anything particularly special, just fulfilling a need. It certainly didn't take away any sort of loneliness, other than maybe gaining some physical contact. In the end, all it was to me was relieving myself. It was absolutely no replacement for a real relationship.
     
  3. 29 y/o virgin here. I'm no longer worried that I still am one. I tried rushing it a few years ago, and it didn't feel right
     
  4. daath144

    daath144 New Fapstronaut

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    Not having sex is the dumbest thing. Whatever reasoning is behind it is guarantied to 100% flawed. I mean the premise is so dumbfounding that I find it hard to spend energy trying to communicate. Jung said that people are afraid to face their soul. The soul is the authentic self. Now what this means is that you will cling on your fake confidence and not risk it. I promise you that you're doing a huge mistake. And there are no morality issue either. You should however go out of your way to find girls to fuck right now or else you're a ignorant beta male. But it's like trying to tell a thin person that he needs to eat more calories to gain weight, you'll know he look back at you with that smug superiority persona and just ignore what you're saying. This is why empathy is is useless in the land of the ignorant.
     
  5. I was a 40 year old virgin, so you can imagine my disappointment when I finally realised when I had sex it wasn't that great.

    My philosophy: The most important thing is who we are inside. If we are the best person we can be it is all that matters. Achievement isn't based on what we do, it is about who we are.
     
    btwiseman and Deleted Account like this.
  6. This made me smile. Thank you.
     
  7. MDA

    MDA New Fapstronaut

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    It depends on the culture and the society that you are living in.
    For strict societies which i am living in, where premarital sex is a taboo - to the point that virginity for girls is prerequisite for marriage - I think being a virgin guy gives you more confidence, and less guilt towards your future bride.
    A virgin girl deserves a virgin guy after all
     
  8. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    I don't know
    Now I have starting have strange anxiety regarding my marriage
    I have certain good examples(people) in my life who inspired me to be virgin
    But still I wonder how they control their horniness
    During my college life
    There was one my Muslim friend who inspired me a lot
    Inspire of being good looking ...he was a very pure guy..... without any porn without masturbation....even he guarded himself from girls
    Quite religious too
    So whenever I think of him I got inspired
     

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