The cure to loneliness

Ever feel empty or even more lonely after talking to someone? Ever just think “god I’m lonely I just need someone to talk to”? Then after talking to someone you actually don’t feel any less lonely? I believe this is because of howww we interact with people. The interactions themselves aren’t enough to quell our loneliness. It’s how we do it that really matters.

What I’m talking about is that we need to be vulnerable in our interactions. That is the only way we can feel close to someone, through vulnerability. I feel like the word vulnerable is synonymous with real. Now I’m not saying to spill our life stories and deepest insecurities with someone from the get go. But gradually work towards that. Think about it, you won’t feel lonely with someone who knows you entirely inside out and you’ll get to the point where you could just sit in silence with that person for hours and it’d just feel nice. No ones guard is up. You’re just two human beings enjoying each other’s company and there’s no mystery or doubt with each other because you’ve both been vulnerable with each other. You can say whatevers on your mind to this person and just completely be yourself. It’s connection.

For examples I think to start out would be to talk slightly about yourself and “from yourself”. What I mean by that is to speak truly what you feel in your conversations. Don’t be rude though. What I mean is to say something that truly comes from you now and then that could be controversial or has potential for rejection. And anything that comes from the real you has potential for rejections. That’s why I believe it’s so hard for people to be themselves (and why social media with all it’s fakeness only adds to our loneliness, this is why I believe it makes sense now that we’re more lonely than ever because through social media everyone is becoming less and less real). I mean ANY kind of rejection, a joke that could not be seen as funny, you’re opinion on something that could get you laughed at. We’re all unique and interesting people it’s just that some of us are too afraid to show ourselves because of the fear of rejection.



I ramble on in my posts so I kind of forgot the main idea of what warranted me to write this. But whoever knows what I’m talking about and has read the book Models by Mark Manson can probably see the influence. Read it if you haven’t. It’s the best book on dating there is and ever will be.The point is we all need to be vulnerable and honest with each other. If you feel a certain way about something express it, it’s not weak to say “hey I feel pretty insecure about this” or “I strongly believe that is wrong” you’re a god damn human and we need to show that. And showing that makes it easy for other people to show themselves as well. This is what’s called a “connection”.

It’s important to not be judgemental when someone opens up to you though because this will actually have the opposite affect in forming closeness. Treat someone how you would want to be treated if you were showing your real self with someone. It’s scary. And hard. So be nurturing. And accepting. Then we can truly connect with one another. Just one person is enough to quell our loneliness because the quality of that connection will beat out the shallow 100s of connections where you just talk about the weather. Good luck everyone. I hope you take this advice and maybe even add to it.

 

Yes watch how you be vulnerable. You might not want to tell someone you just met you have severe depression. You have to look at how you would react if you were listening to yourself. Its off putting. I hope more people will see this thread.

 

Hmm I kind of agree with this. The people I’m addressing however are the ones that make no commitment to get close to people and complain about being lonely. They have to show themselves in order to get close.

And we are telling people with negative thoughts to reach out. But they should be to the right people. The ones they’re close to or therapists to really feel heard. Granted some people who are strangers to you will still connect with these people but from what I’ve seen especially online everyone is just very lonely and are looking for some quick fix.