The collapse of an Alpha

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Mr.Airball, Jan 2, 2019.

  1. Mr.Airball

    Mr.Airball Fapstronaut

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    Alright guys i am new in this site it has been 10 minutes after i signed up to NoFap so first hello to everyone! I want to tell me my life story shortly and then request some advices from you (the topic is about it bit it's a little bit exaggerated :D). When i was younger i had no problems with talking girls at all and i had always got admissions from girls as they have a crush on me. Also i was the most succesfull student in my classes. I was in a champion basketball team and i was behaving exactly like a jerk tbh. After some years i started to have social insecureness and problems with talking to girls. Also i became a waaay nicer guy then my acne problem started to show up. This all happened when i started to masturbate daily. Then when i gratuated and went to college i still had acne problems but i used some pills for months to get rid of them and i finally beat that problem. Then i started to read about nofap and some other things on YouTube etc. to get my life together back. Also i had a crush on a girl for 2 years but i couldnt even talk to her in that period of time because of my lack of confidence. Also in last 2 years i was the captain of my schools basketball team and also played for volleyball team but not the best student at class. In the last summer i read the book "The Game" of Neil Strauss and i finally gained all my confidence back and made sure to talk to the girl i had crush on. Also my performances in classes when to the place that i wanted. And then guess what? After 3 days the school started, i've heard that she has gone to another college. That was one of the biggest dissapointments of my life and i started to suck in life again. Now i am trying to be the me 3 years ago. I want to be the alpha of the people around me but i cant because people dont find me funny anymore. They see me as a really nice, serious and idealist guy. And i have lots of problems contacting to not only girls but also men. So i need your advices too much.
     
  2. Mr.Airball

    Mr.Airball Fapstronaut

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    Sorry about my bad English writing skills :D
     
  3. Limitbreaker

    Limitbreaker Fapstronaut

    So first off, an Alpha NEVER EVER is a jerk or someone putting others down. Alphas always do the first step and are good hearted people, they never treat anyone bad because they think they are better, they dont want trouble but if they are in conflict or their friends they will fight.

    Life is not like a Hollywood movie, we have our ups and downs. The harder the downfall the more potential to rise up again and for growth.

    Sure you can cut off masturbation a little bit, like you feel good. There are people who feel good if they masturbate daily, i count myself to them. The real problems are much more deeper in the emotions.

    Throw this junk of Neill Strauss away. I read "The game" myself and its disgusting! Thats not how alphas treat girls or interact with them. BTW: If you research named "Tyler Durden" the ugly dude in the book, you will find out a really disturbing story about a guy who destroyed the life of millions. Those dudes are the dudes who are ruining it for everyone! They have affected a whole generation of named PUAs who are all empty from the inside! They dont give the girl anything, because they dont have anything, no emotions, no goals they just fuck up their lifes and the ones of their "perfect 10s!".

    I have had the same situation with a girl i really really liked. I never walked up to her, because i was afraid, depressed, not man enough. You can accept it and use it as knowledge and what you want to do, if you are in the same situation again. The same situation will happen again. Its like a test.

    Why do you really want to be alpha? Because you want to be better than anybody else? Because you want to be validated cause of your performances? Do you want it so that people find you attractive and hang out with you?

    If those things are the reasons, then you are clearly not an alpha. Alphas dont need to be better than anybody else. Alphas have their own visions, goals, ways. And they find their validation in themselves, in the things they do for themselves. Thats what makes those people attractive. They dont do it to be liked or to be the leader...they do it cause real alphas like to give to others without actually wanting anything from anyone. Look at Sylvester Stallone. Does he need the validation of someone else? Hell no!

    Some really good Alpha role models are: JFK, Hypnotica, Sylvester Stallone.

    And please please do not ever come around with alpha behaviour theories from PickUpArtists...This is exactly what a Alpha is NOT!

    The six pillars of self esteem from Nathaniel Branden is what you can learn. In this book, you can learn more about being attractive and confidence around girls than 20 PickUp books
    https://www.amazon.de/Six-Pillars-S...49&sr=8-1&keywords=six+pillars+of+self+esteem

    Good luck and Man up!
     
  4. Mr.Airball

    Mr.Airball Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much you changed my mind about being an alpha because i was confused. Now i have a clear vision on the alpha behaviour. Thanks again for all your advices and also i need help in something else. People dont find me funny even if i wit swiftly but if someone else does the same/similar joke everybody laughs. I think about tge reason and two things come to my mind: first i have really calm, serious, neat and
     
  5. Mr.Airball

    Mr.Airball Fapstronaut

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    kind apperance on poeple's eyes so when i talk they think that i will tell something serious so they dont expect a joke from me. Second i maybe cant make my jokes with right tonation. Should i change my behaviour if so what would you reccomend me to do. (And omg i need learn how to use this forum properly asap :D)
     
  6. Limitbreaker

    Limitbreaker Fapstronaut

    What does feel right to you? If it feels right to crack a joke its good. If you dont feel like you want to laugh why would you try to bring a joke then? Its more about your feelings. Why do you want them to laugh? Are you afraid that they will leave you if you dont bring a joke? Its not that much about your behaviour. Its not about how you bring the jokes. Its about why you do that. If you want to crack a joke so that they laugh so that they like you, you would be manipulating people to like you. Dont take it to seriously its totally ok to not make jokes all the time. If you feel like you want to crack a joke then do it, but do not expect others to laugh about it or that others will find it funny. You have to feel comfortable in yourself and people who like you wont leave you, if you do not crack a joke all the time.

    Heres just a tip: Ask others to tell their favourite joke. This is a good opener: " Hey, can you tell me your favorite joke" or "You look like you know a lot of funny stories, please tell me one" nobody ever would turn you down for being interested in her/him and asking for something they like to laugh about. You dont need to be funny all the time, give others a chance to be funny too :D
     
    Mr.Airball likes this.
  7. Limitbreaker

    Limitbreaker Fapstronaut

    Calm down. Get out of your head. You can only change from the inside your outside world. Accept yourself just the way you are in the moment. You dont have to like it, just accept it and make peace with yourself. Then focus all your energy on the things you want to be and you want to do. Do not compare to others. Comparing to others will always hurt your self esteem. You are good the way you are.
     
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  8. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut

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    You're trying to force it, that's the problem. Jokes come naturally when you're in the right mindset. Seems like you have a reserved attitude around other people. The best way for me to explain how to overcome this is to not to focus on this individual problem but to thoroughly build your social skills and confidence. Quitting masturbation and porn will have a major impact.
     
    Mr.Airball likes this.
  9. Mr.Airball

    Mr.Airball Fapstronaut

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    The things that you say are really instructive and i want to share my last problem with you. I cant approach girls and when there is a group conversation i always sit behind and listen to what others say. I dont know why but when im near a girl i feel so uncomfortable especially if the girl is very attractive. And for the last i behave different people differently i dont really understand why i feel amazingly confidence with some of the people around me and i feel like i will get upset when im around difgerent people. Maybe thats because they are some jerks always trying to make people upset and make fun of them but the confusing part is my popularity caliber matches with them and i get on well with them. My situation is very strange so i cant tell you exactly whats happening around me with my limited English. I think i can summarize it like this: i hang out with popular guys and i look popular outside but inside me there is an insecure guy that has a potential to get a good gf but i cant interact with girls. Thats why i care about being funny too much because almaost every girl says they want a funny guy.
     
  10. Limitbreaker

    Limitbreaker Fapstronaut

    You have to work on the inside to create your outside world. Why do you really want to approach them? Why do you really want to be funny in front of a girl? What is it? Why do you really want to spend time with popular guys, who are in your personal opinion jerks? You are not authentic here. If somebody treats me or my friends bad i will tell that he better gets the hell out of here! No matter how popular a girl or a guy is, this is no reason to mistreat people. Its important what YOU want and if you feel great around some people you know then spend time with them! Leave the people you dont feel comfortable with
     
  11. Mr.Airball

    Mr.Airball Fapstronaut

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    I knew that you will say that because after your first reply to the thread i understood your character. And the things you say are exactly what im trying to do nowadays. So i will keep doing the things I do and always be myself. Thank you for spending your time for me to help. And Man Up! :D
     

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