The Cold Approach Advice Thread

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Mr. Sir, Dec 30, 2015.

  1. swagnarock

    swagnarock Fapstronaut

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    Interesting thread....
     
  2. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Well, I don't think of myself as 'hitting on' woman. This expression has negative connotations, so it's not very helpful to buy into. Others might, and it may influence their interactions, and those interactions will more often than not be 'solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short'. No, I like to think I'm practicing the age old art of seduction, of which 'hitting' on woman would be but the dimmest of reflections.... a caveman-like devolution so to speak.:D

    Status is not so important, neither is looks. What is important for attracting women, in the normal ebb and flow of life, is energy. You want to be grounded. But more than that you want to have ideals and goals, and then those more than the merely socio-economic ones. You are then showing strength of character, and qualities of leadership. It is only natural that you should lead the interaction forward.

    And then it should just happen. You are not running around like a pinball bouncing of woman, annoying them. You are not even going out with the express intention of meeting woman. You are just doing your manly thing in the normal course of day, and hello, there's an attractive woman before you, you gravitate towards her, you go with the flow, because you are not stuck in your mind thinking what you should or should not do, or thinking of what is 'socially acceptable'. Eschew the norm, pursue what is excellent I say!:rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2016
  3. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    Okay, I'm going to say this once; PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. Different people have different tastes. So she may be into the shy guy or not. If you have anxiety, you shouldn't just approach women but men too. You need to learn to carry on a conversation with anyone. It should be about approaching people. Approach as a human being not just "an attractive woman". Comon. I say this as a woman. Everyone has different tastes, this beta or alpha male thing is bullshit. All you need is a little confidence, it's good to put yourself out there to get to know different people not just conversing with pretty women. Get rid of this addiction, not your personality. Grow into the person you want to truly be, who can live a meaningful life.
     
  4. lucky007

    lucky007 Fapstronaut

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    Your points have been duly noted, and I will definitely watch the video. I have seen some of his videos before and have liked his material.
     
  5. Mr. Sir

    Mr. Sir Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate the open-mindedness. Sometimes I can come off harsh but it's because I don't believe in no win scenarios. There's a constructive way to deal with every situation.
     
  6. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    I've somewhat stopped my cold approaches more or less because I found myself slipping back into my old ways of focusing on one girl. We're going out for lunch at some point soon, but I started to find myself focusing too much on her and if she wasn't so nice she probably would have gave me the cold shoulder by now. I opened my eyes this morning and snapped myself out of that habit and am going to continue with my approaches so I can continue to improve myself with them.

    I watched a video today that is perfect for any of us who still struggle with the initial approaches. The basic premise is that if you feel anxiety towards approaching strangers just start giving them, especially girls, genuine compliments. This is an easy way to "break the ice" per-say and give you more confidence when cold approaching. The very end of the video has a pretty bad ass tip as well that I will be doing for sure, lol.

     
  7. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    As I was pulling in to park at a coffee shop the other day, I saw a woman walking from the parking lot toward an adjacent restaurant.

    This woman was stunning. Absolutely stunning.

    Now, I'm still pretty fresh out of a divorce in February. I'm in no place to start a relationship--both from a heart aspect and from an addiction-recovery aspect. So it wasn't necessarily a bad thing that I let this opportunity slip by.

    But what I should have done was just pull the trigger. Stop and roll down my window. "Excuse me--I know this is totally random and probably weird, but I just have to tell you that you're gorgeous. Could I buy you a coffee sometime?" Now, she might have said 'hell no.' But facing my insecurities and fears head-on and just going for it would have felt amazing, I believe.

    Instead, I thought, "oh, I'll find a way to say hi when I'm standing in line with her in the coffee shop." Not only did I get out of my truck to realize the coffee shop was closed for a private event, but that she was actually going to the adjacent restaurant where she was part of the said event. I missed my chance.

    I think my point is that I need to be more willing to respond to those urges when they hit me (I realize how weird that sentence sounds coming from someone doing NoFap). There are a handful of times when I feel so attracted or drawn to a woman that I feel compelled to talk to her--even if it intimidates the hell out of me. This was one of those times. Lesson learned!
     
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  8. HereAndThere

    HereAndThere Fapstronaut

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    I reasoned like that before. I thought people were empty slates at birth, tabula rasa. But thats too easy and incomplete premise. There is alot of things that are common to all people, and what is common to one gender. Mistery is a fuckup, but he had some good one liners about human nature. Alot of ones that stand up to scrutiny.
     

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