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The best definition of "relapse" and "reset".

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by TheHatMan, Jul 10, 2015.

  1. TheHatMan

    TheHatMan Fapstronaut

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    I have some difficulty understanding the word "relapse" and "reset". Could someone explain it to me in an easy way? Thank you.

    Edit: And what does count as a relapse? Sometimes I come across bikini pictures and I do count this as a relase. But it is hard hiding from triggers.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2015
  2. LookinUp

    LookinUp Fapstronaut

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    I believe a relapse is when you PMO (or break your goal and return to your addiction). Reset is when your counter goes back to zero and you have to start your x-day challenge over again. Essentially they go hand-in-hand. For instance, I relapsed on Monday so afterwards my counter (or days PMO-free) was reset from 7 days to zero days. However, I could be wrong about this since I'm still new to the forum.
     
  3. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    The term relapse is subjective, as it depends on your long term goals and aspirations. I would consider a relapse to be when you breach your long term goals and fall victim to desire and your short term temptations or compulsions.

    What I consider to be a relapse:
    • Watching porn on purpose (graphic videos or pictures of people having sex)
    • Masturbating at all or edging
    • Seeking out sexually triggering material for excitement (not necessarily sexual excitement)
    What I do not consider to be a relapse:
    • Any sort of involuntary orgasm (wet dreams, nocturnal emissions or semen released in urine)
    • Accidentally coming across potentially pornographic or triggering material (using K9 is good for preventing this)
    • Having sex with a partner (not an issue for me anyway lol :rolleyes:)
    Anyway, as mentioned above, you have to decide if what you've done breaches your long term goals and whether or not you should reset your counter.
     
  4. Jason Bradford Smaha 2

    Jason Bradford Smaha 2 Fapstronaut

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    OK so now I want k9.
     
  5. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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  6. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    I consider a relapse to be purposely looking at porn/arousing material, entertaining sexual fantasies, reading porn, etc... or any kind of masturbation.
    If it leads to arousal or masturbation, and it's done on purpose, I consider it a relapse.
     
  7. what do you mean reading porn? its either you watch it or look at it
     
  8. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    He is referring to erotica.
     
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  9. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

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    Erotica is porn.
     
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  10. Obviously, this question was posed 2 years ago but I thought I would take a stab at it. The definitions, come down to a psychology or behavioral science definition.

    Depending on the behavior, some psychologists state that having a black or white attitude towards a behavior is best. That is, it is never okay to go back to the behavior and the person needs to abstain completely forever. This makes sense for example with drug addiction, a heroin addict should never use heroin again. This black and white attitude toward the behavior makes it easier for the person to stay on the wagon and abstain but can make it more difficult to start over if they relapse.

    In this black and white approach, reset = relapse. Never doing the behavior again is vital.

    However, for other behaviors psychologists recommend taking a more harm reduction approach. In this approach, the behavior is acknowledged to be disadvantageous and the person attempts to stop or at least lessen the behavior. This makes it easier for the person to keep getting back on the wagon of reducing the behavior but also makes it more likely they will "lapse."

    In this harm reduction approach, relapse = going back to the original behavior, reset = having a slight lapse into the behavior but overall showing improvement.
     
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  11. what is erotica ?
     
  12. Erotica is defined as such: "literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire."

    It's really popular with women, and can be with guys as well, it's essentially the reading version of Porn. If you have a really vivid imagination it describes every "act" in great detail which makes it worse. For me it's actually more addicting than watching Porn.
     
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  13. Thank you so much for this^ reconditioned mind. In supporting and advising others I use either of these approaches. :) It depends on what seems to work for them. But I had never thought to separate it out as you did. It is a validation that what I have been doing in working with others in part of a coherent and recognised approach. For me personally, I use the black and white approach. I also accept that there is a big emotional impact when I relapse. So, it is "Horses for courses". :rolleyes: :p
     
  14. hapular

    hapular Fapstronaut

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    Erotica is the script of a porn movie.
     
  15. Anything involving intentional arousal teasing like edging masturbation, or peeking all counts as resets. Involuntary things are annoying but aren't your fault so no reset necessary.
     
  16. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    My own definition I use for myself, and what seems to be most common on here, is PMO = relapse, and MO = reset. An MO binge would probably count as relapse, though. Essentially, falling back into old habits is a relapse, but otherwise voluntary setbacks are resets. Involuntary things are not included in either, but they are dangerous because they can trigger voluntary things.
     
  17. Vimalkr11

    Vimalkr11 New Fapstronaut

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    It means reading sensual book or novel.
     

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