The 2019 X90 Hard Mode High Accountability Elimination Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by I_AM_AWESOME, Dec 31, 2018.

  1. GorillaVikingwithaBLT

    GorillaVikingwithaBLT Fapstronaut

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    Haha, thanks

    New to NoFap? No, I've been "on it" since I was 18. I was able to stay away for weeks to a month until the past year. I'm very lonely and I know the thing that's holding me back is my PMO problem. It causes me to feel bad about myself and it affects my social interactions, sleep, and school performance. It's at the point where I would do it to attract women (because based on my experience, that what NoFap has done for me) to where I'm genuinely worried about my health and need to quit. So I decided to stop being too into myself and start reaching out to other people online about this problem. I want friends and romantic relationship with a woman one day, I just refuse to pursue that when I'm so into porn so I want to prove to myself that I can stay away so I can remain faithful to whoever that is. I think it's difficult because my environment. My home is very secluded (thankfully we're moving soon) and it makes me feel even more lonely so that darkness causes me to give in, thankfully it'll change sometime soon.
     
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  2. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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    Cool man! So pmo is not the source of our problems, it's a symptom of our real problem. You say you're lonely and pmo is holding you back? Would you say you're lonely so you use porn to feel better and that in turn lessens your confidence which holds you back from meeting new people?

    It's good you're seeing the big picture of how this will effect you in the long run should you continue. You're 21 now, imagine 20 years from now you're still fighting this battle. Now is the time to act and you're taking the right steps.

    Where do you live that you're secluded if I may ask?
     
  3. GorillaVikingwithaBLT

    GorillaVikingwithaBLT Fapstronaut

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    Yep, I've realized that as well. I guess I've just been really hesitant on getting started with actually taking the right steps rather than planning on it. I live in a neighborhood where it's very private and most people here are very aloof based on mine and my parents' experiences. I also live in the deep south (not originally from here) and I don't have very much in common with the majority of the people I meet. Went through my high school years in absolute isolation and because I'm still lonely, I feel like there's a part of myself that's given up and doesn't have faith that I'll ever get out of this; and then there's another part of me that's like "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT". I'm very healthy; I work out, eat very well, recently started meditating, but then there's the self-destructive/negative part of me that forces me to stay up to about 3AM and PMO; causing me to be late for my classes, be tired for the majority of the next day, increase anxiety levels, etc. If I can get rid of this addiction I KNOW everything will get better. But like you said, it's the symptom not the problem. So I'll have to go through some extra "training" :)
     
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  4. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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    Cool man, you're heading in the right direction. You should focus on the mental game of overcoming the thoughts you get when you're lonely in addition to absolutely everything you can to get some people in your life.

    This isnt just about stopping porn for you. It's about overcoming the barriers in your mind Often we think theres only 1 choice when theres usually more but we have trouble seeing them.

    Good luck
     
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  5. JustForTodayz

    JustForTodayz Fapstronaut

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    It sure does! :) For me this trip has been really good to let off some steam. Yesterday we went to the sauna wich was triggering but checking in for day 18 no problems so far
     
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  6. icelady

    icelady Fapstronaut

    Great job, you're in clean week 3 almost!
    I've hit half-way through today! Way to go :)
    @I_AM_AWESOME will you be making your round two of NoFap here?
    I also would like to ask you guys any ideas on hard mode, what to avoid and which things to watch out so that I don't miss any potentially triggering things. I think I've expressed myself clear - sometimes I struggle with English :)
     
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  7. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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    Cool man great job. It's funny those triggers, I just wrote about them in my journal. You can "reprogram" them to mean something non sexual if you want to, it just takes a little time and repetition focusing on the thing that you want it to mean.
     
  8. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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    hey, great to see you. As I said in my message to you, this thread got moved and I just now (4 pm EST) learned of its new location.
    Ideas on hard mode? Like I said in my earlier post, for me it's

    No P
    No M
    No O (unless its from my relationship)

    I'm adding in things like reviewing my goals and journal but those are more systems to get to the goals of no pmo for 90.

    As far as things to avoid, they're the standard things, watch out for anything with images like youtube, instagram, etc. For me I can be triggered by having a fight with my gf. If hours later we've not resolved it and I'm alone, that's when its very risky for me.

    What areas trigger you?
     
  9. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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  10. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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  11. GorillaVikingwithaBLT

    GorillaVikingwithaBLT Fapstronaut

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    Been sick lately and missing class because of it so I'm gonna have to buckle down on my studies soon. Usually this would set the perfect moment for to relapse but I haven't and I'm not gonna :)
    Thanks for asking, I hope you've been doing okay. Just noticed you're 91 days, that's awesome! How does it feel?
     
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  12. icelady

    icelady Fapstronaut

    Hi, checking in day 46, very busy at work - catch up later.
     
  13. JustForTodayz

    JustForTodayz Fapstronaut

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    Checking in for day 19.

    Gratz with completing your 90 day no PMO tough!! :)@I_AM_AWESOME
     
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  14. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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    thanks man, I appreciate it. Great job on 19 days!! Keep it going!

    I'm probably gonna reset my counter and restart 90 in a higher mode that is more focused on goals / systems & stopping fantasies etc.
     
  15. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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    Great job on 46 days!!
     
  16. JustForTodayz

    JustForTodayz Fapstronaut

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  17. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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    Woo hoo awesome!! Great job!
     
  18. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. My brain is wanting to look at something and I feel it. It wouldnt be porn but something else because my brain thinks that it's not porn so its ok. That's exactly the type of things I wish to stop doing in this new challenge.

    My new challenge starts now, I'll reset my counter because today is a good as day as any. I was procrastinating doing this because again my brain says "wel you've not clearly defined your goals" and then I think about that and think about how I'm not sure how to do that (even though I do).

    For me this is not viewing any thing for sexual purposes. That's like instagram, youtube, movies where something stimulating comes on and I'd instantaneously get fixated on it and as was the case the other day, rewind it and watch it again.

    Not edging or touching myself for sexual purposes

    Not fantasizing in my head

    Anyway, I'm going to work on clarifying my goals and supporting systems today but for now, I'm going to love myself more and not surf for sex

    Have a great day
     
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  19. icelady

    icelady Fapstronaut

    High-five my friend! Checking in day 47 :)
     
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  20. JustForTodayz

    JustForTodayz Fapstronaut

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    Great job everyone, keep surrendering to win.

    Checking in for 21 days.
     
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