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Thank you NoFap

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by tammygeorge, Aug 10, 2018.

  1. Aug 10, 2018 #1
    tammygeorge

    tammygeorge Fapstronaut

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    I was just answering a personal message with a friend on NoFap messenger and I told him that NoFap was the light at the end of the tunnel. You see before I was going down what I like to call the “Google Road”. Google was steering me in the wrong direction. It was either “your husband is cheating on you” OR “he’s no longer attracted to you”

    I still struggle with the “he may not be attracted to you”. I think all of us ladies on NoFap have these deep seeded thoughts. Our partners getting off unrealistic ideals of beauty. I would need a fortune to keep up with that kind of makeover.

    Communicating with porn addicted individuals or those in a relationship with one has been my saving grace and while I still feel; suicidal, depressed, sad, low-selfesteem, no way out vibes, and so on... It has made me realize. “Your husband may have a PA. This is his problem. Not yours. Your worth it. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. You are not alone in this fucked up world of addiction.”

    I hope to save my marriage and I pray for the hearts that have been broken on here. Have a wonderful weekend NoFap!
     
    tammygeorge, Aug 10, 2018
    tammygeorge, Aug 10, 2018
    #1
    Trappist, gohammswife, Jennica and 6 others like this.
  2. Aug 10, 2018 #2
    phuck-porn!

    phuck-porn! Fapstronaut

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    This. Big Truth.
    it makes all he difference...
     
    phuck-porn!, Aug 10, 2018
    phuck-porn!, Aug 10, 2018
    #2
    hope4healing, JoePineapples, EyesWideOpen and 3 others like this.
  3. Aug 11, 2018 #3
    tammygeorge

    tammygeorge Fapstronaut

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    It’s so easy to feel alone and find joy. It’s like you can’t ignore the problem. Even if I’m enjoying myself, still in the back of my head I hear; “What are you doing? Your husband doesn’t desire you. He’s having sex with himself right now. Your an idiot Tammy.”
     
    tammygeorge, Aug 11, 2018
    tammygeorge, Aug 11, 2018
    #3
    JoePineapples likes this.
  4. Sep 5, 2018 #4
    JKnight

    JKnight Fapstronaut

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    yeah it's hard, and its hard for the PA. I think that your self-pity is a little unwarranted though and I hope you realise it. Here is why. As a PA, I will attest to this and I think others will as well, but most of the time it has nothing to do with preference for porn over you. At some point there is not even much enjoyment in it.

    It's got to with the fact that (a) porn addiction, the addictive part of it has a similar potency has a heroine addiction. It's not a 'just get over it', 'show some self-control' situation. Maybe in the beginning, but not now. (b) It is done because he is compelled to it. Imagine that there is an immense pressure on your brain (that goes away if you ignore it after 5 -10 minutes but returns later but it's hard to convince yourself to let it go right now because of its strength) that will only go away and you will only feel a true release if you satisfy your craving. It's not just a release but a numbness. (b) it's mostly the path of least resistance for an instant-gratification.

    unfortunately, the result is your detriment. You are free to do as you please, to leave, to say; to your conscious regardless of the consequence to him. But if you stay and you wish to support him. It will be a lot easier for him. Try go for strong server side internet filters on the laptop and mobile phones and tablets. Minimise the opportunity for him to be exposed to porn. If he asks, I wouldn't accuse him per se, although you can, but you can casually mention some study you can find on Google about the effect of porn on a relationship and you wanted to cover your bases or something like that. It will be very suspicious if he disagrees.
     
    JKnight, Sep 5, 2018
    JKnight, Sep 5, 2018
    #4

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