templarvisonz's Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by templarvisonz, Mar 14, 2016.

  1. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    I am creating another public journal for anyone to view. I am going to post entries as replies. I am not sure if there is a better way to do this. If anyone knows of a way please let me know.
     
    mikael1 likes this.
  2. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    3/14/16

    After a few months of relapsing I am finally back. I want to beat my best of 60 days, starting with 2 weeks from yesterday for my short-term goal. My long term goal is to be done with porn and masturbating for good!

    It hasn't been easy for me last couple of months. My father passed several months back, going thru custody battle with 2 sons ( 5 and 3 years) and I deal with anxiety sometimes. It is great to be back and support is appreciated. And if anyone needs anything from me just let me know!
     
    noFapToTheFuture likes this.
  3. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    3/27/16

    I have seperate counters for M and P. I relaspe at viewing of P.

    Have done ok with P but started viewing "sexy" images and stopped before going to P.

    I did MO last couple days but am getting right back up with that!
     
  4. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    4/6/16

    I did ok for most of my goal but today I had to reset. I PMO this morning. I want to reach the goal of 2 weeks. My main goal is to not rely on PMO anymore so I'm more worried about changing the way I think than not PMO a certain number of days.
     
  5. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    4/25/16

    Doing good fighting the urges to watch P. I reached 18 days since P and I want to keep going. My new goal is to continue to 30 days. It seems keeping myself busy with other stuff in my life does help me.

    I do still have MO episodes so I am also working on that, but it is completely separate from P.
     
  6. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    5/1/16

    Almost at 30 days no P. Surprisingly, urges to view P are way down while M is manageable, still doing resets. Want to keep up no P and improve on no M. I want to say that it is great having the support on here and reading about other peoples struggles. This lets you know that you are not alone in the world with your PMO issues! Thanks everyone who shares their experiences!
     
  7. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    Had to reset today. As of today I had over a month no P and had issues with MO. Going to come back stronger and keep going until I am free of both. I always am thankful for the support here.
     
  8. Ten

    Ten Guest

    Keep trying. But learn from each fall. Don't plan or expect another. Work as hard as you can to break past whatever caused you to fall in the last run. You can do this.
     
    templarvisonz likes this.
  9. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    THanks bro. Will keep working hard. I will not plan or expect another fall but will keep up work.
     
  10. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    It's been 3 weeks since no P. It seems like it.has been forever since I saw P. I've been MO occasionally but I'm happy that I been able to fight P urges. Will continue resisting both P and MO.

    I always try to remember, "it doesnt matter how many times you fall but how many times you get up"
     
  11. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    Doing really good with no P. I haven't really had any urges to view P. On the other hand, MO has been an issue. About every 2 weeks. I definitely have more strength than I have had in a long time. Going to keep trying to resist urges to MO and not give up. Thanks everyone for support!
     
    noFapToTheFuture likes this.
  12. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    As of today, its been 72 days since I last viewed P. I am proud that I have managed to make it that long. I don't ever want to intentionally view P ever again!

    Still having problems with MO. I feel like a just got lazy about it. About 2 weeks will go by with little urges then all of a sudden urges to MO shoot up, like im on a cycle of some sort. Will definitely keep up the fight to rid myself of MO!
     
  13. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    Today has been 109 days since I viewed P or P subs. I dont ever want to view P ever again! Its been tough. I can't remember when it actually started to get easier, but what helped me alot was viewing the act of viewing P as a moral issue and viewing it would be letting loved ones down. In reality though, it really is letting them down. Viewing P is selfish in my opinion and I remember always feeling ashamed.

    Another thing that helped was keeping busy. I am a single dad with 2 boys, 6 and 4 years, so i always tried to be involved in their lives as much as possible. I also developed good habits. Reading, self-improvement in other areas of life, volunteer work (no joke), changed the way I eat to be more healthy, all of those things seemed to help me.

    MO has been an issue with me and I am continuing to fight off those urges. I had an incident this morning. I know though that I have the strength to do it. I know it doesn't matter how much you fall, but whether you will keep fighting because physically your body can overcome this.

    I appreciate the support I have on nofap. Thanks everyone.
     
    noFapToTheFuture likes this.
  14. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    In a couple months it will be the anniversary of not viewing P or P subs! Again I never want to view P ever again! I still have to work on the MO though :/ having resets every other week. I allowed myself to MO in order to ease out of viewing P, which I think was a modest move because I feel it helped me, not recommending this to anyone else.

    The challenge is on for no more MO! i know i have the strength. Thanks everyone for the support on here!
     
  15. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    Today is nearly 300 days since viewing P. I definitely know I have the strength to continue this forever! My big issue right now is with the MO. As a matter of fact I had an incident this morning.

    I am continuing to fight these urges. The reason I am ridding myself of MO is because of moral reasons. I also am reserving my energy for potential mate! ;) I really appreciate the support I have on here. Thanks everyone.
     
  16. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    Yesterday I viewed porn subs intentionally, on instagram of all places...

    I felt bad but still haven't viewed full on porn for over a year to date. I will continue to fight and hold myself to quit any form of sexual stimulation from the internet or any other source other than my significant other. Wherever she may be ;). I always appreciate the support I get from this forum. Anyone reading, continue your fight against this and don't give up!
     
  17. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

    3,046
    7,969
    143
    Your counter looks impressive! May I ask, how often are you masturbating?
     
    templarvisonz likes this.
  18. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    I find myself masturbating a couple of times week. Sometimes an entire month would go by.
     
  19. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

    3,046
    7,969
    143
    So, I was wondering what your thoughts about rebooting are. You have this massive number on your tracker, yet you have not reset it after stating...
    You are still wiring, mentally, to your hand producing orgasms for you rather than a flesh and blood partner. Thoughts? :confused:
     
    templarvisonz likes this.
  20. templarvisonz

    templarvisonz Fapstronaut

    Well my personal preference for resetting was full on porn, that was my real issue. I am disappointed though about my sub viewing.

    I used to track masturbating but I found that counter productive for me.

    I'm divorced, single dad. Looking for a mate. I've been single for going on 5 years. It is hard to do hard mode under those circumstances for me :confused: I find it challenging enough.
     

Share This Page