Talking to girls in reboot

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Irshad, Apr 9, 2018.

  1. londonguy90

    londonguy90 Fapstronaut

    Yes your right just at beginning try and limited it too less as is a trigger for me massively. I need to learn to control myself slowly.
    Irshad likes this.
  2. I would like to know why you think that Addiction of any kind is a disease of isolation. In fact it occurs to me to be true, but i would like to learn more about it.

    I wouldnt say no to talking to girls (litteraly taken), because that would make you become easily a creep - but i would avoid trying to "pick em up". Thats at least my personal programm right now...
    Irshad likes this.
  3. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    @Ridethesnake, there was an old experiment where rats were put in cages with two kinds of water sources: pure and with drugs. They preferred drugs. Then, there was a scientist which I don't remember the name of, who thought, "Maybe these rats choose drugs because they are alone in their cages, with nothing else to do." So, he put the rats into cages with other rats, and with other things to do, and again with two kinds of waters to drink. You can guess the result.

    In humans, I think that addictions are always developed in individuals who feel lonely or being otherwise isolated and suffering at the same time. Isolation can have a form of inability to be open to their family and peers. Lack of trust, lack of support, lack of acceptance, etc. Without isolation, a person can get the emotional help required to get other their problems without any "painkillers".

    With porn, that is even more obvious when you see someone like me who uses porn instead of getting intimate with real women. That's my isolation: I have poor social skills, don't know how to flirt, etc. So I ended up using the porn as a surrogate.
    Hitto and Irshad like this.
  4. so addiction is a result of a misguided try out to get connected to the world?
  5. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    I think it's a combination of isolation+problems one can't solve alone. Stress accumulates to the point when the only way to live is to use some kind of "medicine" which may eventually hurt more than what it's supposed to heal.
  6. Drugs are surely often some kind of medicine: a try out to cure oneself... If one looks at drugs and compares them to i.e. porn they have in comon that they provide direct and immediately what "you" desire. Without (litteraly) moving ones ass. We can stay passive: we dont have to risk anything... There is a social component into both: a desire for others. The drug culture: the person (girl) on the screem. One wants to get connected. If sex isnt getting connected what else? and this motivation is clearly visible too into drug-use. Not only as a means to get in touch with others (party drugs) but even "the universe itself" (LSD etc). Both are try outs to escape a loneliness.

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