Symone Journal

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by Deleted Account, Nov 18, 2018.

  1. I wanted to start this and document my thoughts through my process. I have been looking through NoFap forums for about 2 years but have never really made a full commitment. I have let 2 years go by without change, I am ready for a change. I want to be the care free girl I was before I became addicted to porn and masturbation. I have goals that I want to at least try to accomplish but I know I have to make changes to start them. I hope my journal help others out and most importantly I hope I can help myself. I will try to update daily. Today is day 4 I started November 14th and my initial goal is to make it 150 days which will lead to spring break for me April 14th.
     
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  2. Day 4: I had a wet dream last night but I am still keeping up with noFap. I am trying to get back into reading. I am going to try to read books for the rest of the day no TV or social media. I realized today that my creativity is gone and sometime I don't even know how to think for myself. When I watch YouTube I am easily swayed by the comments. To the point where I read the comments first just to understand videos. I think my empathy has gone because everything seems so impersonal and virtual.
     
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  3. Mudd007

    Mudd007 Fapstronaut

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    I wish you best of luck you are doing great just keep yourself motivated and busy please try this you will feel huge difference in yourself in very expect trust me, nov-23 will be my 4th month with no pmo & I am wayyy more confident in every expect of my life and there are many more changes that I am looking in myself.
     
  4. Freedom_lover

    Freedom_lover Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Hi Symone :)
    You mentioned something very interesting in your first post: be ready for a change. That feeling is indispensable to take abstinence seriously. This path is not easy, but it's not impossible either, you can.
    Reading other newspapers and writing in yours will help you a lot.
    I wish you all the best! ;)
     
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  5. EmmyB

    EmmyB Fapstronaut

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    Do you know what caused it? Edging? Fantasies? Hormones? Diet?
     
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  6. Day 6: Thanks everyone I was so close to giving in this morning. I realized a big trigger for me is when I am feeling lonely but don't know it. I was watching videos on YouTube about relationships and then suddenly had the urge to watch porn I didn't even feel horny. I immediately logged on here and saw you guys comments encouraging me and it helped thanks so much!!
     
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  7. I hadnt been edging or fantasising. The only thing I can think of is that I was on this site before I went to sleep and in the dream I was watching porn which is really weird.
     
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  8. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

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    Have you considered having an AP?
     
  9. Day 6 Quick Thoughts: I have not noticed any noticeable benefits yet but I have been very emotional these past few days and have become more aware of how lonely I feel. Its so easy to tell myself that family and friends is all I need when I watch porn and masturbate.Its so easy to say I don't need a man to feel complete when you have something to distract you from the emptiness you feelnat night. I hate to admit this but I want to be in love again. I am/was the kind of girl who prides herself on not needing to be with someone. My friends and family think I have it all figured out and its so great that I don't have to be in a relationship like other girls my age. Honestly I am no different from other girls my age I want love and to be loved. I want to find my soulmate who will be mine and I'll be there's. Its so funny how "basic" I am once all the distractions are gone. This is a good thing though I need to feel all of this and stop feeling numb to really make some changes.
     
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  10. What is that?
     
  11. EmmyB

    EmmyB Fapstronaut

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    I used to think we don't need partners, or men at all. Toys and fingers, plus hookups would do, I thought. Now I know I want and need a life's partner, my future husband, the father of my future children. I am abstaining for a year so I end my dependency on clitoral orgasm so I instead feel the need for a deep spiritual and physical connection with a man via vaginal penetration within marriage. Anything else is a poor substitute.
     
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  12. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Welcome!
    Glad you're here. I believe you will be able to break free :)
     
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  13. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

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    AP means Accountability Partner. Basically you find someone who is facing similar problems and you share it with eachother and you are accountable to each other. So it makes it easy for us to stay in streak and not relapse.
     

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