Sun_shine’s reboot log - f 27

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by Sun_shine, Aug 27, 2018.

  1. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Hi Sunshine,
    One of our best allies in this battle is a good optimistic attitude. You can try again and succeed don't get discouraged. You have shown great discipline you can do it again :)
     
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  2. Sun_shine

    Sun_shine Fapstronaut

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    Day 10

    The relapse did hit me hard , I felt quite low bouts of shame . I don’t want pmo to be my only form of intimacy it was an escape from actual intimacy in a relationship shame from getting into one and to hide away from issues within myself .

    I’m currently ovulating so the urges are strong so I want to stay focussed , I’m at a level where negative feelings after the relapse are gone . Strong willpower did help me complete my longest streak . That alone cannot be the answer as being careless about triggers not being as disciplined about the nf process and excess energy which I couldn’t deal with led me to relapsing .

    I am reading up more regularly on here , unfollowed a few people on social media which are triggers . Even when reading the news I’m more careful . Certain pics and articles can be triggering .

    After my p relapse of three months I noticed I was looking at pictures or people in a ‘inappropriate ‘ way not intentionally but that’s how my brain was reacting to the p relapse.

    Having an intimate relationship with a partner is important to me and hopefully having kids rather then pmo ing by myself !

    I’m also eating a lot of sugar so don’t know if that will contribute to the urges .

    I am planning on continuing with gym , reading up and understanding more about the recovery process and urges etc .
     
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  3. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Good job on your streak, I hope you be able to keep strong. From what I've heard sugar actually increases your sex drive, so it may be a good idea to lay it off for a while. Though I have no concrete evidence and I've been wrong before. Feel free to be skeptical.
     
  4. Sun_shine

    Sun_shine Fapstronaut

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    Thanks I think so too with sugar I do get a lot of cravings .
     
  5. Sun_shine

    Sun_shine Fapstronaut

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    If stuff happens with a partner is that considered a relapse I did o and I feel dreadful right now as if I have relapsed :/ confused as to whether it’s moral guilt or because I did o and that’s a trigger ... I think I should reset my counter I just felt crashing low again for some reason :( ...
     
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  6. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    It depends on what your goals are. If your goal is complete celibacy then that would make it a reset. However, if you are avoiding O from the result of PM then I'd say you are good. I've seen many rebooters practice abstinence from PM while still being intimate with a partner.

    It all just depends on what you feel.
     
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  7. Prov2416

    Prov2416 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it depends on your goals.

    I think for me the biggest thing is identifying what is precipatating the urges.

    I am a married man, but this morning and last night my urges are through the roof. Spoke to my wife about it this morning and we agreed to have sex this afternoon......

    But in the meantime, I realized I have been STUDYING like crazy for a test I need to take before the end of the year. That is what is influencing me as well because I have alot of stress and tension around it.

    Thise emotions tend to be triggers for me. I am learning instead of trying to press them down or make them go away.....I let them run their course, while doing things constructive like coming to this site.....reading the Bible, or playing video games.

    Stay encouraged and motivated. It's a marathon not a sprint.
     
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  8. Prov2416

    Prov2416 Fapstronaut

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    In an attempt to stay accountable and to encourage you.... I have had a rough 24 hours.

    I am preparing to take this test in the next 2 and a half hours and my stress is high.

    This morning I went to take a shower and I began to edge. I was shocked though because it takes alot of stimulation as I have not been doing M. Eventually though, I started to get aroused and at that point the thought went through my mind "I don't care!".

    I actually caught myself as I realized I actually do care and stopped immediately. Whew!

    So yeah stress can bring out the worse but if you practice and setup good contingencies we can be fine. My wife is on her period so there will not be sex for a few days.

    So that is where I am at. Having a rough time but still maintaining.

    How are things going for you?

    Let us know and continue to keep up your diary. Remember, stress can be a VERY POWERFUL trigger.
     
  9. Sun_shine

    Sun_shine Fapstronaut

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    Thanks it can leave us feeling that’s the only way out . Especially when the energy is so pent up . That’s good you never gave in . I am on day 11

    The last time I relapsed I couldn’t sleep couldn’t think straight , then I binged and I remember the crashing low after .

    I have been flatlining , I considered the encounter with my partner a relapse because the o didn’t just happen naturally imo it was a reset . There’s been a time before where it did and I didn’t consider it a reset , if that makes sense lol ...


    Right now I haven’t really been focusing on triggers as I’m pretty much flatlining , but I am continuing to read up . I am careful with my triggers so any pics on social media I’m careful of , there’s still so much triggers around with sexualised images , I’m going to try not to fall into the trap of being too complacent.

    Stay focussed you’re doing great , I do believe there has to be an outlet when overcoming this addiction , going for a walk , finding something g to do , cold showers something I may consider trying .


     
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  10. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry to hear you've been having a difficult time, but at least it seems your know what to look out for. A+!
     
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  11. Sun_shine

    Sun_shine Fapstronaut

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    Day 52

    My longest streak so far . I have not had much triggers to overcome at all and tbh these 52 days have gone smoothly the first week was probably the hardest if that . I do not want to become complacent with my thoughts about p and the negative effects both can bring it is like a drug can lure you in inplanning on reading up more about the negative effects . I have made my mind up that pmo especially mo which I struggled with since the age of 12 is not the life I want .
     
  12. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Hope all is well Sunshine, congrats on 60 days :)
     
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  13. Sun_shine

    Sun_shine Fapstronaut

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    Day 76

    I have not been on here since my last post . The journey has been pretty smooth , I’ve been ovulating and that’s been a big trigger for me . Today I just could not stop the sexual thoughts and just thought what’s the point of waiting until marriage and just give in . I am staying strong and not letting the day counter and my longest streak fool me and the way the addiction process works with pmo.

    I am seeing my partner in a few days and last time I relapsed was because I od due to physical stimulation no penetration I remember the shame the low feelings after I did o and how I just wanted to stay away I felt awful guilt the lowest in a long time . I just think if things do get carried away I am not going to let it get carried that far . I think any sort of contact with the hands on the clit could be a major trigger and make me crave for mo and even p . I will have to be strong saying no to O’ ing. but I can do this and just sit in the urges until they pass . When I do have sex I want to o through Piv . I don’t know if it will happen but I think chasing os just makes you crave it and avoid intimacy .
     
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  14. Sun_shine

    Sun_shine Fapstronaut

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    Thank you
     
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  15. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Good job with keeping such a wonderful streak going! I'm glad to hear that things have been going well for you. Keep fighting through the urges!

    I also think it's good to hear that you've restated what you want out of intimacy. Sure it'd be easier to just not wait and go crazy with someone, but nothing worth having comes easy!

    Good luck!
     
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  16. Sun_shine

    Sun_shine Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your support . We do have to be very mindful no matter how long the streak has been .
     
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