Success at last- Don't Ever give up (PIED Cured)

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by ironman_1839, Dec 7, 2015.

  1. ironman_1839

    ironman_1839 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone

    The journey that I began more than a year ago seems to have paid off. A few days ago, I succeeded in getting a strong erection and had sex using a condom until i ejaculated. I've had sex with the same girl twice since, and my conviction that i am cured has only grown. I will start with a background of my own story and finish by listing some tips that led to my success. I'm an 18 year old guy, who has experienced ED, DE and increasingly extreme fetishes since i can remember. I first watched porn when I was 12, and continued to escalate to chatroulette, bondage and fetish porn for the next few years. When i reached high school, my first few sexual experiences left my confused and unsatisfied. Initially, i just experienced DE from blow jobs and handjobs, which i made a variety of excuses about but never really got to cause of. My sophomore year, when i first started trying to have sex with my girlfriend, i couldn't get a boner on four different occasions, and panic ensued. The relationship ended, and my entire school made fun of me about the incident. My confidence with girls was absolutely shattered, and i fell into a deep depression. In the fall of my junior year, i stumbled onto YBOP. Although i initially couldn't believe that cutting out masturbation could solve my problems, i had no other options and started a reboot. My first four months were a rocky experience, my PMO-free streaks were only days at a time and my relapses always turned into all-out porn binges. This was the hardest period of my life, my parents seperated, i had to switch schools and i went months without even kissing a girl. I was so tempted to simply let porn block out all my problems, like i had so many times in the past. However, i found the motivation to use these tough times as the impetus for personal growth. I began lifting weights, reading books before i went to bed and quit taking Adderall. I also became serious about NoFap, watching hours of videos, reading tons of posts and installing porn blockers on my computer. After i became serious, progress became better; i was still relapsing but my streaks kept increasing in length. My first big hard mode streak was 50 days, but my heart was broken when i relapsed into a nasty three day porn binge. I managed to pick myself up afterwards with new found resolve, and managed to reach the coveted 90 day hard mode. After finishing this, i thought my problems were behind me. However, i made the huge mistake of starting to masturbate before I could test my progress with a girl, and i ended up slipping into yet another porn binge. After i faltered, i came incredibly close to giving up all together. I couldn't believe my months of hard work had not cured me, and began to believe that my problems were not fixable. Something inside of me refused to give up however, and i decided to cut out porn and MO indefinitely. This final time felt different, and after a few months i deleted the old crutch of porn blockers and my confidence with girls returned for the first time in years. I came close a few times to relapse, but i remembered that sick feeling i felt every time i gave in to my demons. After 4 months of this, I had a completely unexpected and incredible experience. A girl who i met at a party the night before messaged me on Facebook and invited me to come over. When i got there, we hooked up, she blew me a little bit and then told me she wanted me to fuck her. For the first time in my life, i did not bring my outside nerves in, and just let myself get caught up in the moment. I became fully hard when i put the condom in, and penetrated. The first seconds i was inside her made every miserable day fighting porn worth it. The feeling of euphoria i felt is almost indescribable, i came in literally ten seconds but laughed it off. A minute later, i became hard and penetrated again. This time i lasted for 6 or 7 minutes, and made her cum. I have successfully had sex with her again the last couple days, and i have experienced no problems. My message to all those reading this is simple, no matter how bleak it looks, you must look ahead to the light at the end of the tunnel. The high i have no is greater than any drug on the planet, it goes beyond the physical pleasure of sex, or the sense of relief i feel that i can finally have a healthy relationship with a girl; the confidence i feel from overcoming this addiction makes me feel like i can move mountains.

    Tips from my journey:
    Use porn blockers as an initial crutch, but delete them when you feel ready. This was a major step for me.

    Relapses creep up slowly, usually starting with the seemingly innocent act of looking at a picture of a hot girl, using tinder or going on omegle. This micro-relapses almost always escalate to full out binges. To successfully battle porn, you can not give up an inch.

    Start lifting weights and reading books. The since of betterment you feel will help you overcome depression. Also, lifting weights allows you to release pent up energy and frustration while reading books satisfies the need for stimulation which leads you to porn in the first place

    Find someone to talk to. One of my best friends has been my confidant, cheerleader, drill sergeant throughout. Without him i never could've found the strength to complete this journey. Another one of my friends is about to start trying to quit porn, and i plan on helping him along the way.

    Above all: Never, ever, ever give up. No matter how measly your progress might seem, or how little results you see after 90 days of hard mode, you must not give in. Every day you fight your addiction makes it a little weaker. This journey is not an easy one, but it is worth it.
     
    Bman101, 0Cool0, ALEX_88 and 32 others like this.
  2. britaxe

    britaxe Fapstronaut

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    It's the only way to go i think. There's no turning back for me now. I'd done with it the day i arrived here. I have an AP i message daily he's an ex-addict himself so is totally on my level. THIS REALLY HELPS... both of us. Relapse after relapse after relapse i had over the years. It's a great feeling to feel clean and have a clean mind free of sex ALL the time. I fucked my brain up over so many years and i'm ready to repair it to do what i should have done years ago... focus on women not on images of them.
     
    Saskia, Shamrocker and im_alive like this.
  3. AnotherNewbie

    AnotherNewbie Fapstronaut

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    This was a super inspirational post. I really hope you'real a real person and not someone working for the website, because I've had some very similar issues and hoping for the exact same type of success as you. Thanks for sharing.
     
  4. travelling fapstronaut

    travelling fapstronaut Fapstronaut

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    Great post and well written. Congratulations on your success brother. People like you give myself and others such a confidence boost, couldnt be more pleased for you mate, keep it up
     
  5. cud

    cud Fapstronaut

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    Great post,


    looking forward to write similar post in a while ;)
     
    Striker97 likes this.
  6. Keemo

    Keemo Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, I needed this so much. And I'm amazed at how brilliant you are for your age, this is fantastic.
     
  7. digitalfloyd

    digitalfloyd Fapstronaut

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    Congrats man! Wish i would have had your determination at that age. Your doing the right thing. I am 28 and have wasted the last 10 years of my life to PMO with very little interaction with real females. My health has suffered as well. Im only telling you this to stress how important it is to keep at it and never give up! Your a champ bro!
     
  8. Phallosopher

    Phallosopher Fapstronaut

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    Congrats dude. I'm on my way in that direction and have definitely experienced that awesome "I'm done with this shit forever" feeling. I was wondering, how many days in did you reach certainty that you were cured of PIED? And was it the moment you succeeded with that girl or was it before? I have had a few instances where I thought I was totally cured of it, and circumstances are definitely improving... but there are days I wake up with weak morning wood or only get half hard when I see a hot girl or something, and then I worry. However, even that is an improvement because at my worst I couldn't get hard from just visual.

    Anyway again, congrats brother. It's great to see someone a step ahead and loving it. See you at the finish line if there is one.
     
  9. Carl Williams

    Carl Williams Fapstronaut

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    Hey Ironman_1839,
    this is exactly what I was looking for! I have my own journal which you can refer to below which details my history of chronic masturbation and severe ED due to webcam sex which began on sites like you mentioned and fetish porn. My fetishes include cuckold porn and humiliation porn. Did you suffer from similar fetishes? I completed the 90 day challenge a year ago before attempting to have sex with a prostitute and I couldn't get hard at all :mad:! This lost my faith in nofap :oops: and I relapsed for the next 6 months. I'm back now and am attempting nofap again.

    The problem with a guy like me is I have never had a girlfriend or hooked up with a girl; all my sexual encounters (8-9 times) have been with sex workers; and during my relapse period they included sex workers from the bdsm industry (I tried to recreate my porn fantasies with these workers but even then I couldn't get hard). I feel that if I can have sexual encounter with a girl I love (and therefore have emotional intimacy) and not stoop to the pathetic level of hiring a prostitute (who obviously I have no emotional intimacy with) to test my limp dick out then I might have more of a chance of getting over my ED.
    But then again I have never had a girlfriend which had led me to having a low self esteem; I have never hooked up with a girl at a club or never been contacted from a girl after a party (like in your scenario).

    Your story however does inspire me :):) greatly due to the similarity in our porn histories, yet you seem like a decent looking guy who can get a girl, unlike me :(

    Good Luck Brother
    Carl Williams
    Williams Family
     
  10. FreedomIsHere

    FreedomIsHere Fapstronaut

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    Congrats man, keep up all the success you've had now! It's awesome to see you overcome your past.
     
  11. ironman_1839

    ironman_1839 Fapstronaut

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    I knew i was cured for sure when i woke up the morning after my first successful sexual experience after my reboot. I woke up feeling the most relaxed and happiest i can remember feeling. Real sex was so much more meaningful then anything i ever got from porn, and after experiencing it i knew i never needed to go back
     
  12. BigBlue82

    BigBlue82 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I'm glad I ran into this post. I''ve been looking for someone with a similar story as mine. I'm in the final stages of where you were. I gave porn up a year ago and have had few relapses. I'm more active than I've ever been both in the gym and in life. I am now PM free and though I've seen some progress over the past year (being able to have sex with my now ex girlfriend), lately the ED is as bad as when I began. I'm porn free, but I feel totally unrewired and I have no libido. But, I'm not giving up hope. I'm praying for the same experience you had one day. All I want is for my dick to work and to get horny... alas... soon.
     
  13. Pursuit_of_happiness

    Pursuit_of_happiness Fapstronaut

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    Me too man!
    I am on streak about 210 days. Had a few relapses , a couple times of sex.
    I have huge motivation to grow and high level of energy!
    Keep it up!
     
  14. Pursuit_of_happiness

    Pursuit_of_happiness Fapstronaut

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    Wheb do you think the libido will cone back?
     

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