Hi team, Sorry if this is long-winded, I find my thinking is quite clouded right now with emotion and the challenge of nofap. Possibly the most difficult thing I have attempted in my life by far. About two months ago my GF and I broke up when she caught me cheating and found out about my years of lying in order to conceal my PMO addiction. It is painfully clear to me how deeply I have hurt a truly wonderful person by way of my lies, PMO, and having also taken my addiction even further, going offline and into "real life." I profoundly never want to hurt anyone in this way again. Things are messy with her and there is ambiguity as to if she wants to try things again. At the same time the "other" woman is also interested in picking things up in a meaningful way. Regardless, what you may judge in her part in this with me, she is a wonderful, very human person, deserving of compassion and respect. Since everything went down, I have come clean about my PMO addiction to both of them as an effort to begin living more honestly and constructively. On top of the pain of truly finally acknowledging my addiction, this particular aspect of the situation has made me realize I have powerful feelings now that I don't deserve to be with either of them or even anyone else anymore. I don't trust myself to not repeat hurtful behavior while I don't have a better handle on my PMO situation. I know I need to heal myself and find my own sense of self worth before I can be anything to anyone in an intimate way again. But these feelings of not deserving to have a loving partner anymore can feel so crushing and discouraging, and really make my mission of sticking with nofap so much more agonizing. Any thoughts on how to reframe this thinking pattern more positively? I do meditate twice a day and that helps more than a little, but doesn't get me there all the way. Any advice is appreciated.