Struggling, day 13

If you want to get maximum support, then consider helping others who are also struggling.

You didn't ask, but I thought you might want to know that edging will make this process much harder, as will just looking at P. That also goes for sexy music videos, or facebook pictures, or anything like that (we call these things "P subs")

 

Hi 7, Gopher is right. In order to completely reboot you have to get your dopamine levels back down to preporn levels. For a porn addict, and forgive me but I am going to presume you are one if you, like I, went years abusing porn, little things trigger dopamine release, such as edging. Just thinking about sex triggers dopamine release. So, when you edge, unless you are thinking of making and eating a tossed salad (as opposed to something sexual) you are still triggering dopamine release. When quitting, porn addicts, sadly, cannot have their cake and eat it too. You have to clear out all sexual thoughts for 30-60, sometimes up to 90, at which point your dopamine levels will be back down and you will be past the worst of the withdrawals. Remember, edging is a no no, but so are a lot of other things that invoke hypersexualized thoughts. Even more than before the addiction, an addict coming down can trigger on just about any thing but tossed salad. I don't even let myself think about casseroles. OK, lame humor, but you get the idea. Keep sex out of your head for a while, let your dopamine levels drop. Don't keep finding reasons to keep them high.

Peace.

PS: What I know about quitting. Hope it helps.

http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2402-Get-educated-get-tools-and-learn-to-love-withdrawals

 

Hi 7, yes. That is hard to do I know.

In the middle of my addiction I had to have porn with my coffee just to tell myself I was waking up, so I do know.

Also, when I was first beginning I made the rookie mistake of thinking that just because I was not PMOing, but was only watching porn or only MOing separately, I was making progress, but I was not. What I did not understand then was that our brain's chemical reward center releases dopamine to sexual thoughts of just about any kind, especially when quitting. A guy in the middle of his addiction needs hardcore imagery to get that dopamine rush, but a guy who is quitting can trigger on a pretty girl walking down the streets, bikini pics, cheerleaders. Not fair, I know.

You have to make a conscious decision and choice not to indulge in sexual thoughts or imagery in your head. You have to find a way to distract yourself. I actually just repeat no, no, no a half dozen times when something like that wants to come it, and it this point is is fairly easy to avoid that. Doing this is very important initially, until you get your dopamine levels back down to "normal". At that point, if you are lucky, you will only trigger on what you are supposed to trigger on--a real woman.

Peace.

 

Hi hi,
At the moment I´m, on day six, but I made it 30+days in the past and I know, edging is just transfering the addiction to a seemingly lower Level. I´m also a clean drug addict and I compare it with smoking pott instead of taking cocaine ;-)
I made the mistake on my 30+journey to consume "harmless" pictures instead of hardcore videos, but it was a big mistake. It´s compareable to an alcohol addict who just drink 12 drops of beer a day. He´ll never get clean completely and the risk of relapse is enormously.
This time I made a good preparation before I started my journey. I installed the K9 safety software and in my mind that is very helpful for me.
It´ll always give you a sign if you want to enter sites with sex on it. Also youtube. You can open it with a password but you have a little break where you can think about really needing it. I often consume TV or Internet just of boredom. That´s also a big mistake in my case.
I start to fantasize until normal series like scrubs, Big Bang Theory etc. My addiction always find a reason to act out if I don´t change my behaviour I´m used to.
To share here and in a self help group helps a lot. I´m also working with the 12steps-system by anonymous alcoholics. It´s good for every kind of addiction.
I hope you can convert your goal not to edge. I pray for you.
bye

 

Yup. EVERYONE of my relapses in the last month of started with casual edging. William is right too, in a full on relapse I need to find the stuff, but a few days into my streak and every girl I see looks hot. I wonder what a normal brain feels like?

 

Hi everybody,

I'm not into porn a lot, and can stay away easily from it...

But, seeing sexy images, or certain fetishs excite me a lot...is this part of the addiction?

I mean, i have desire when i see someone who attracts me...

But do i need to stay away from sexy images? Is it releasing dopamine when i look at images and get turned on?

Thank you for your responses...

 

I mean is it normal to fantasazing about someone or to get turned on by something specific?

Because when you fantasize about someone for example, it means you have desire...so this is good no?

 

I guess my fantaisies and fetishs are wrecking my brain, i guess that to reboot, i don't have to let my fantaisies and fetishs stay into my brain...

That explains why i can't cum with someone...even i'm hard all the time, i can't cum, or after a very long time, and if i think about something that turn me on...

Means it's worst than i thought for me lol...

Althought i get attracted to people...

Guess i have to make that reboot...

Sorry for the consecutives posts...good luck guys!

 

Keep this mindest. My hands will not go on my penis. And just deal with it because you know what you want and you know what you don't want. As long as you remember your a guy who doesn't masturbate you will be a guy who doesnt masturbate.

 

I also find that the big danger is sexualised thoughts trying to get into my head. One thing which helps is to say a little mantra to myself over and over. Doesn't have to be a spiritual thing, mine aren't, but just a couple of sentences you can repeat and repeat will help crowd out other thoughts. We're men, we can't do two things at once - in this case, it's to our advantage ; )