Struggle of my life

Hello. Soon to be 17 here. I just wanted to say that I really empathize with you and the situation you're in is pretty shitty. I've also had the same problem with not being able to open up, and in my case, it was because I've never felt loved and accepted. When people who are like that came into my life, it's changed. I, however, still feel very lonely and alone, and I sometimes want to punch, kick, burn, and beat those feelings to death. I realize that it's however normal to feel the way I feel, there's nothing wrong with feeling that way and I should accept it.
That was a little off-topic. The point is, it will stop. You will find people with whom you can share deep stuff. My relationship with my father sucks very much, with my mom it's a little better but I still talk to her very rarely about deep stuff. I was able to first open up to people from the NoFap support group that I belong into. I like to think it's because they put themselves out there, shared something and I felt so accepted because I wasn't a freak anymore, they had the same problems as I did, which gave me a deep sense of belonging and of not feeling as weird anymore.
I encourage you to do that. To find people who are not afraid to share. Or rather who are afraid, but they still share. And then they'll hear you out. If you feel like it, I'm here to hear you out. I'm one click away, just send me a private message. Sending you much love. You'll make it.

 

Don't allow the fear of the unknown to keep you in your current situation. You only think you will run out of thingds to say with a girl. You forget, it's a conversation and both people talk. She may more to say than you and thus you become a good listener. Your father may live to hear you go to him with your issue because it will take his mind from his liver cancer.

 

I would put too much pressure on myself and tried to socialize. Eventually i became like a servant who would please everyone just cause i wanted to be with them. But now i realize it's okay to be unsocial. I dont feel guilty at not having too many facebook friends, or not having too many birthday wishes.

Everyone is different and social is just a quality. Some people are good at making friends, some are good at studies, some are athletic, some are good at learning a new hobby, some are funny, some are good at technology.

maybe find a hobby and you will meet people of similar hobby. it's all right to have less friends. rather be alone than be uncomfortable with people around.

 

Just remember this thing buddy, "Everything passes away, nothing stays." So, these bad moments which feel very hard will also pass eventually. Just hold your ground and have belief in yourself. I know it's easier said than done. But, this is the harsh truth. You are not alone my little brother in this journey. A lot of people in this world have gone through really bad times, and they have come out it when everybody believed they would never. If they can change their life, why can't you? You can, and you will. How? I can't answer it for you. The answer is within you and you will find it at the right time. Just hold your ground and don't lose hope brother. We are with you. Be strong. Rise and shine.

 

Most of us have a fear of failure when it comes to talking to other people and especially those with whom we have interest but that's why it is so important to face your fears early because those fears can be much more difficult to face as you get older.