Strange sexual behavior/addiction/kink

ecosys · Apr 18, 2014

I suffer from an in my opinion very odd sexual behavior bordering on addiction. You read often about people who are dependent on masturbation , porn , or to show their private parts in front of other people in the chats and so on.

I am dependent on having my appearance rated and what gives me the large scale excitement is when people of the opposite sex ( girls ) do not think I'm attractive, downright ugly. It manifests itself in that I can sit on various internet sites and write questions like " how hot I am on a scale ," etc. , even in the context chat with webcam plugged am I asking these questions. It's only when I get " dissed " I feel the excitement, the ones that says i am attractive are not interesting . I've had these tendencies since his early teens , guess it's some sort of verbal machosism .

Since I moved into my own apartment , however, the behavior escalated and I can sit for hours (4-5 at a time ) only to seek out people to ask those questions. The more attractive I think people are, the more excited I get the idea that they does not feel the same about me. As it is something I really want but can not get. type .

It's all about internet connection, although I sometimes get me to ask girlfriends and acquaintances similar things, then over the internet. I have read about people who are addicted to porn and masturbation , this is like the only thing I think of when im home alone in the apartment is to get involved with this and my everyday life is suffering now , get less done at home etc . It always ends with me masturbating and reach orgasm but then I had already been sitting for several hours, so it's not the orgasm itself I seek , rather arousal before . If it only was orgasm i seek for I had been able to do it quickly but now other things will suffer.

I need help but do not know what is wrong with me having these absurd fantasies and im about to develop a dysfunctional behavior. Thinking about terminating the internet but it 's not gonna work since you need internet for other things.

Do i need to treat this behavior with the same methods that some people treat porn addiction? Cause this seems much more difficult to stay away from than just porn, since i constantly use social networks for many things in my life.

(English is not my native language so i'm sorry for bad spelling)

iwanttobemyoldselfagain · Apr 18, 2014

I think this is another way of trying to put yourself down and feeling aroused in the process, like the master slave porn or humiliation porn. I really think you should start with completely stopping chatting to people about these things and also PMO. Maybe youhave some uunderlying issues which cause you to seek this kind of excitement but you'll find that stopping porn and sex chatting, even for a week will make a significant difference and then you can start working on your self esteem and body image issues. If it still persists, maybe you need professional help but you should try all this first I think. I'm saying this coz there are many people here, somewhat also including me, who have indulged in the kind of behaviour and habits on the Internet which they would never in real life. They have found such things arousing which would ordinarily disgust them. After just a few days of abstaining from sexual stimulation and porn and M, they have felt clarity in their minds about themselves and their personality. Maybe that's the case with you too. So quit PMO, see if it helps. I hope you find your answers. All the best.

JohnnyTheFox · Apr 18, 2014

I have come across this sort of thing before and it can be a powerful dynamic on the sexual spectrum of behaviours. Usually, I have seen it with reference to 'small penis humiliation'. Ironically, guys with a tiny dick can derive great pleasure from being the butt of others' jokes. My guess is that this would often be rooted in childhood scenarios - not sexual necessarily. Let's say you desperately needed the love and attention of your father. But he criticised you endlessly about your appearance and everything else. Perhaps you are looking to find that same situation now your father has gone. You pick the sexual exposure because it brings back the feelings you had before more clearly. This is all conjecture of course. But it may help you to understand how seemingly unrelated things can show up in our sexual behaviour. The fact that it takes so long perhaps indicates that you are 'edging' to maximise the pleasure when you orgasm.

ecosys · May 6, 2014

Thanks for the answers. Really appreciate it. I will write an longer post when im at a computer, hard to do it on the phone.

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Strange sexual behavior/addiction/kink

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