Straight guy addicted to gay porn

I'm proud of you for joining NoFap and releasing yourself from the hold porn has held in your life, however, are you sure this is the complete analysis of your situation?

I can understand easily that when you were younger you were addicted to porn and began to develop fetishes, I did the same. However, from migrating from an assurance that you had always been straight to being alarmed at the fact that you yourself were watching gay porn may develop a barrier in your mind and defence against it. I don't know you or how open of a person you are but it can always be alarming for your definition of yourself to change. That night you were out at a party and that other potentially gay guy came closer to you, are you sure you weren't afraid of the gay porn you were addicted to?

Fantastic job on 80 days with your recovery!

 

@OP don't worry, you had some kind of mild PMO induced HOCD. Rebooting is the right thing to do, there's a ted talk on YouTube about how overusage of P can mess with your tastes after a while.

I also watched P during all my teen years and looking back it kept on escalating and escalating... I'm positive that rebooting fixes it.

Good luck on your journey!

 

I recently destroyed my webcam on my laptop cause i had an addiction to using omegle and looking for cybersex with girls. My searches would go on for hours like from 1AM to 12PM!!! I got so bad i started jacking off with guys on there and Im straight..... After every session i would regret it. Yesterday i did it again and after i finished i got very upset at myself. So i took a screw driver, a screw and a knife and destroyed the cam until the driver completely broke. I made sure to leave a nice hole at the top where the cam used to be so that i would remember never to do it again and to add fuel to my willpower.

 

That makes sense, thanks for clarifying.

I do also agree with jest and that Ted talk that porn can mess with your tastes. Likely what it is. NoFap has solved more problems than I thought it would when I first started, I hope you reach the same feeling!

 

The sex drive is there for reproduction [ or so I assume, safe bet though] but you can manipulate it. You manipulate it when you masturbate, you manipulate your sex drive and your mind when you watch porn. The point I'm getting at is the orientation business[born that way, cannot change] is rather new and maybe it's wrong. In which case that makes porn and jacking off and of course extreme kinds of porn all the more dangerous.

 

The straight-guy-looking-for-gay-dudes issue is merely a means to get your rocks off. Gay dudes are a promiscuous bunch and it's easy and free to get some action. It's the equivalent sexually as using a mechanical massager, or other such device. It doesn't mean anything except you're sex craved to the point of doing really disgusting things.

 

This site is perfect I been going thru some similar things....

 

The brain is plastic.

That's why there is such a thing as brainwashing.

People can be made to believe anything with the right stimulus.

 

I get that one all the time. "c'mon just watch a lil porn u don't need to jerk off" and then it ends up being a 4hr session..

 

same here

 

Sexuality desire and sexual orientation is fairly elastic. There's probably very few people who are 100% straight or 100% gay. Most human beings fit someone along a spectrum. But the porn addicts need for more and more diverse sexual stimuli to achieve arousal often lead him into areas that formerly may have been taboo for him--i.e., gay, fetish, S&M porn, or even illegal stuff like child porn. That's the real danger of porn addiction.

It is possible that you are in fact bi (The fact that you were uncomfortable with the guy who may have been hitting on you at the party proves nothing)...But it could also simply be that your brain is seeking out new and novel types of stimuli to get off on. Today that means gay porn, but tomorrow?????

 

I have a gay furry / gay porn addiction. Im am ashamed of it, I am a Christian and trying to walk right with God. I am straight but every time I fall, I go back to what gets me off. When starting out I was watching normal porn (still bad), but throughout elementary through high school I was always called gay and subconsciously started believing it. I told my dad about my addiction with being gay, and was happy that he went through the same thing and is helping me out through this.

Towards the end in college, there was this older guy who I never knew was gay, he never came off as one. He was in the military, had a wife and two kids (left them from what I found out). Anyway, why I'm bringing him up is because when I graduated thats when I realized he liked me, made a move and I was pretty much shocked by it.

After graduating, I've been looking for work and dealing with this porn addiction. I would go nights on end (took a year to get over) just thinking about the guy at graduation. By the time I finally got over him, was the same time I found out he was working at a local store. Nothing but butterflies in my stomach when I saw him. All he could say was "do you remember me?"

I want to meet him again, both wanting to hug him and kick him in the throat. I know its not his fault, and all I'm doing is venting cause I didn't really tell anyone about this, let alone being gay porn. I thought about going to an AA meeting and having straight friends. Or be a third wheel just to get some type of influence in my life just for the support, and thought I'd look online to help get to the root of the problem. ( Sorry for the long posting.)

 

This is something that I've been struggling with. I started out in middle school liking these girls I knew, but probably didn't like me back. Always had low self esteem, but was always checking girls out. But because of my fear of rejection, I turned to porn, and it was always straight porn, sometimes lesbian porn and I always got off to it. But then u realized that it might be the way that I look. I was always chubby and made fun of for having man boobs, so I thought if I looked like the guys in porn then maybe girls would like me. Bad idea. Started watching gay or bi porn and since then, I get off to both men and women having sex with each other with same or opposite sex scenes. I became Christian and have wanted to grow my relationship with God, but I knew I was always in uncomfortable watching gay porn, I was just jealous of how these guys looked. I still watch gay, straight and lesbian porn (not so much gay porn anymore because I don't have as much of a desire for it), but I've started getting into shape and that's boosted my confidence. But even though I'd always check girls out (still do), I would check guys out not out of a place of sexual attraction (people used to bully me because I haven't dated before and told me I was gay for it, but I had always been secure in my sexuality before that happened, so I at least thought I was but, but after a month or two of that, I didn't have the same feelings for men that I did women), but out of a place of "I wish I looked like that". I've wanted to have sex with a woman, and I was jealous of other men for looking better/more manly than me. I masturbate once or twice daily out of habit but I'm hurting, my confidence hurts, my anxiety and depression are killing me. I need help.

 

I had/ having a very similar experience mine was more porn induced though. I too have low self confidence and have always liked girls. However, I didn't start off with straight porn. I started off with gay porn because I saw it somewhere. I watched it for about 1 year and a half until I fully understood what I was watching. When I fully understood what I was watching, I felt disgusting, horrible, confused, torn, and depressed. I never have been attracted to males in or outside of porn. I have only been aroused by gay porn. The interesting is, I didn't like anal stuff, I only got aroused to oral/solo. Note that I use past tense. I have never really watched a ton of straight porn. Until lately. But I think I know what has happened in both your and in my cases. You and I are not gay. What happened is what your brain got used to the dopamine levels from pornography. You probably turned to lesbian/gay porn like me because it was new/risky and unknown. More like curiosity. It's good you stopped watching gay porn. I recently stopped too. When I watched it, it constantly made me question my sexuality because my body was aroused by it. Side note, your body gets aroused by it not because of attraction, but because you see other people aroused and excited causing your brain to signal your body. I do not have a desire for gay porn since I have stopped. I felt much better since I have stopped because I realize I'm not gay. I do the exact same thing with looking at some guys and Ill think I wish I was more attractive. Maybe a girl would ask me out then. But we have to realize that's not healthy and not rational. I would actually encourage you to stop watching all porn for maybe just a few days and see how you feel. Maybe just try thinking about it and see if that has the same effect. If it doesn't, you probably should take a break from porn. Porn rewires your brain. I myself am a Christian too and think that porn is morally wrong. Especially gay porn.