Starved of Intimacy

Suicide is not the answer.

 

I agree suicide is not the answer. I have been with my SO for over 10 years and due to many factors we have never had a romantic or intimate relationship so I can understand how you feel.

Only you can get yourself past this and you can. It has taken me years but I am getting better and trying to enjoy what I do have because I could have a relationship with all the sex I could ever want but it doesn't mean I will be happy.

I know of someone who left his wife because she didn't want sex. He was then with a woman and could have all the sex he could want but he decided to leave her because she wanted sex too much and tried to get back together with his wife (this isn't a joke).

Try to enjoy life because it is short.

 

Please, please, please do not ever consider suicide an option! Ask yourself - are you sick? Are you poor? Are you impaired in any way? If every one of these things are false, and I'm sure they are, then please don't give up! Too much people give up too easily. There are about 7 billion people on this planet, half of them women. There just rationally must be someone that you'll fall in love with and likewise. Just don't stop looking for her! Please! Remember this - from this day on I keep my fingers crossed for you! Now you have to do all the rest of the work!

 

So you really think that all the people in the gigantic wave are content with their lives? Single people usually have this twisted perception that everyone with SO-s have their lives figured out and living life to the fullest. I am pretty sure that many of your friends with relationships envy you in some aspect. You have nobody controlling you, you have all your time for yourself and you are free to experiment, fuck up and then do it again. I'm not saying that relationships are bad but it has its cons. Don't be a coward. It is silly to ragequit in this game called life. Give life the middle finger and show everybody that it is possible to live as a single person starved of intimacy. Your genes want to make it to the next generation, they will figure something out with you. Starvation is good in some aspects. Don't you want to raise above the wave with your tiny boat?
Yeah I know this sounds like a cliche but giving my best to help you.
You are not in isolation. There are thousands of guys starved of intimacy at the moment. Me being one of them. I understand you may not have the power nor the will to sail your little boat over the wave but are you so sure about the future? People change with time more that they can comprehend.
Btw I am on season 3 episode 6 with rick & morty. what's the newest episode?

 

It always seems to be the nicest people who commit suicide, so please don't do it. The world needs more niceness.

I've been single most of the time apart from some fairly short-lived relationships and random party events as you say. The relationships made me feel pretty good at times, but didn't really fix the "issues" that I guess I have deep down. And then the relationships ended and you feel pretty lousy about it. So are relationships all they're cracked up to be? I guess that's both a positive and negative way of looking at things, but there you go.

 

I feel you because once I was there too like loneliness, depression for being single not having intimate relationship but ever since I get close to God He healed me of my depression. I still feel lonely but that's just part of human nature a struggle I should deal with until I find the one.

 

I'd say if you're contemplating suicide youre a little more than "leaning" towards depression. You're already there. In fact, you're mayor of depressionville.

 

Do you know the hotspot for suicidal people in USA? The golden gate bridge in San Francisco. Few people have actually survived the fall and every single one of them says the same thing afterwards: "I felt regret immediately after I let go of the railing". I'm pretty sure most of the people who don't survive the fall feel the same way. That must be the worst feeling ever. Take your time to heal. Day by day or hour by hour or even minute by minute. This will pass if you are willing to work on it. I would say Rick is a bad role model (being an alcoholic douchebag). Nevertheless he knows that life is shit and meaningless but he still goes on numerous adventures to live it to the fullest. I'm pretty sure you want to be like Rick in some sense.

 

My SO suffers from depression so I can see how difficult it must be (even though I am not experiencing it myself).

Before I met her she got a Cat which helped her to get through things. Perhaps (if you don have one) you could get a pet. They can be very rewarding because you know the love they give is unconditional.

It also gives you something to talk about when meeting people. I find most people enjoy seeing pictures of pets and then engaging in a conversation about them.

 

No, you don't want your life to go by fast and be done with. I am rather sure that deep down you want to get over your depression. Deep down you know that you are capable of creating a better life for yourself but you don't have the will to do so. This may very well be a reason behind your depression. Escaping the pit is very difficult but possible. I would say that you should occupy your mind with as many things as possible to escape your own destructive thoughts. At this point your own mind is your worst enemy. You do understand that you are left with two options: you either die very slowly in your pit or you climb out of it as a much stronger person. Don't worry mate, I'm sure there are many hands willing to help you climb out of it.

 

If you feel suicidal, please seek professional help immediately. I was lonely, depressed and anxious. My life was hell.

Then I sought professional help. Best thing I've done for myself. I've been going to therapy for years, and my life has totally changed. More confidence, a girlfriend, and a much better social life.

Stay strong and seek help. You won't regret it

 

I would agree with Zapster21 here: go to therapy or at least find people you can talk to on a consistent basis. You need to talk through your issues with someone. I'm glad you posted here. It's a good start.

I don't think anyone here can give you exact advice though because each person has slightly different reasons for being depressed. There may be common themes, like social anxiety or no friends or lack of motivation. But we each have a slightly different story and mindset.

There isn't going to be some catch-all statement that everyone will click with.

You're going to need to discover your own story and what you personally need to escape your depression and experience more happiness.

As a tip, I would recommend talking about your feelings with more specificity. Tell us a story about events you went through. I think keeping it broad and vague makes depression seem like a fuzzy feeling without an object. But often, it's just a series of negative events that have compounded and been forgotten over time, and all that's left is the fuzzy feeling. But it's those events that really lead to depression.

In the meantime, know that there are people out there who care. I care. I also go through moments of extreme isolation because I find I think differently from most people and have difficulty connecting as a result. I kind of know how you feel, at least as much I'm capable. Also, I'm sure most people responding to you care. Why else would they take the time to respond?