Okay, so I'm coming back to this site after a really long time now (started out with me "being too busy" and eventually forgetting about it). But that doesn't mean I haven't been trying to quit - I've actually tried several times but ended up relapsing each time. I'm starting again and hopefully this time it will last. As soon as I read some of the forums here, it made me question why I even wanted to M (especially after reading success stories). I've got a couple of exams left this coming week and then a week or two of holidays. I'm pretty sure I won't be PM or O'ing for the next couple of days (hopefully!) but what I'm really worried is about what happens when my holidays start - when I'm not engaged with anything, because I can almost imagine what I'll be doing (and unfortunately it's not pretty). Like one day I'll wake up saying okay today, I'll be doing this, this and this - PMO won't even come to mind. But, as soon as I take up my laptop, almost like a routine I reach to open incognito mode and soon... Of course, afterwards I'm left with a horrible feeling and remembering that feeling is what's keeping me from doing you know what right now. But it doesn't always work. In the moment, I can't think properly and it's in the back of my head. Like i can feel its presence (vaguely) but can't be bothered to give it a second glance because I'm so preoccupied with what I'm being dragged into. I dismiss the thought as irrational even though I KNOW that is the exact opposite of what it is. I apologize if this post has been really long to read but I'm asking for help. I need motivation to stay on track, advice on what I can do, especially if it is based on personal experience and approved by you. Also feel free to comment on your experience/journey/whatever you wanna call it (whether you're only beginning or have been at it for years) TL;DR- I've been trying forever to quit and would appreciate any advice, even your experience, anything at all just to keep me logged on this site and keep me coming back to it.