Starting again

i have cleared my mental clutter. I know what I need to do. Achieve just one day.

My long term goal.

People have a view of me being really well organised and have a good attitude to work and people.

At times I am at that person but when I use p I am a very deconstructive person with a moral compass spinnning continuously.

In my personal life I want to be someone capable of having a social group and personal relationships. I want to be socially active and able to work through my problems.

I need to set out my OST.

Objective strategy and tactics. Give me a moment I'll be back

 

There lies the paradox of the recovery of an addict that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

On one side you need to focus on your life the big picture. To not let your addiction be your only focus in life. That way you are free on it.

On the other side. Never get complacent. The dragon is just sleeping when you are doing well. You must keep an eye on the dragon everyday.

I've always hated the fact I was never truly free even on a 6 month streak. Now I know why.

I hate that dragon but equally the dragons fire is in me. Which I have used to good affect at times in my life.

Don't worry this is not delusions of grandeur. Thinking in visual and in stories help me process the themes I'm dealing with.

 

Thanks. I different realised I've not been focusing on my strategies and daily tactics enough

 

Their is a lot of nuisance in achieving our goals.

In NLP their is something called away and toward thinking I believe.

Away goals are seen as negative as they focus on the problem E.g.

The long term goal is soberity. That's basically a nice way of saying my goal is not to look at porn.

Personally that doesn't sit with me well. It does seem like reasonable and a logical goal but when deconstructed it's actually negative. It always focuses you on your weakness. Not your strength or what you truly want.

However, I now will contradict myself and therefore create a paradox of thought. But I agree with you I believe the goal should still be used.

This is in addiction. If we don't remind ourselves of our weakness then we are open to complatcency.


You have also demonstrated the paradox or contradiction in your metaphor of being in the dark. Do not look towards the goal but away from it and it shall appear in your peripheral vision.

That to me is a paradoxical statement.

It would be great to hear your views. This has really engaged me this morning in a great way.

 

Okay well. Get focused on 24 hours. Drop me a message if you made it. If you didn't let me know what happend.

 

So I've made one day. But the next 24hours are important.

I have been productive today. I work around feeling ashamed of myself but that is understandable. As the days pass I will become desensitised.

My long term goal is to have my own place outright and me going out and being social.

My strategy to do this are

Using nofap forum helping others.

Do breathing exercises to centre myself.

Do my life admin stuff. Exercise, brushing teeth, cleaning and organising, paperwork, eating well

Educate myself through books.

Accept my strength is my weakness and vice Versa.

Take a chance.