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Started Today!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Random19609, Jan 24, 2017.

  1. Random19609

    Random19609 New Fapstronaut

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    Today is day one! I've never made it farther than two weeks before (usually can't get beyond the first few days), but I've also always done it alone. Hopefully this time will be different because I have the community.

    I'm doing a normal mode challenge, hoping to achieve 90 days. If I can make it that far I'll reassess and maybe try to continue even farther, but for now it's one day at a time.
    I've never had a relationship, or even had sex, and I'm hoping to change that this year. That's why I'm doing normal mode - I'm not going to pass up an opportunity if it arises. But if not it might as well be hard mode for me.

    My biggest challenge has always been that it's tough for me to sleep without M first. But as long as I think of this as more important than sleep (which it is because I'm in uni and taking a light courseload this semester) then I think that won't be as big of a barrier as before.

    Here's my ticker:
    [​IMG]
    EDIT - this ticker isn't updating for some reason. Not really sure why, but it's stuck on day one. It's not because I've had to reset, but it kind of defeats the purpose of the whole thing.
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2017
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.

    Questions: do you think I may be a wiser option to heal yourself first prior to involving yourself in any sort of relationship, even if it only a sexual one? If you want a relationship, doesn't a future partner deserve someone who is not currently battling PMO?

    There are many young men in your same position on NoFap and I pose the same question to each of you. It's your decision either way but I thought I'd ask.

    BTW, what are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
    AndySky180 likes this.
  3. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Welcome to the NoFap community Random19609 :cool: and I hope you find these tips helpful.
    • Do not touch your penis unless you are peeing or washing it - no exceptions.
    • Do not use porn (in any form), do not masturbate or cum - called hard mode.
    • Remove sexual thoughts and images from your mind, completely/instantaneously.
    • When weakening from temptation get up and do something: for example, exercise.
    • Find a strict Accountability Partner, the best would be someone you know and trust. o_O
    Also check The Glossary (above) for the words, phrases and abbreviations we use here.
     
  4. AndySky180

    AndySky180 Fapstronaut

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    Random10609!
    You have made a great start here!! Thanks for the inspiration. All the best for your journey ahead!!! Call out if you need any help!! Cheers.
     
  5. Random19609

    Random19609 New Fapstronaut

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    Ok, I've been pretty bad about keeping this post updated. Thank you everyone who did respond and I'm sorry about that! Let me respond to everything now.
    First of all, it's the night of day 14 and I'm still going strong! It has been hard at times, but so far I've managed to pull through. And if I can make it one more night then I can say it's my best streak ever.

    That's a good question, and I don't have a great answer. The main problem is I'm not sure I'll ever be done battling PMO. Like a nicotine addict or an alcoholic, I could have a two year streak then suddenly something triggers urges when I'm not expecting them - then if I'm not prepared I could relapse. Not to be negative about it, but I'll essentially have to be vigilant for the rest of my life.
    So I'm not sure when I can say I'm healed "enough" to actually have a relationship - maybe after the 90 day mark? Maybe after 30 days? Maybe I am already?

    OK, so I'm a bit lucky here. My supposedly light course load turned out to be less light than I expected, so I have plenty of homework to get done. That's ironically also why I haven't responded to this thread yet.
    The biggest thing is I simply don't do it locked in my room - that's a recipe for disaster. That means I'm spending most of my waking hours around other people, where any temptations are impossible to satisfy. This doesn't help at night when I need to sleep.
    When I'm trying to sleep, and having trouble, I have a few strategies.
    - The first few days, the way my personal urges worked, it was enough to sleep on my side with no underwear on. For whatever reason urges were generated at least partly by pressure on my penis so that relieved most of them.
    - After the first week my body wised up to that strategy. Now when I'm not able to sleep from urges I pull out my phone and come on here instead of doing anything else. It helps that I very rarely viewed P on my phone, so that association doesn't exist in my brain. Then I just have to be strong for the 30-60 minutes it takes for them to go away. This is when I'm at my weakest unfortunately, but I haven't caved so far and I don't intend to any time soon. :)
    - Sometimes standing up and walking around a bit is the only thing that works.

    1 - Yes definitely. Sometimes I have to scratch an (physical, not sexual) itch and I do, because otherwise my attention is focused there - which is obviously really bad.
    2 - Agreed.
    3 - Also agreed. It's really hard to at night when there's nothing else to distract me, but it's almost a prerequisite for getting rid of urges.
    4 - Yep. Kind of hard at 3am, without waking up my flatmates, but it helps.
    5 - So far I haven't done this. The main issue is it would have to be someone available to respond to texts/have a conversation at 3am my local time every few days, and that's a lot to ask of anyone I know personally.

    EDIT - Also, the counter in my OP appears to not have updated for some reason. Rest assured I did not have to reset it.
     
  6. Random19609

    Random19609 New Fapstronaut

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    Oh, one more thing to add:
    I've always had confidence issues, still do to some extent. It's really hard for me to compliment anyone on their appearance or talk about the possibility of dating someone, let alone ask anyone out. Honestly it's really hard for me to even take off my shirt.

    So I'm going to create a sub-challenge for myself, which is to complement a stranger or casual acquaintance on their appearance. I have four ground rules:
    First is that it has to be in a non-creepy way - cat-calling is not OK, and I'll need to figure out exactly where the line is. But I feel like casually telling someone who I'm interacting with anyway (like a cashier) that I like their shirt, or hat, or whatever (that isn't a body part), isn't creepy.
    Second is that it has to not be something driven in any way shape or form by sexual attraction.
    Third is that I will not initiate any friendship or anything else with them afterwards (though if they initiate after the complement I can accept). That's to avoid doing it for any greater purpose at all.
    Fourth is that I have a week. This means that I will do it by 2/13.

    If I do this, then I will figure out what my next sub-challenge will be. If 2/13 comes and I haven't, then I will figure out why (maybe there wasn't a good opportunity or some external reason, though I doubt that) and reassess either the rules or myself.
     

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