Staring at other women

Alot of the time, yes.
Even if it's just a Ping* eyeballs Pop and force STARE*AWAY from the man.
She will often try to avoid looking (as to not encourage) or do a side step... Just something.
I'd say, take a couple of days and people watch.
When it comes to the "younger girls" 16-19....there is Some "I want attention" but mostly it's ahhhhhhhhhh why are they staring!!
And even in the target age, it's only a small sampling of attention seeking.
New to the world, as it were.
And probably never been unwantingly groped on the subway.
It's sad, but once That happens, and the little hairs know how to stand on back of your neck, every girl gets "the sense" if it's not born in.
I'd love to hear back after you take some time and watch around at others around you and see if you see the same others and myself have witnessed.
Or have other thoughts or things to add.

 

Yes i think it can. if he is willing to commit to changing.
my husband and i can up with a scale as well.
so he can tell me about his day, and so i am not triggered
also after about a day of two of me saying just let your eyes wonder, ( but be aware of where they are going) he said HOLY CRAP i do look alot. and that devastated me more. the reports of how often he would look crushed me day after day, however after about 40 days we came up with boundaries/scale for looking at people, and terms/a scale. and after 60 days his looking has gone down alot. he will still be in the red sometimes but he knows his consequence etc. He is actually more aware of things in life. like he'll notice a flower on the ground that i walked right past ( he is abstaining from looking/ogling/objectifying women) so i think it can get better
i have hope. My husband was unaware at how often he did it. he knew he'd see a girl but didtn't realize that he'd look at chest every time or butt or legs or anything else. once he did he said it makes him feel like a Pig. So he wants to change now.

 

I am not sure if i took your quote out of context so i apologize if i did.

When i was teen i wanted everyone to look. Once i started to attract men that 20s,30s,40s i realized the power i had. (please bare with me, i have a point) Then i realized when those 30s, 40s yr old men would make a V gesture and place on face to indicate....... ( and i was 12 or 13, ( i "matured" at a very young age. i looked like a young 16 or 18 yr old)) that is not who i want to attract. i was at a roller rink when that happened. someone did that in front of their child. thats messed up.
ever since then I can tell when men stare, or if a man follows me say down a hall i be sure i look for an exit route ( i am tiny, very short , so getting cornered is something thats happened, theythink they can overpower me cause im little). i can tell when men stare at me walking down the road. at a store whenever. I "feel" it. I may not acknowledge it to your face, but i can feel it. @kropo82 @MerseyPhoenix We not acknowledge it, but most of us can feel it.
I think if you reason for looking is to objectify them, then it is not right, and wrong of you to do. Even if you have no SO.

 

I have a idea... Care to join me in another thread @SpouseofPA?

 

sure whats your idea?

 

I don't always acknowledge a look/stare, so no you wouldn't necessarily know if they notice all the time. Sometimes we can just feel it. Once I feel like someone may be staring, a lot of times I will look to confirm but a lot of times I won't because of not feeling safe in that situation. I also worry about being cornered. I've also been groped in public several times.

And it amazes me that men don't think of these things about safety, but I guess they don't have to go through life screening every person they encounter to see if they are safe or not (i.e. - are we going to get assaulted by you). Like it is completely exhausting just to be this in tune with your senses all the time to know if you are safe or need to run. I've had men approach me, totally innocent men, but in situations that make me want to bolt for the nearest exit because a non-public place with a man approaching you just feels uneasy. The worst is like an elevator, where you are trapped, I hate that. You go through it in your head, maybe even without noticing you are doing it because you have to do it so often. Is he safe, where is the nearest exit, are there other people around, is he just being funny or do I need to worry, how far is my car, ok make sure I have my keys in hand ready to go, or phone out with 911 ready to go (yes, I've done that). Sometimes it is easier to pretend not to notice or smile and laugh something off than to put yourself in danger by telling them hey quit staring at me or giving me a pick up line.

Anyway, sorry, I guess I'm projecting here, but I've had this conversation with my husband so much. He doesn't understand why I don't want to park in a parking garage in a really shady area of town and have to go in a stairwell or elevator that can't be seen by anyone else (both tucked away in corners, out of sight from anyone else) when I'm alone. This is one example of so many. I'm like no shit you don't get it because you are a tall muscle packed dude, nobody is going to mess with you. I'm a small woman and just about any male I encounter could over power me quite easily if they wanted to. He (and I'm sure many other males) probably never received an angry response that makes them feel in danger after turning down an unwanted advance by someone, often times much larger than themselves. In general, they don't have to walk through life always on high alert on deciding who is a danger to them and who is harmless. I don't think guys have any idea of how often this happens for us, why would they? We just get called sensitive or over-reacting because they don't see just how much we have to deal with this. We have to be on guard 100% of the time we are out of our homes (hell, even when we are home if someone knocks on the door) because we know it can and does happen all the time. Either we ourselves or people close to us have experienced this and it is always in the back of our minds.

 

i am a very small women as well.
Hell i still get handed children's menus.
i definitely get the feeling of "received an angry response that makes them feel in danger after turning down an unwanted advance by someone, often times much larger than themselves". Ever since i was 12-13.