Something I'm gonna do when I'm fully convinced that I'm free.

Man I love your spirit and enthusiasm.

Also I know Anne-Dauphne recently did the exact same thing as you proposed: Once she was clean for a year, she'd leave the forums and pursue other things. Good for her, and I look forward to the day that you and I can set off this forum.

 

That makes sense to me, thegrandmaster. For me, I stay around forums like this because I enjoy it. I don't stay necessarily to help people, I'm not really on a mission to fix anyone, plus it seems like kind of a proud thing to do to say, "Hey everybody, I'm a guru." But if it turns out I can occasionally be helpful to someone, that makes me feel good. PMO destroyed so much of my life. If I take some small actions that may save someone else the years of ruin I experienced, to me that means that the addiction has been turned into something good. My suffering has meaning, then; it was meant, in part, to help others.

Plus a big thing is that I'm still learning things. Things that other people say here will really make a light bulb go off in my head. I've still got a lot to learn, and to be around an online group of people who are earnestly trying to do the right thing is a healthy environment for me.

 

We all have to do what works for us. I definitely see both sides of the coin. Personally I do not know how long I will stay on the forum. I think that as I make progress I will start to visit less frequently until, at some point, I may not feel the need. On the other hand, I may still check in from time to time to receive or offer support.

Time will tell. I too appreciate your enthusiasm and can understand the desire to move on as it were.

 

I wouldn't say I hate your ideas, I jut don't get them, to take freely from a program and group of people for your own success and give back nothing in return doesn't add up with me. But I cant say I wish anything less for you then unparalleled success for it will be an example of what we are all capable of.

Good luck!

 

I'm not sure that's entirely the case. If the OP can reach his goal and document what he learns along the way, then I would say he has already given back. The 85 posts he has already made here will remain as long as the forum remains, and whole generations of people will be able to see them. Sure, it's great if people hang around and contribute more, but we shouldn't criticise those who feel compelled to make other choices for whatever reason. We should simply celebrate what they have given us and be grateful for it.

 

I said I dont get for me. I need to see others trying, failing, succeeding. I need to keep it fresh and alive so I dont forget what a real problem it is. The involvement is what keeps me sober. I wish everyone here succses however they can attain it.

 

I think the urges do indeed subside. I barely ever have urges anymore. Only when I see something stupid online do things get stirred.

 

Thegrandmaster, I'm glad to hear your determination, but I encourage you to be more open-minded when it comes to the concept of complete recovery. I don't know what recovery is like, but I've put a great deal of work in to trying to figure it out. Attached is a graph of how much temptation people reported after an amount of time in nofap. The bars represent people who have gone (from left to right): 0 days; 1 day; 2; 3; 4; 5; [6 is missing] 7 days; <15 days; <30; <60; <90; <365; over a year, fapstaining. Some of these stats are a bit lacking, but it seems to imply that there's more temptation coming for you, and that it might never go away completely.

I don't claim that recovery doesn't exist, indeed I very much hope it does, and there are other statistics saying that nofap does indeed get easier. I think recovery is less of seeing porn and not wanting it, but rather wanting porn and simply ignoring it and moving on with your life. I think you're right that when someone is healed from this horrible addiction, they won't think about it any more. The Buddhist Monk, Matthieu Ricard described anger as a "thunderstorm cloud; it appears, from a distance to be belligerent and forceful, but once approached from a clear perspective with no knowledge of this emotion, this cloud, it will vanish".

People with experience in nofap continue to do better than those without, and report higher confidence. I think it's less about getting rid of temptation, I am hesitant to anticipate that because it might not happen, and it gives us a false sense of security. I think the thing that makes it easy is not that it's not tempting, but that you're in the habit of staying clean. I do suspect that you'll get tempted less often, but I think the key thing is that you never assume you no longer need self-control.

the survey [responses]: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet...fXt2Xc_x4UI-2_f_8ehjAxrAWg/edit#gid=717323216
the actual survey: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1aoyNtsGTq52C5re3dpb8RlKfmRmLfNv7sTSLN9nH9R4/viewform

I would ask that you come back and set me straight when you would, but I can't ask you to come back to the forum just for me. You can do it. Good Luck!