Social skills: learning, attempting and sharing ethical approaches to women

The old thread name had one pageful of discussion about the name.
So this one is this thread is about broadening our social skills particularly with the ladies, in a respectful way (by Reborn16).

In late 2020 we created discord server on dating, nofap and personal growth.join us
https://discord.gg/5ZCJKYAyjh

What I want to do is to establish a common place for all of us to share good and bad moments in the dating and socializing scene, so that we all get closer to what we are looking for.

I invite here anyone who is talking to strangers or wish to be talking with strangers.

It is all about being able to drive out the fear that exists within each one of us to approach a stranger, let alone a woman, in intimidating social environments. It is about being able to approach, but also being respectful to the opposite sex, especially whilst getting rejected.(
by rikityrik)

 

I will share a promising series
Lines To Start Conversation With Anyone

Spoiler: Trigger alert: sexy she is

"The simple observation“:

"The obvious commonality“:

Post here when you tried those and what happened.

 

From YouTube:


Hey YouTube, Kate Spring here. I want to jump right into this video. I want to give you the goods right away so that you can finally figure out when a girl wants to be approached. It’s rare that women approach men. What is not so rare are the signals that women send to men when they want to be approached, which is what we will look at now. As always, remember that if you have any questions to please leave them in the comments section below and I’ll be sure to get back to you, personally, as soon as I can! Don’t forget to subscribe and ring the notification bell where you’ll be updated every time I release a new video. Poll: Quick question, do you think that Men and women aren’t so different in their approach anxieties. Women fear rejection and coming off as desperate just as much as men do. But, here are 4 invitations that women send out when they want to be approached. I would highly recommend that you look for more than one of these invitations when trying to suss out whether or not you should approach a woman.

#1 Wandering eyes: The first invitation to look out for is the wandering eye. Is a woman scanning the room looking for eligible bachelors? Is she making direct eye contact with you? Has she gone so far as to check you out?? All of these could be an indication that a woman is looking for someone to approach her. A woman checking you out is the most obvious invitation and could signal to you that you should strike up a conversation with her. If she is scanning the room she could also be searching to see who looks available in preparation to lock down who she wants to send her subtle hints to. If you keep catching her looking at you then that’s an even better sign.

#2 Proximity: The second way to tell that a woman wants to be approached is if she gets close to you. If you have seen a woman make eye contact with you and gone so far as to move in she is positioning herself in your vicinity and could be trying to capture your attention. She’s making it easy for you to approach her. Another one under the proximity umbrella is if a girl gets close enough to bump into you. If she bumps into you this could be coincidence, but if she’s been making eye contact with you and exhibiting some of the other factors we will look at shortly, then she could be REALLY vying for your attention.

#3 Body Language It’s no big secret that our bodies speak a different language than our mouths do. So it should come as no shock that a woman’s body can, non-verbally, reveal that she would, in fact, like to be approached! 3. A) One of the biggest ways to tell if a woman wants to be approached is if she is adjusting her wardrobe or appearance. In bird culture, this is called preening. When a bird straightens his or her feathers with his/her beak. A Human woman actually does the same, but without the beak. They tend to use their hands. So when a woman is re-tucking her shirt, straightening herself up, playing with her necklace, changing which shoulder her purse is on, etc. She could be sending the smoke signal that it’s safe to approach. There are many subtle grooming gestures that women do that can indicate that they are ready and willing to mingle. If you want to learn some more body language basics and some ways that you can manipulate your own body language to get the attention of women, then head over to katespring.com/free and get yourself a copy of my Attraction Building Handbook, which is completely free by the way. That’s katespring.com/free 3. B) Another thing to look for is whether a woman is a tad nervous or not. If a woman has exhibited invitation #1 (eye contact) coupled with touching her neck, then you could have a woman who wants to be approached. The neck is a sensitive area and a vulnerable one at that. When a woman touches her neck, she could be doing two things. The first is that she is drawing your attention to that area of her body. Making you watch where her hand goes. Secondly, it unconsciously suggests that a woman is nervous. Former FBI Counterintelligence officer, Joe Navarro, contributed an article to Psychologytoday.com and said that when we are under stress, that our bodies crave a certain hand to body contact in an attempt to soothe our negative limbic arousal (stress). And, let’s be honest, trying to find and seduce a partner can be quite stressful. In terms of whether or not a woman wants to be approached, when a woman is out and about, and touching her neck she is feeling nervous. And if she’s previously made eye contact with you, then this could quite possibly be a signal that she’s waiting for you to approach her.

 

I had an interesting night out on Thursday.

My fussball partner joked if two girls would play fussball. So I approached and asked them for a game. They joined. One of them directly said her name to me. Just the nice thing to do, but still.

Then later on I crashed on a couch after exhausting game. The girl in the pair nearby asked me how I was, so I moved closer and explained the emotionally exhausting game. I was too needy to explain myself maybe.

Then there were two guys and two girls around.
The guys started chat, then we went into my field of electronics.
The guys knew the girls so asked them if they also study electronics, they laughed.

A bit later there is this cute girl, still sitting there, bored but staying around not involved.
So I collect my courage and ask her again if she is into electronics or what else. She answered she is into medicine. And we chat and she shares her dream is to become a surgeon.
Then one of the guys, drunk starts the discussion of bullying and how to defend from bullying. I speak smart things about emotional intelligence. I involve her into the conversation asking her for the word for bully in our native language, as we don't have established one with the same meaning. I approve her suggestion and go on.

I know she touched my arm at one point as we were talking with her.

Nothing special or spicy to report. My point is that as I am still learning the ropes of these social interactions, I was afraid to talk to the beautiful girl, and then she turns out to be very interesting human being with her dreams and stuff.

There was an interesting moment as the drunk guy interrupted us and asked me things. I told her that I will finish my point with her after a while and gave my attention to him.
At some point the discussion went boring and I was able to cut it and to return to her with finishing my point from our talk.

I am very analytical now, typing this down, but in the bar the things happened almost naturally. Felt good.

 

Report 26.12.2017
We were at Rubik to join Fussball tournament.
At some point I was away, in the middle of the place, chilling, and noticed a girl that looked at me, said something to her friend and her she-friend turned her head to look at me.
I smiled because I was purposely wearing cotton scarf inside, in a cool way, ends over my shoulders and on my back.
I knew I had to talk with them, but no sensible topic came to my mind. My brain was overthinking it.
I crashed on a couch next to a friend that was playing on his phone.
I told him the situation and asked me if I wanted to talk to the girls. I wanted, just wasn't able to execute. So we jumped together and he started with what's up, let's meet.
Then I joined with I noticed you were watching, what was it, my scarf?
And my friend added, dont be alarmed, no one is scolding you, and I smiled and reassured them I was not going for a fight.

My buddy then jumped straight for their names and I noticed they were easy to remember as the were the first and the last letters of our alphabet Ana and Yana.

My bud then asked about their signs and Yana teased us to guess them, so we played along the guessing game. Then they had to guess ours, as we both turned out to be Scorpio. Leo (asc sagittarius) and Gemini were theirs.

Then we talked about our occupations where the topic of board games surfaced.

At that point maybe, I moved to play our first game in the tournament.
I was comfortable and lighthearted to leave the group and to return and be easy to catch up.

An important milestone was the break of the touch barrier, as my bud touched them to draw their attention. Then I asked the aikido girl to stand up and do a little bit of tai chi push hands.

We were talking for about an hour, at some point even about breast sizes and how to make them grow big in the teenage period.

I was a bit slow to join the sexier topics maybe.

There was an invitation from my side for the girls to watch us on the semifinals, our second game, but Yana said that they would come at the final. We lost the semi.

There were nice looks from both of them, one was calling me by the name a bit often. There was a lack of stools and we made a mesh with our legs so that the bud have somewhere to sit! That was fun and veery much breaking the barriers as he was sitting practically in one of them. It was fun that she allowed me to put my leg between hers, so that I provide support.

It was fun interaction and we are meeting for a pizza and board games in a week, after new-years.

Good luck everyone and go talk to people, people love to talk.

 

Wow, it has been a month already. Since I got to know those girls from Rubik, we meet once or twice a week and play board games. I believe there is interest in the one I am interested in, and I am slowly adding value to my persona. In the mean time I don't approach other women, as I dont have the time and the mental resource to even try remembering stuff about other people.
We had a meeting one only two of us and it went for hours. I demonstrated interest and passed thr touch barrier. Now I am working to get an invitation to her place.

 

Field report 02.02.18 Super dull party at Rubik

It was a strange night. I was waiting for my crush to join, but early enough she messaged me that she will come next time. So at some point I joined sets with friends.
The first one was with women about my age. At one point the red head cutie asked me to go out for a smoke and discuss AI issues.
We talked about tv series and movies some 20 min and then headed back in. I should have tried to lead her by the hand but really I was unwilling to close the game on her because I am investing in another relationship.
Later on my foosball teammate explained that when all her friends like me, and the most beautiful girl likes me. So I had the chance to close her.
So the takeaway is that I need to learn how to change pace from intellectual talks to more sexual one.
The idea is that I slow down my speach and do a bit deeper voice.
The other thing is to hold her both hands and then lower without releasing. She should come closer on her own and eventually kiss.

 

Well I experienced first hand why one must not do Oneitis (betting on one girl only).
I spent the last months counting on one girl only, with a few nice dates, just to receive "you are apparently expecting something I cannot provide".
It was nice time and I know I didn't want to be doing multiple dates at once so nothing bad.
It is just that I dismissed a few nice opportunities along the way that I regret a bit.
It is my fault that I didn't build enough attraction possibly. And of course I don't know what her situation and her goals are.
So I take notes and go out once again.

I successfully started conversation with two girls last night practically over a cup of tea and that is big thing for me.
A friend joined and kept the girls laughing, so we gave them ride home in the end on the night.
Nothing more, but at least we exchanged contacts.

 

Reviving that thread as lately many girls show interest to me.
Last time I was with the idea of working exclusively on one girl and in the end she rejected me. And that made me regret the options that I avoided, because of the idea of her being exclusive.
Now, for the first time, I am trying to communicate with many girls at the same time. We will see where that ends.

What is your experience people, how to you manage multiple prospect dates?
I hope @Ryszard Mazur joins here.

 

The advice I found last night and in the last month actually is to work with tension and be comfortable in the tension between you two.
The guy also works with his inner state and that resonates very well with me: e.g. Random video

So the advice I found in the sex god method is to create sexual tension between you two. And that is to enter controlled arousal state and avoid overt sexual intent.
Sounds complicated, but the idea makes sense as I have achieved something like that and ended up in bed with the girl.

So this is an answer to my old question, how do I transition from intellectual talking to sexual spark.
Imagine her naked and naughty and talk about common stuff with ambiguous words.