Social Improvement

I was educated in a culture where your boss is a friend, but now I work in a culture where work and life are separated to the extreme. I have no friends, mostly because of the language barrier, but also because work colleagues and superiors are not engaging in private topics: being invited in their home is considered to be a huge thing, you're basically thought of as family.

I'm not sure where you are from, but it may depend on the culture.

On the other points, I would like to believe you are too self-conscious and overthinking. You don't have to click with everyone every time. I, for one, like to learn new things and am involved in a lot of different subjects, and when I hear bullshit I get pissed off and correct that person. So one can imagine that not many people enjoy my company and but that's ok. At parties, I don't go out of my way to make contact with a lot of people, I hang out with those that are discussing interesting topics and try to learn new things by asking questions; usually this is the way to make someone consider you to be a good listener.

So the advice I can give is to "just chill". Nothing wrong with you

 

I know how you feel, I tend to give monotonous replies when I simply don't have anything else to add to the conversation. Also I tend to 'become' the other person when they talk - I respond in a way that mirrors their style, if that makes sense? I know that asking the right questions is important to keep a conversation going to appear interested in what the other person is saying, but I don't want to just ask questions for the sake of keeping it going when I'm actually disinterested, why fake interest? As long as you're not upsetting them then that's fine. I suppose a sharp tongue can be developed with practice by initiating small talk with lots of random people and remembering to ask relevant questions. But everyone is different at the end of the day, people will always judge on your appearance and verbal/non-verbal communication no matter what your intentions are, so just be yourself and not worry. As for work, let your work do the talking and if they don't appreciate it then find a new workplace that does.

 

Like this?

Conversation #1
Q: Do you have any children?
A: Yes.
Q: How many?
A: Two.
Q: How old are they?
A: Six and sixteen.
Q: Are they boys or girls?
A: One of each.
Q: Who is the sixteen-year-old?
A: The boy.
Q: What is his name?
A: Edmond.
Q: And the girl's?
A: Alice.

Conversation #2
Q: Do you have any children?
A: Yes, a boy and a girl.
Q: How old are they?
A: Edmond is sixteen and Alice is six.