...then this is the bitter pill that you must swallow before trying to find one: You have to be okay with the fact that you might end up with nobody. I'm having a difficult time with this myself. The thought of never having a GF ever again, and never getting married and starting a family of my own, and perhaps never having sex, still scares me. However, after gaining new life perspectives, and hearing from a wide variety of people with opinions about the life-long search for our special fish in the sea, I'm starting to understand this ideology on a much deeper level. (Before reading on, I understand that exceptions do exist, and this doesn't absolutely apply to everyone) It's hard not to get emotional about this. We want someone so badly. We're almost ready to sell our soul to have someone to love, and to love us back. Our natural need for companionship as human beings will consume us if we're not mindful of it, because our emotions can have a direct affect on our cognitive psychology. That's the thing with human beings; we still have animal-like instincts. At the same time, with our human minds, we can be mindful of those instincts and change the way we feel about them. Anyway, when you start getting desperate, you put unneeded stress and pressure on yourself. The stress that you feel will manifest itself, in one way or another, when your opportunities arise. No one wants to be with someone who's unsure of themselves. In essence, they'll feel like they don't actually know you, and they'll pick up on the fact that you're trying to sell them an idea about yourself. Look, you might find someone while you're in your desperate mindset. It does happen. However, it's rare that those relationships last long term. Why? Because you'll naturally want the relationship to move quickly. In order to avoid feeling lonely again, the brain will want to ensure that the relationship is secure long-term. Security is naturally important to us, in all aspects in our lives. However, when you mix a priority of security with your need for companionship, it can create disasterous results. Another danger is, in the process of meeting someone, it's possible to obsess over them. You'd be surprised to know how often this happens to people, even without them being fully conscious of the fact that their obsessing (yet another reason why it's important to be mindful). What happens in the brain during the obsession period, is that it will fall in love with the idea of someone. All of their positive qualities will glow, and all of their negative qualities (arbitrary to yourself, as the words "positive" and "negative" are completely relative to the individual) will be rationalized in order for your ideal picture of this person to be valid. Over time, these negative qualities will naturally wear you down, because people tend to want to be with others who shares their values. Understand that happy long-lasting relationships which start on the basis of desperation, are due to sheer dumb luck. They just so happened to strike gold and find someone completely compatible. Don't count on luck to be on your side. Anyway, when you start to understand and accept that you might be alone forever, the urgency to find someone and get things moving quickly will naturally fade. You won't romanticize anyone, which means you can get to know the real them, instead of falling in love with your ideal sense of them. If things don't work out, you naturally get less worked up about it, and can move on rather quickly. You're much less likely to fall in love with the wrong person taking this approach!!! The acceptance of this paradox, that full embracement of the single life will make it more likely for you to end up with the person of your dreams, must be understood. Consistently victimizing yourself due to you're loneliness will not help you become less lonely. The universe doesn't owe you a girlfriend. It doesn't care how nice of a guy you are...period.