SO Talent Show!

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Kenzi, Dec 20, 2017.

  1. Qnb42078

    Qnb42078 Fapstronaut

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    That’s what I want him to find out ! Nothing in childhood, I think we have a stressful career together and that became his outlet ..
     
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  2. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    I've never made a trigger list but I made a list of all the things over the past 22 years that were signs that I missed. Things that when they happened seemed isolated because they happened far apart from each other. But when they were put together all in one spot, it told a different story.

    If anyone does this, be careful. It can be easy to beat yourself up over not putting things together, but remember it's all retrospect. For me it helped piece things together. Yes, for a moment I felt like a fool staring at that paper (more than one page considering how long our history is) but at the same time it enabled me to see that there were many things that I simply had no way of knowing about. In the end, it brought me peace. Looking at what I put together showed me that with the information I had at the time, there was nothing I could have done to change things.

    You know, we constantly look back and wonder, if only I had... but I realized that I had nothing to change. My husband and I are here right now at this moment and there's nothing I could have done to change that. And even if I could have, to look back in regret and beat myself up will do nothing to move us forward or help me heal. I had to make my list to realize all of this.

    I made the list for me, to work through my shit. I won't be showing it to him, or even mentioning it. The only thing that would do is hurt him and that is the last thing I want to to do.
     
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  3. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    I think everyone likes to be the center of the universe occasionally.
    But as SOs it can become a real Why Me? Whole thing.
    The thing is, yes it happened to us.
    But it started with them doing it to themselves and we get so lost in our own pain we forget to ask WHY? Which is the big question that will dig us out of the whole mess to begin with.
    I knew showing my list would be helpful.
    You knew showing your list wasn't.
    I think we should both be proud of ourselves for coming this far.
     
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  4. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I would say my main "talents" are writing and singing. I love to sing, harmonies in particular. I've been told I have a good ear for music, but unfortunately I don't have the patience to stick to guitar or piano long enough to actually get good at them. Lol perhaps someday I will.
     
  5. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Still wonderful talents!
     
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  6. LizzyBlanca

    LizzyBlanca Fapstronaut

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    We are hard on ourselves b/c of feeling like our love was discarded and they led a secret life. The thing is --- sex addicts are very, very, very cunning. They can and do truly hide it. Alcoholics and other addicts can't hide their addiction as easily. This addiction is one that can truly be hidden.

    Addiction.
    The consensus from what I've read is that these guys (and women SAs too) sustained trauma before 7 years old. And then, often, something happens around adolescence/early adulthood which "seals the deal" for the addiction to take hold.

    BUT --- this thread is about our talents, so let's hold ourselves up, here. We need to honor ourselves.

    I think every woman here on this thread is BRAVE.
     
  7. LizzyBlanca

    LizzyBlanca Fapstronaut

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    Me too. I wouldn't change it for anything, but it can present challenges for sure.

    Here's another - I can stand up for myself.
     
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  8. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    Exactly! A trigger list I probably would show him. It serves a different purpose. A list of his transgressions from the past two + decades? Yeah, not so much. I know he would feel like I was throwing it in his face.
     
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  9. Qnb42078

    Qnb42078 Fapstronaut

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    That’s what I was thinking. He knows what he’s done over the decade , but the trigger list is so he can see the aftermath
     
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  10. starrieeyes

    starrieeyes Fapstronaut

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    well, my talents? i like to think i'm a great singer, alright drawer (words, mostly). i'm an amazing medical assistant who LOVES her job and the doctor she works for. i like to think that i'm an amazing girlfriend, but i question that sometimes. i don't know if loving hard is a talent, but that sure is something i am good at! lol. i'm sure @icnvnu could name off some since i don't know what else... lol.
     
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  11. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    *clapping*
     
  12. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    I can work miracles in the kitchen, usually working without a recipe (although as mentioned in different thread, it rarely happens anymore).

    I have a green thumb, passed on to me by my amazing mother.

    I can sew but finding the time these days is darn near impossible.

    I completely switched tracks and jumped into a new career midlife and (to my surprise) have been kicking ass and taking names.

    I am a musician and can play multiple instruments. I've played my whole life and have passed it down to my kids. My daughter is making a career in music and has earned scholarships from her talent.
     
  13. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    A green thumb! Super jealous!
    *clapping*
     
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  14. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    I took a plant that was dying at my mother-in-law's and in the two years since, I have had to split it twice, giving out 10 "baby pots." I have the last four of those ten ready to take back to work to give away after my vacation days next week.
     
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  15. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    That's impressive
     
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  16. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    I think this plant was just happy to be away from my in-laws. I can relate. Haha
     
  17. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Lol
     
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  18. Jennica

    Jennica Fapstronaut

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    I’m an artist in many forms; designer of creature creations (special FX), costumes, props, milliner. I have an added uncanny ability to color match paint by eye.

    I’m very dyslexic but I have found my strengths in working around it to achieve what I need to.

    I’m a true Bull with stubbornness and determination. If I want to achieve something, I will not hesitate to prove someone wrong if they tell me I can’t do something and I have had many opportunities to do just that especially being a petite female on construction sites.

    I’m also incredibly loyal, intuitive, open minded and compassionate (I’m also an empath) with the people but I’m also strong enough in when I feel a line is crossed or I’m being taken advantage of I’ll walk away and say no if I need to.

    I can bake some amazing Pies and cookies!

    I somehow have a gift-dar in that I’m able to find almost exactly what someone wants.

    I’m really good with coming up with unorthodox solutions to challenges when trying to make something work.

    I love to work with my hands and I’m not shy of dirty hardwork. Unless it’s dealing with poop or spiders, I won’t do that!!
     
  19. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    *clapping*
    Amazing!!
     
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  20. LizzyBlanca

    LizzyBlanca Fapstronaut

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    LOL! Good boundaries! :)
     
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