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So I'm back on the dating scene

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Capt. U, Mar 2, 2019.

  1. Mar 2, 2019 #1
    Capt. U

    Capt. U Fapstronaut

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    One of the things that is challenging at the moment is dating during NoFap.

    Today, I went on a breakfast date with a woman I meet online last week. This was the first time I've ever been on a morning first date and first time on date in which I avoided to talk about anything sexual or initiate intamcy right away. Which is a good thing and it is how I would like to approach future first date ecounters.

    What I struggle with is the "hoe" side in me which has a pattern of finding online woman with the ultimate goal of having sex on the ASAP. I know this chick was into me and in my previous ways of being, I would have hit her with certain lines to intiate sexual scenerios. I am hoping that if I do wind up having sex, it is once we actually get to know each other better.

    I don't wish to feel like I'm only in it for the sex, like I used too.

    What are your guys experience or suggestions in this types of scenerios?
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2019
    Capt. U, Mar 2, 2019
    Capt. U, Mar 2, 2019
    #1
    Igotdis and Ra's Al Ghul like this.
  2. Mar 2, 2019 #2
    Igotdis

    Igotdis Fapstronaut

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    I’m struggling with this aspect the same. I just want to cut to the chase but how’s that suppose to start a healthy relationship?!
     
    Igotdis, Mar 2, 2019
    Igotdis, Mar 2, 2019
    #2
    Capt. U likes this.
  3. Mar 2, 2019 #3
    MonkeyDo

    MonkeyDo Fapstronaut

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    I'm in the same boat. Going on a date tomorrow and while I'd like to be somewhat intimate (kissing, hugging, etc.) I don't think I want to have sex on the first date. I feel like it would set the tone of the relationship to be about immediate gratification and not so much about loving and supporting each other as people.

    It sort of feels wrong to say that, because as a man I do have a drive to get it in as soon as I can, but I kind of feel like it's the woman's job to at least play hard to get for one or two dates before she gives it up. You know?

    Ah well, like most things in life, it's probably best not to think about it too much and go with the flow.
     
    MonkeyDo, Mar 2, 2019
    MonkeyDo, Mar 2, 2019
    #3
  4. Mar 2, 2019 #4
    Capt. U

    Capt. U Fapstronaut

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    It's tough dude, I have to re-wire my thought patterns in a way that is a bit foriegn to me. But I hate having meaningless sex.
     
    Capt. U, Mar 2, 2019
    Capt. U, Mar 2, 2019
    #4
  5. Mar 2, 2019 #5
    Capt. U

    Capt. U Fapstronaut

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    Hope it goes well man, I would recomend keeping anything sexual on the low. Show your date that you are different from the rest. Good luck.
     
    Capt. U, Mar 2, 2019
    Capt. U, Mar 2, 2019
    #5
  6. Mar 3, 2019 #6
    SpoonDog

    SpoonDog Fapstronaut

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    Part of our brains does seem to drive us to want to get them into bed as soon as possible.

    However I find that once I'm actually on a date with someone, those thoughts tend to go away somewhat, particularly as many of them I lose interest in very quickly because they're just not the right fit. So I'd rather ditch them and move on than persist with them simply to add another notch to the bedpost.
     
    SpoonDog, Mar 3, 2019
    SpoonDog, Mar 3, 2019
    #6
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