Slave vs Free

I remember when I would look at porn all the time. I would have stretches of time where I wouldn't look at porn and tell myself that I wasn't going to look for the rest of my life. Then not to long after there I would be staring at the screen with thousands of pix-elated falseness flashing before my eyes, or chatting away with someone other than my wife. If only my brain could have wrapped itself around the idea that this is actually considered cheating. On a regular basis this would happen over and over and over again. I hated being a slave to something such as this. During this whole time, not even realizing that the individuals I was so wanting to stare at could very well have been slaves in the industry that I was helping to support.

It is no fun to be a slave to anything. To fail at every turn at breaking free from this addiction that is enslaving you more and more, tearing your life apart from right underneath you. The worst part is, is that you don't even realize it until it is too late. Being a slave to thing and other things in ones life is no fun. I recommend to anyone to accept help where they are able to get it, whether it is here at Nofap, or if you need professional help. Please see it out and follow their recommendations, it could actually be the very things needed to break free from being a slave to this addiction. I will admit, I received professional help on more than one occasion. Honestly, it was exactly the thing that I needed to help me down the correct path to freedom. Yes, there were still relapses in between there. My daughter being born helped a lot with not relapsing. Then I found Nofap. Nofap was just the thing I needed when I found it. To see that so many other people were going through the exact same thing that I was, was a comfort. Maybe there is hope out there for me after all. Not just hope for me but for my marriage and family as well.

Now I am free. Free as a bird one could say. I am not being dragged down by this horrible addiction. I am not saying that I won't ever relapse again, but as each day goes by is another day of being free and freer. I still need to be vigilant so that a relapse doesn't sneak up behind me and kick me in the ass. It feels so great to have that load lifted from my shoulders. It is a great feeling to be able to face other people and not have this sense of being found out and hated because of my addiction. It is great to be able to look people in the eyes and carry on a conversation and even start a conversation about whatever. Hey, this is how people without this addiction do things all the time, it is awesome to be a part of that.

It is everyone's choice if they want to be a slave to this addiction or to be free from it. Is it very hard work? Yes! Is it a very long journey? Yes! Is that trust ever going to be there again? Maybe. A different kind of trust perhaps. Is it well worthwhile to put oneself through this journey and be successful in the end by never giving up? Well I say, oh fuck yeah!

Stay strong everyone!

 

It makes me wonder what the percentage is that choose that line of work for the money compared to those that are forced into it or choose it for lack of better options.

 

I hope so too. One day at a time. Stay strong!

 

Very true. And that decision will never end for us. We need to choose to be free every day. Stay strong!

 

That will change one day. Stay strong!