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skating on the brink

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by iwanttobemyoldselfagain, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. Apr 10, 2014 #1
    iwanttobemyoldselfagain

    iwanttobemyoldselfagain Fapstronaut

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    Day 5 brought with it a heck of a surprise. I was reading a Nancy drew, and all of a sudden my mind started throwing stupid ideas of masturbation at me. I pushed them away, and they only got stronger. I couldn't even believe it was happening. I knew it would be tough, but then at that moment I saw how awful it feels to have an urge and deny yourself satisfaction. I decided to try taking a cold bath. In the bathroom I gave myself a fucking ten minute talk on dopamine, and failure, and how ashamed I'd feel if I relapsed. I recounted how everyone on nofap says how they feel when their counter dials back to zero. Finally I told myself ,"make it a week, and you can eat a KFC burger." Finally thinking I was okay, I took the bath. The feeling passed. And boy, was I glad I didn't succumb to the desire. I feel so triumphant. I feel if I can go 5 days, I can go 90 days, I can even go a freaking year. Don't ever give up on this cause guys, that's what I learnt today. Just keep pushing, and you can do it.
     
    iwanttobemyoldselfagain, Apr 10, 2014
    iwanttobemyoldselfagain, Apr 10, 2014
    #1
  2. Apr 10, 2014 #2
    William

    William Fapstronaut

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    It is time to quit, my friend, it is time to take off the chains. It is time that you be your own master. It is time you help yourself. And how do you help yourself? We help ourselves by helping others. I am watching you. I have absolute confidence that you will overcome this. I am counting on it, I am betting on. You have taken the time to get educated. Take time to put things between yourself and the problem, make it difficult to access, put obstacles between you and it. I know if you can go 5 days--and you can--you can go 90, and if you can go 90--and you can--you can go forever. Don't be a slave to dopamine anymore. Coming down will hurt; you know this. You must embrace this pain. Take it firmly in your arms (metaphor coming), embrace it, wrap your arms around it, and with all your might break its back. Kill it before it kills you. You have to bring those levels back down to normal, but once back down to normal, you will level out, then it becomes manageable, then easy, and at a certain point it simply will not occur to you anymore. Keep going. You crossed a line with this post today. Today you started teaching.

    Good luck on your journey.
     
    William, Apr 10, 2014
    William, Apr 10, 2014
    #2

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