since then...

SuperFan · Dec 4, 2017

starrieeyes said: ↑

he gave me permission to search the history when i get home... he's not very tech-savvy so he doesn't know how to delete things
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I apologize in advance, because this is going to sound harsh--but if setting up Firefox to block XXX content is your guys' plan for staying safe, I think you should prepare yourself for for a false sense of security and multiple relapses.

You say he isn't tech-savvy. First off, porn addicts are a lot more tech savvy than they realize. They might not be clever, but their addiction sure as hell is. Not only could he delete things from his history (it's unbelievably easy to do that--just click "History", highlight the item you want gone, and click delete). He could also download another browser, use it all day while he's home for hours by himself, and delete the browser off the computer (and empty the trash) before you're back home.

Filtering needs to happen at the root level in order to be effective. Anything less is an open invitation for repeated failure. I hope you guys don't end up learning this lesson the hard way.

Kenzi · Dec 4, 2017

SuperFan said: ↑

I apologize in advance, because this is going to sound harsh--but if setting up Firefox to block XXX content is your guys' plan for staying safe, I think you should prepare yourself for for a false sense of security and multiple relapses.

You say he isn't tech-savvy. First off, porn addicts are a lot more tech savvy than they realize. They might not be clever, but their addiction sure as hell is. Not only could he delete things from his history (it's unbelievably easy to do that--just click "History", highlight the item you want gone, and click delete). He could also download another browser, use it all day while he's home for hours by himself, and delete the browser off the computer (and empty the trash) before you're back home.

Filtering needs to happen at the root level in order to be effective. Anything less is an open invitation for repeated failure. I hope you guys don't end up learning this lesson the hard way.
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I'm out of likes... But this

starrieeyes · Dec 4, 2017

SuperFan said: ↑

To be fair, the OP said he asked her to 1) set his restrictions on his phone, and 2) help him delete his Twitter. At the very least, he's asking for help, which is a step in the right direction.

I'm not going to make excuses for the guy, but as someone who has struggled with PMO addiction combined with depression and unemployment, I can say with a lot of credibility that it can take a bulldozer's worth of effort to get the recovery train moving. I would encourage the OP to be supportive of every step he takes to get better, without trying to take responsibility for his recovery herself.
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i am absolutely supportive of him and the steps he is making. granted, i haven't been doing very well keeping my emotions in check, but he understands after we argue for a minute... ugh, i hate arguing... but in the end, we come up with some sort of "agreement" OR it just gets dropped and we move on until it eats me up enough inside to bring it up again. the unemployment thing, well, he's got something hanging over his head and won't be gone until we take care of it with a lawyer (if you catch my drift, without saying it "out loud"). so there isn't any over-the-counter jobs that he is able to get. as far as under-the-table ones? well, he has them, but they're in limbo right now cause of the weather. he is so done not working, but knows he won't be able to until this thing gets taken care of, but can't come up with the money to deal with it because there's no work... catch 22, right? he tries so hard, you guys, but everything falls apart around him. it's insane, i've witnessed this... the last thing i want to fall apart is him or our relationship. sorry for rambling. this is all so new to me.

starrieeyes · Dec 4, 2017

SuperFan said: ↑

I apologize in advance, because this is going to sound harsh--but if setting up Firefox to block XXX content is your guys' plan for staying safe, I think you should prepare yourself for for a false sense of security and multiple relapses.

You say he isn't tech-savvy. First off, porn addicts are a lot more tech savvy than they realize. They might not be clever, but their addiction sure as hell is. Not only could he delete things from his history (it's unbelievably easy to do that--just click "History", highlight the item you want gone, and click delete). He could also download another browser, use it all day while he's home for hours by himself, and delete the browser off the computer (and empty the trash) before you're back home.

Filtering needs to happen at the root level in order to be effective. Anything less is an open invitation for repeated failure. I hope you guys don't end up learning this lesson the hard way.
Click to expand...

yeah, i know, i'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here. i don't want to keep thinking that's all he does when he's home. and i understand that porn addicts are a lot more tech-savvy than most, but you don't know my boyfriend... now, i'm not calling him dumb or anything, but he's not that type. i can tell you that much. there's stuff i'm not saying because it's not my business to tell, but just know that i know him very well. well, aside from knowing about this addiction. heh... -__-

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