Should we have sex? I don't know what to do!

One week might see a subtle difference but ask him to go one month without porn and see his reaction - that will be telling. If he isn't addicted and can give it up then hearing one month without porn won't phase him. If he is addicted you will be able to tell by his discomfort, bargaining and possibly telling you it's ridiculous to give up porn for a month.

And if he is having erectile issues because of porn then yes try avoiding sex and orgasm so you can really see if porn is the issue.

 

With what @AnonymousAnnaXOXO stated above when I first started to suspect porn was huge problem when I challenged my hubby to going three months without porn. I appealed to him from the stand point of helping our relationship after his ONS. He flipped his lid. Said I’m making a big deal out of a “shameful bad habit”. His defensiveness went through the roof, I was unreasonable, yada yada. I did my best to call him out on it. He finally relented on a week and I told him no that’s not a challenge at all. We settled on a month and I too had to give something up for a month. He didn’t stop thinking about it however and he would asked me what he could continue to see through the challenge. Are Pictures ok or is it just videos kind of things.

I was hoping a month without and how much better we were during that time would be enough for him to see but literally the next morning after the month he started right back into it. My hope was higher than reality and it was crushing for me that he went right back to it like the month never happened. I didn’t know enough about PA at the time. I didn’t realize more frequent sex with me during that month was basically a P-sub type situation.

It turned into the biggest eye opener for me that if I was going to continue to be with him it wasn’t going to be without other women (porn) in our relationship for a while. But I looked further into Porn addiction after that. Giving up porn for him at the time wasn’t an option in his mind. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink it took another 4 years and quite a few fights with a 2nd huge DDay for for him to be ready to give it upon his own. It took a lot more then giving it up for month but the experience gave me the information I needed to start to see and understand how bad the PA really was.

I will clarify, PIED wasn’t the issue with us but it was the emotional disconnect even with sex.

@NF4L could definitely give you some insight from his perspective on this as a recovering PA.