Should I tell my girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Tijn, Mar 4, 2019.

  1. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

    Great work man.
    I recently told my girlfriend as well. Its a hard conversation. She had a lot of questions that were hard to answer. IBut i think making yourself vulnerable infront of your partner is much better than having them find out the hard way while you live in denial.
    In my case i was ignoring a very hot girlfriend that was going out of her way to try and get me sexually interested. She deserves better.
    Tijn and Butterfly1988 like this.
  2. ImOkYoureOk

    ImOkYoureOk Fapstronaut

    I haven't read all the comments but I'm sure they all say something similar to what I'm about to say.

    Yes, tell your girlfriend! One thing I have always said to my boyfriend is to please be transparent and honest with me. I know he's going to make mistakes, I just need to know about them. It's very important if you want to build trust and trust is super important.
    Tijn likes this.
  3. Sunny321

    Sunny321 Fapstronaut

    I think that such issues are better to solve yourself
  4. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

    This is poor advice. Isolation feeds shame and addiction.
    Theamos and Tijn like this.
  5. Tijn

    Tijn Fapstronaut

    You're right, I should and am solving these issues myself. However we are living together and paying rent together, so keeping something of this magnitude only to myself would be very dishonest and damaging to not only me but also our relationship.
    It has truly helped telling her too. since I have told her, I have only relapsed once after 20 days and after that relapse, I am now porn free again for almost another 20 days. This is amazing for me, I have never since 13 y/o been able to reduce my PMO to these levels.
    So yeah I kinda get where you are coming from but no, you're wrong i'm sorry
    Butterfly1988 and RedeemedIowan like this.
  6. RedeemedIowan

    RedeemedIowan Fapstronaut

    Keep pushing for what you know is right. You are definitely on the right track.
    Butterfly1988 likes this.
  7. Theamos

    Theamos Fapstronaut

    I feel you need to tell her. If she find out later she will be pissed
    Make sure she knows this is not for her to fix but between you and a supporter and of you go to sa or saa meeting a sponsor
    Butterfly1988 likes this.
  8. Tijn

    Tijn Fapstronaut

    Hello all.
    It's been a while since I last posted, but i'm happy to anounce that i've been porn free for a month and 23 days now.
    It took a few small relapses but I finally did it, now I don't think i'm entirely free from it yet and I don't know if thats even possible, so i'm not going to celebrate it as if it is some major accomplishment but still, I have never been P free for this long in my life.
    The main thing that I've noticed is that my sexual drive and thoughts are less compulsive and they feel more natural. They also go more easily and because of that, i'm also masturbating waaaay less, now i'm not anti M at all, but I don't rely on it to fall asleep anymore as much as I did wich is a funny side effect I did not consider, and it is also just nice being able to sleep without touching myself for a change haha.
    And finally the reason I posted my story in this section: I have not felt guilty towards my girl for over a month because I watched some dirty nonsense on the internet, and therefore I feel that i'm a better boyfriend because of it. She also keeps telling me that she is proud and happy so thats all very good.
    And I got you guys to thank for it, because a few months ago I was not planning to tell my girl at all, but you convinced me to do otherwise and I am thankful for that because telling her put everything into motion.
    I hope you are doing well guys, I will stick around to read the forums and hopefully give some good advice of my own.
    thank you :)
    1dayattatime and Susannah like this.

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