Should I tell her about my PIED?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by OHHHH LORDY!!! LORD!, Aug 6, 2019.


    OHHHH LORDY!!! LORD! Fapstronaut

    I've been back and forth on nofap for close to 5 years now. Its been a constant struggle, my longest streak has been 23 days.

    I broke up with my GF of 3 years about 3 years ago. Since then ive isolated myself which has only made it harder to fight the addiction, and have managed streaks of 1 to 2 weeks days before relapsing. Its been a nightmare and my confidence is at an all time low.

    Fast foward 3 months ago I meet a cute Dominican woman who knew of me through a mutual friend. We both work in the same demanding feild, we share alot in common. I really like spending time with her. She smells good and I love the way she looks at me, it turns me on so much.

    She is amazing and I'm 100% attracted to her. However my PIED is severe, I told her I needed some time to heal before I have sex but I told her it was for spiritual reasons. she is a busy person and also just left a tough relationship, she understood and agreed that we should take it slow. However I know she wants to be fucked and it kills me that I cant fuck her the way I want to.

    The other I freaked out on her because I thought she was ghosting me. Turns out she was going through so serious family sturggles. We talked it out and she said she cant be in a relationship with me because she is going back to law school. She also told me. That "you don't know what you want" she was crying but I wasnt sure if it was because she had a rough week or if it was because of me.

    I know she is scared because she thinks I'm not into her. I want to tell her about my struggle and that I want to be with her and that if she is willing to be patient with me, that she can help me heal so I can fuck her the way she deserves.

    Do you think its worth a try? Have any of you ever shared that information with a potential girlfriend? If so how did it go?
    Jake n Bake and Gaius6Reboot31 like this.
  2. Gaius6Reboot31

    Gaius6Reboot31 Fapstronaut

    I am also interested in hearing these kind of experiences. As I see it now is better trying to be open about your problems.
    FX-05 likes this.
  3. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    option 1 is tell her. option 2 is kiss her and make her your girlfriend. Either one would do. Not doing anything is the worst thing you can do. Option 2 while your trying to have sex, you tell her the truth.

    You been single for 3 years and you clearly like her. Have the balls and go for what you want. Having a girlfriend can give you more motivation. Yes, she likes you and it's because of you. Next question is how would you feel if she found a boyfriend?

    Try and do no porn and masturbation. Try having sex but don't touch your dick at all cost. Get her to do it for you.

    OHHHH LORDY!!! LORD! Fapstronaut

    Thank you for the advice, I messaged her and told her everything. She has not responded to me. Its only been a few hours, not sure what she will say.

    I really like her and I've been lonley for so long.

    To answer your question, if she got a girlfriend id be crushed. But I also know I'd get over it and that I will find someone better after I make it out of this flatline.

    But for now I want her with me.
  5. young Dale Dan Tony

    young Dale Dan Tony Fapstronaut

    You should have told it face to face. However I think you can have sex with her without your dick, you have ur fingers and tongue...she will appreciate the effort
  6. Gaius6Reboot31

    Gaius6Reboot31 Fapstronaut

    Congratulation, I think you did the moral thing being sincere with her and letting her choose with all the information. I image it was not easy.

    Just out of curiosity, how long is your flatline lasting? I want to know what to expect. I've read other cases of guys who flatined the hardest around 6 months in and recovered in around a year
  7. Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

    I told one girl about it once, and we ended up having a pretty good conversation about it. Talked about how porn fucks up your mental and shit. The next time I saw her we had sex and I had no PIED problem. In fact i think she loved it. I was so pumped and thought maybe I was cured. So I masturbated like an idiot again and the next encounter with this bad Palestinian girl that I had, my dick decided to do that thing again....
    Bummer right....

    Keep pushing man
  8. Advocate109

    Advocate109 Fapstronaut


    OHHHH LORDY!!! LORD! Fapstronaut


    Thanks my brother she got back to me and was really upset and said my behaviors are toxic and that she doesnt want to be with me. I am crished but I have to keep pushing forward.

    And my flatline has been 4 months. It sucks alot and the emotional pain of rejection and shame dont help. But I'm facing the pain and I'm hoping it molds my soul.
    need4realchg likes this.

    OHHHH LORDY!!! LORD! Fapstronaut

    Thats awesome bro!!! There is hope after all. Im glad she was cool and didnt judge you. The girl I told didnt know what to say and cut me off. It hurts because I dont want to be viewed as a looser but I also know she has to look out for herself.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts brother and I hope your healing goes well

    OHHHH LORDY!!! LORD! Fapstronaut


    Yea brother face to face would have been so much better lol. I wont date until I'm done healing howver long that takes.
    need4realchg likes this.
  12. 2974629562994628

    2974629562994628 Fapstronaut

    I really don't think you should tell her. It doesn't sound like you are that close (yet). Keep it to yourself, keep going on the way that you are. If you tell a girl who doesn't know you well that you have PIED then you're going to raise all sorts of questions from her. Questions that she is going to want answers to pretty quickly and the longer you wait, the more likely she will come to her own conclusions about how bad your problem is and why and how it even started in the first place. There are a LOT more ways it can go badly, than it could go well. I would not risk a gamble like this at all.

    I really wouldn't bother. A lot of people make the serious mistake of making their private life, not-so-private. You don't need to tell everyone that you want to fuck, why your dick isn't working the way that you want. If she's decent enough you will be able to keep some privacy, not air out your dirty laundry and she should be totally fine with that. If she pressures you for answers or something then that's a sign of other issues.

    EDIT: Oh man I should have read more but I wanted to say this asap.

    Well you learned the hard way I guess and you didn't just make the mistake of doing it, you really did it in the worst and kinda most impersonal way possible... which probably made he think really how much courage you have if you can't say this in person. Anyway. Lesson learned I guess... Definitely don't do that again.

    This is probably a good idea.
    need4realchg likes this.
  13. ironmaing

    ironmaing Fapstronaut

    This should serve as motivation never to PMO again. P is made you miserable. I have PIED and my gf is about to leave me. She kinda already is as she is seeing other dudes, while I see other girls in an effort to rewire

    Anyway, I will never watch P again. It’s ruined a great relationship and almost cost me my life. Hit really bad depression a few months back. Much better now thanks to nofap.

    I’ve managed to get erections just MOing, so I see I’m healing. I’m more sensitive around women and my junk reacts to women. Got a few semis, just haven’t managed to get the full erection yet
  14. superman611

    superman611 Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry, but you are 500+ days out from PMO and you are still having PIED? Is that correct? If that's correct, maybe you should go to a doctor.
  15. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

    I read your reply and yeah i would say it is but idk her oersonality. She could tell eveeybidy she knows, but if shes halfway decent she wont.

    She thinks you dont want her bc you told her you don't want sex for spirtual reasons which translates to "i dont want sex bc *enter invalid reason here*" hence her saying "you dont even know what you want"

    To answer your qiestions.
    Yes. And in my case it worked out. I highly recommend it
    Oh it went just fine

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