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Should I have sex?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Mskscollect, Jan 12, 2019.

  1. Jan 12, 2019 #1
    Mskscollect

    Mskscollect Fapstronaut

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    Okay so I'm 18 years old, and I recently entered my first relationship ever and lost my virginity a month and a half ago.

    Before I started NoFap I dry masturbated 2-4 times a day for 5.5 years.
    I have been looking at NoFap forums and threads basically everyday to learn about it, and I am currently on Day 38. I have very little trouble not Ping and not Ming.

    My issue is that with my SO I get hard very easily (however it's not maximum hard) but it also goes away very easily if I'm not actively doing something with her.
    So mid-sex I will lose my erection and just be left semi-erect.
    I also am extremely desensitized and feel basically nothing during sex, but I have been seeing minute improvement.

    So my question is should I still have sex even though I stop being hard, or should I stick to everything but sex, or should I completely abstain from activity all together?

    Some side notes are that I've stopped trying to oogle at women in public, I have no urges to go back to PM, and when I'm with my SO I'm not that horny or turned on I just do it cause it's fun. Also my SO is aware of my rebooting and is in support of me.

    Thanks in advance for the responses!
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2019
    Mskscollect, Jan 12, 2019
    Mskscollect, Jan 12, 2019
    #1
  2. Jan 12, 2019 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    If you want some REAL results then you should abstain properly. Like , no P ,no M ,no S ,no O.
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 12, 2019
    Deleted Account, Jan 12, 2019
    #2
    diesel2256 likes this.
  3. Jan 14, 2019 #3
    The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    Props on the not ogling women, telling the SO, and doing sex stuff for with with them!

    Dunno - you feel ok having sex? What answers are you hoping to find here?
     
    The Wrestler, Jan 14, 2019
    The Wrestler, Jan 14, 2019
    #3
    de severn likes this.
  4. Jan 15, 2019 #4
    Mskscollect

    Mskscollect Fapstronaut

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    During sex I don't feel anything, and my dick isn't really that hard. But the times where it is hard I still find it fun, just not pleasurable. My question is would having sex even though my dick can't stay hard hinder the reboot process, would it make it more difficult for my brain to rewire itself to be attracted to actual women again so my dick can stay hard like it should?
     
    Mskscollect, Jan 15, 2019
    Mskscollect, Jan 15, 2019
    #4
  5. Jan 15, 2019 #5
    The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    Well, the biggest sex organ in your body is your brain - what do you think is the way forward?
     
    The Wrestler, Jan 15, 2019
    The Wrestler, Jan 15, 2019
    #5
  6. Jan 15, 2019 #6
    Mskscollect

    Mskscollect Fapstronaut

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    My guess is that I should let off of sex until I can be properly hard for longer periods of time
     
    Mskscollect, Jan 15, 2019
    Mskscollect, Jan 15, 2019
    #6
  7. Jan 15, 2019 #7
    diesel2256

    diesel2256 Fapstronaut

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    Dry as in edging? Yeah, you need to stop everything for a bit.
     
    diesel2256, Jan 15, 2019
    diesel2256, Jan 15, 2019
    #7
  8. Jan 21, 2019 #8
    DaveKing

    DaveKing Fapstronaut

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    @UltraFree what would you say is the goal before going back to having sex with SO? Abstain from everything until one can go back to feeling horny and hard during sex? For me, begin able to have normal sex with my SO is the goal.
     
    DaveKing, Jan 21, 2019
    DaveKing, Jan 21, 2019
    #8
  9. Jan 21, 2019 #9
    ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    Talk to her about it and try if you can both engage in Karezza. Especially now. Allow yourself to become soft or semi-erect.
    If you are with a good girl, and you both really like each other very much, karezza is one of the most beautiful ways of having sex and engaging with each other.

    I can give you way more tips if you want, just send me a pm, i've been in a similar situation
     
    ReclaimedLife, Jan 21, 2019
    ReclaimedLife, Jan 21, 2019
    #9
  10. Jan 21, 2019 #10
    seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

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    It could be HOW you are doing sex that's making you feel this. Try to explore few safe and healthy sexual positions with your girlfriend and see if this still continues. You have just lost your virginity so you are relatively very new in how you have sex with a girl. I'd still experiment more for a few months with a girl and see how it goes.

    I remember when I lost my virginity, it was great, but it was awkward. After a while, it became better and better. I learned how to have mindblowing sex after a time. So that's what I was thinking that you might be going through this.

    If you still feel this still affects you, then abstain sex for a few months then resume it. As others said, the biggest sex organ is your brain, not your dick.
     
    seaguy44, Jan 21, 2019
    seaguy44, Jan 21, 2019
    #10
  11. Jan 22, 2019 #11
    Mskscollect

    Mskscollect Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys OP here!

    So funny enough but just 5 days after I posted this (Day 43) I gained enough sensitivity to feel pleasure during sex, but only without a condom :(. In those 5 days I did not see my gf whatsoever, and I do think that helped.

    So I don't need anymore responses but I am not going to delete the thread so anyone reading can see and relate to my situation and resolution.

    Thank you for the responses!

    UPDATE: At Day 48, I was able to feel pleasure and orgasm with a condom on :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2019
    Mskscollect, Jan 22, 2019
    Mskscollect, Jan 22, 2019
    #11
    seaguy44 likes this.
  12. Jan 23, 2019 #12
    seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

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    Glad it works! Be sure that she’s on the pill
     
    seaguy44, Jan 23, 2019
    seaguy44, Jan 23, 2019
    #12

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