Short term pleasures is the path to hell!

I think the key to a succesful reboot is to change the idea of what pleasure/reward is.
Let me explain my thinking, bear with me.

I think ultimately, what is required of us is to balance the short-term/long-term reward system. We have to focus much more on the long term rewards. This is not as stimulating at all. So what is required is to build a sense of belief and trust in the future.

If you trust in yourself and the future, then you have no need for small pleasures all the time. A succesfull man thinks this way of short term pleasures: "what's the point? I'm trying to get to point B. Can't stop now!"

This sense of trust in the future has eroded away in many of us, because of years of pmo'ing. As addicts, we stopped believing in ourselves to justify seeking our short-term pleasure. We have to acknowledge this point.
It is a mechanism of addiction to justify our behaviour - this means sacrificing long-term goals because of short-term pleasures. This process happens mostly without us thinking about it. But we can change that. We can start to be aware of the process.

This means that whenever we feel a craving for something, then over half of the reward/pleasure system has already made it's decisions. This is why it is so hard to resist urges. We are only aware of half of the process. The process starts unconsciously with us setting ourselves up to fail. Emotionally or in the thoughts, we react to outside influences in a certain way. This way of reacting is "warming up" the reward system. We feel bad, or anxious, or stressed out, and in this way we are creating the need for a short-term reward.

This is called "setting yourself up to fail". And we need to be aware of it, so that we can stop it. You see, when the urges come, we are already "deep in the water". Half of the process has already gone by without our knowing about it. Start thinking about this as not getting wet. If you don't want to get wet, don't step into the water! Most of us don't want to get wet, but we only realize it when we are up to our neck in water! Then we have to fight to get out.

What helps is to remain calm and neutral in any situation. When you react to something and get stressed and angry or sad, or frightened, think about it as a means to an end, and the end is short-term pleasure, PMO.

To fight this thing we really need to be aware of what we are doing in any moment. That is why succesful Nofappers experience so much succes in other areas of their lives. They are awake and aware, and they are taking back the control from the auto-pilot.

Happy rebooting all!

TL;DR: Be aware of your subconscious justification for PMO'ing. Be aware of when you set yourself up to fail. Succesfull people don't need short-term rewards.

 

First of all, thank you!
A few years ago something in me changed, and I really wanted to change my habits and quit my addictions. But it took a long time before I could even start doing it. Only a year ago I started quitting my addictions one by one. I started to exercise, meditate and do Qi-gong seriously. I started to go to Gung fu lessons. I started writing a diary and take all possible steps I could towards self-improvement. I still have a long way to go, but I am starting to see some improvements.

I would say dieting and quitting sugar is a key step towards learning about yourself. Constant distraction is an ingrained habit in most of us. So learning how to concentrate, how not to distract yourself is a pretty important step as well - meditation or exercise can do this.
I don't do cold showers at the moment.

Thank you for your reply and kind words.
One thing about discipline: I think there is a common misconception about discipline on these forums. Discipline is not something that you can force (only for short periods of time). We need to focus on where the discipline comes from. Instead of discipline as a way to push through the struggle, develop enthusiasm. Only when we have our goal in mind, and we are positively sure that we are going to reach it, and we are enjoying the process, only then can discipline last.
This enthusiasm is in all of us, it is the reason we are here, doing Nofap. We just have to cultivate it.

 

Thank you for your kind words, I am honored that you feel this way.

@diogo431509 I have started with cold showers again, going 8 days in a row now. I've noticed increased energy and enthusiasm for a few hours after each cold shower. But... brrrrrrr....