Short, interesting video on how relationships are when you have "one foot out"

I couldn't agree more with you. For me, in addition to PMO, I was also addicted to chat rooms and interacting with other people in sexual ways through those. By doing that I had "one foot out" because having interactions with other women online always kept me thinking more short term about my marriage. The women I chatted with seemed perfect. Like they understood me better than my wife. Like they could better meet my needs. Like they were the perfect girl for me. Of course that was because they were only presenting me with their best idealized self, and like the video said that was me viewing the image of them through a blurred lens where you couldn't see any flaws or faults. As a result it also seemed to to do the opposite with my marriage and with my wife in particular. It would magnify all the flaws or problems with her. For all the years that I was heavily acting out in my addiction and especially when I was doing so by interacting with others online, I had one foot out in my marriage. It prevented me from fully investing in the marriage.

The sad thing is that now the tables are turned. My wife isn't sure she wants to continue on with things. She has one foot out and I'm finding after my trying to keep investing in things that I'm growing weary. It doesn't work if only one partner is investing and the other is one foot out. Both either have to be one foot out and then done, or both have to be investing. It has to be reciprocal.

Thanks again for sharing that great video!