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She didn't kiss me back

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by kingpietro, Jun 28, 2017.

  1. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    And from a woman.....
    And before you slash my opinion....
    I've dated and held relationships with women.
    Most women, at least ones Worth dating, don't like to be kissed on the first date.
    They have "internal rules" and standards.
    Show some character, explain nicely, like @MindfulAchilles said and ask her out again.
    Wait until date 3 or something.
    Unless, she knows you already want to kiss her and she's bold enough to kiss you first now?
    You never know.
    My SO tried to kiss me on the first date and I laughed him off.
    On our second date (he tried again)
    I forget what he said when were driving but we hit a red light on the way to the restaurant and I grabbed him by the face and kissed him.
    He said that never happened before.
    I said I knew he'd let me because he tried last time.
    (and I laughed at him Really hard the first time - I'm Really surprised he called)
    So don't take it personally.
    Perseverance.
    Try again. If not, you never know.
     
    Hardboiled24 likes this.
  2. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    I would like to point out that 3/4 of the things you said were positive - excessive talking, dilated pupils, and playing with her hair - are also signs of anxiety. What you took to be positive signs might not have been.

    If you really like this girl, apologise! Send her a message, or better yet, call her, and say, "I have been thinking about our date last night [or whenever], and this is the story I have been telling myself: when I kissed you I really felt it made you uncomfortable. I am very sorry if it did. I really like you and think we have a lot in common and I would really like to get to know you more and I really want for you to be comfortable around me and I am very sorry if I made you feel awkward or uncomfortable. I would really like to make it up to you over [insert simple date idea here - ice cream? coffee?], what do you think?" and then respect what she says. She may want nothing to do with you. She may accept but need some time. She may say "Actually something was in my teeth and I felt really embarrassed." You need to be ready for any of these possibilities. It might suck, but you will feel better for acting in an upstanding way and apologising leaves the possibility for the relationship to be restored.

    Courage, bro! You got this!
     
    kingpietro and MindfulAchilles like this.
  3. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    If she had a reaction like that, sounds like she's not that into you.
     
    faplordxd likes this.
  4. faplordxd

    faplordxd Fapstronaut

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    Why would you apologize for showing that you're into her sexually

    Also how would buying her coffee make her more into you
     
    Hardboiled24 likes this.
  5. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    I don't like you're cocky attitude but i agree with you on this one. Why would you apologies for doing manly behavior making a move. Its like when you ask a girl out and she says no you apologies sorry..

    Olso i don't thinx you should tell her you like her if she didn't told her feelings about you that will make you enter the 'friendzone'.

    I will just ask her out again and she how she response.

    I am just thinxing she is the one but maybe she is just not in to me and prefer's other guys. only way to find out is to ask her out again. IF not move allong
     
  6. This shows lack of self confidence.
    Be firm with your intensions & believe that she is only for me(in a positive way).

    This contradicts your intensions. Means you're not serious in her.
    Just focus on her 100% & give time.
     
  7. MindfulAchilles

    MindfulAchilles Fapstronaut

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    The guy said he's dating two other girls for sex without being interested in them at all. He's masturbating with human bodies and lying to himself about nofap.

    By not understanding why the apology is important, you're proving that you're not a very emotional person, and you put a lot of emphasis on your selfish desires for what you consider rightfully yours. Good luck.
     
  8. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    I think asking her out again may be a good idea, but this "alpha male" manly stuff is not right. Social psychology has repeatedly disproven the whole concept of "Alpha Male" pickup artists. The beliefs are rooted in really negative perceptions of women, and actually of men - men aren't sex wolves or horny lions or wolverines or whatever - men are men. Humans. It also really reinforces negative stereotypes of women (like that they're just objects to pursue and not well-developed, complex, people), and rather than building each other up "Alpha Males" instead focus on tearing others down to make themselves feel better. It makes sense to me why people hold to it, because no one wants to feel weak or vulnerable, but a) tearing people down doesn't actually make a person feel better, it just makes more people feel terrible and b) what the research shows is that confidence comes from practice and being happy. The idea that "if I do this then I'll be happy" is, surprisingly, backwards. Positive psychologists are finding more and more that being happy first increases the chances for success because a happy brain is a productive brain.

    The other finding in psychology and sociology which is really startling when you think about it but is also very true, is that vulnerability fuels connection. It is easy to think "alpha male" "pack leader" or whatever to help psych oneself up to the challenge, but the simple truth is that approaching a woman and asking her out is a vulnerable action. Sharing my struggle with porn with my girlfriend was a vulnerable thing to do, but the way she has responded has strengthened our relationship. A person has deep connection with friends because those friends have seen them at their weakest, they've shared secrets, and those friends have not betrayed that trust.

    While apologising might seem like a "weak" thing to do, weakness is strength and apologising opens the door to a continued relationship. Her personal space - her body - was invaded without her permission. An aology is in order. Without it, the relationship cannot continue for long.
     
    MindfulAchilles, kingpietro and Kenzi like this.
  9. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    So i apologies like @MindfulAchilles said and i olso asked her out she said yes

    I olso deleted the 2 other girls phone number. I thougt i had a adiction to porn and masturbation but i've had a adcition to sex.

    Not so sure when i should tell her of my "adiction"

    want to thanx everyone for posting information appreciate it.

     
  10. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    I fucked up with this girl i tried to have sex with her at my place and she ran away... My sex addiction is making me lonely

    She olso found out i was having sex with those 2 other woman because she wrote my text at my phone..

    She blocked me on facebook and from her phone .

    My sex addiction makes me a lonely frustrated man i need help
     
  11. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

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    Hey @kingpietro I am a shy girl (or used to be) and there were times I wanted a kiss on the first date, but I always liked knowing he was interested (arm around, hand hold, or just simple flirty physical contact). I know there have been guys who have rushed being sexual with me adn it was an instant turn off because I thought we were making an emotional connection, but in the end felt like all they wanted was sex.

    In the future with her, or any other girl you date, I would say be patient wait for the kiss and other sexual things, but don't not be flirty. Like holding the door for her, and putting your hand on her shoulder to know she should go first or something.

    My now fiance, when we met, we hooked up the second night we met (not the best idea) and honestly I thought he just wanted sex, and figured I would never hear from him again, unless he asked for sex ( we didn't have sex that night just made out in car and stuff). We ended up seeing each other the next day and hung out, and I told him that I didn't want to have sex with anyone unless they were my boyfriend, so he waited and never pressured sex, and once we were officially together we had sex and honestly it was worth the wait. It meant more because we got to know each other on an emotional level.
     
  12. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    Read my last poste i fucked it up. She saw i was dating other woman i made a topic about my sex adiction watch it :
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...tion-from-woman-but-i-am-so-depressed.110866/

    I olso tried to have sex wit her even though she didn't want to..
     
  13. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

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    @kingpietro Well, I can say that most women want to be the only one you're seeing. Some are fine with casual dating, but it's good to make that clear in the beginning. What are you looking for out of curiosity?
     
  14. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    a real relationship with a woman who i can love . instead of having sex i would love to "make love"

    but because of my sex adiction i usally never end up in a relationship. and if i do i cheat on them with other woman..

    if you would see me you would thinx i am a verry happy person but in reality i am depressed having lots of sex is not the way to become happy.

    having someone you love is..
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2017
  15. What did she say after the kiss? How did the date end? How old are you 2? I'm a girl btw
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2017
  16. I am sorry I am a sex addict too

    Fix yourself before going back to have sex

    You cannot destroy your sex addiction if you keep having sex so giving fuel to it. It has to be drastic

    Improve your life with real goals so then you don't use sex to fill the void and to stop being depressed and unhappy. I have learnt this to my expenses
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2017
    kingpietro likes this.

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