Very shortly about myself - 29, male, had porn addiction since I was 14. Screwed up by gay porn. HOCD. Fell in love big time with a girl when I was 17, was too anxious/shy to initiate sex so it never happened. Another attempt to have sex at 22 was a fail - I was very very drunk and couldn't get it up and it left me very embarrassed. Then fell deeply into porn addiction and HOCD. As a result, I am still a virgin. I've been off porn and masturbation for 70 days. This has proven to be a life-changing experience. I see myself differently now - I am more confident and aware of who I am as a guy. I am regaining my attraction to real women. But there is an overwhelming amount of guilt, anxiety and shame I am experiencing which last week lead to the first signs of depression (it has improved now). A lot of it is extreme overthinking, I know, but for my mental health, I feel like I need to put my concerns out there. I dream so badly of falling in love with a woman and being in a relationship with her. Could you guys, especially those who had similar experiences and managed to overcome them, give me some tips on the following points: 1. Shame of being a virgin at 29. The thing is, aside from the addiction, I am a pretty successful guy. In my 20s I managed to get 2 uni degrees, travel, live independently and establish myself with a good well-paid career all by myself. But the idea that while other guys had plenty of sex and relationship fun in their twenties makes me feel like a looser and like I've missed out on so many things... 2. Shame of being a porn addict. I loath myself. I wish I could be informed about porn addiction when I was a teenager... 3. When the time will come, should I tell her I've never had sex? Or does it even matter? 4. How do you deal with performance anxiety? What if I fail to get it up again? 5. This is a lot of overthinking perhaps... but I am a very affectionate person. What if I fall in love with a girl who I have my first sex with, we develop a long-term relationship and I want to marry her? Should I worry about the fact that she is the only sexual partner I've ever had? When I read similar discussions online, I hear men saying things like 'you will never know what you like about sex if you don't explore it with several different partners', 'you will have problems staying faithful later on' etc... If there are any men who lost their virginity later in life as well as those who've had only one sexual partner, I would be very interested to hear your stories/advice. Thank you very much in advance for your answers.