Sexual Transmutation and the Creative Process

I think I'm figuring out sexual transmutation more (assuming it's a real thing and not just a placebo). One of the benefits, I think, of NoFap, is understanding yourself more - the deeper and stronger parts of ourselves. I don't want to make declarative statements because I haven't arrived yet, but I felt this way before on shorter streaks too.

Our sexuality is a part of us. Something strong. It goes down deep into the archetypes of human life. For the longest time, my sexuality was something shameful that I rubbed out and discarded and didn't understand at all. I hid from it. I wanted to give into the demands of my sexuality so I didn't have to think about it. But when I face my sexuality, I feel like I'm facing a part of myself, not something antagonistic to me (which is how the sex drive can feel if the person is dominated by it, and that's how I felt for the longest time; like a bio-puppet to my sex drive), but the sexual part of self is almost primeval. And by not giving into it, that part gains respect for me. It says "alright, so you're not a candyass bitch; I think I want to join your crew. What sorts of adventures are we going on? How can I - in other words - be in your service?"

If that makes sense at all. And if I can create from that place (I write), and bring that part of myself along with me, it's a stronger place, and it's stronger writing. Not that my work is about sexuality - although I've definitely gone there - but when I write from that place, I use the energy that urges humans to sustain life and propagate life. I write from the basement of soul and not just the front step. Creating art falls into the same category as creating life.

This probably sounds like mystical shit, but has anyone else had a similar experience? Or tips about converting sexual energy into something productive? I feel like I'm just starting to learn

 

Thanks! I'll have to look into that. Or at least the chapter about that. I'm sure I'll be able to find something about it online

 

Right. I think another way of putting that (and kind of summing up what I said earlier), its finding strength from an undivided life. Before, our will is wrestling with our base urges to procreate. But if the two can work together, that's maybe where real energy comes from. The two sides of self learn to respect each other. The sexual drive becomes not something shameful or a nuisance but an ally. But now I'm kind of repeating myself.

I think it was doing all those things: running, workout, hobbies, that has helped me begin this realization.

 

Good stuff. Yeah, that's what excites me about continuing this NoFap journey. I want to live more and do more. But if I can discover myself more? That's priceless. When I spent all that time masturbating, I didn't realize what I was wasting.