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Sexual neediness after heartache

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by MrsSupportive, Apr 13, 2018.

  1. MrsSupportive

    MrsSupportive Fapstronaut

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    Ok...so my PA husband dropped some pretty big bombshells on me last night and my emotions are going wild. When he hurts me emotionally, i tend to get clingy and sexually needy. Im not completely sure why BUT i believe it has a lot to do with the fact i blame myself for his P use. I find myself trying to improve in bed hoping his addiction will go away. I feel like shit everytime i do this. I feel like my worth lowers.. and become nothing more than a whore. Maybe im just beating myself up but those are honest feelings..i feel pathetic for having these sexually needy feelings. Am i alone in this? Is there anyone one out there who can relate? A little? A lot?
     
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  2. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    It's called trauma arousal... Your hysterical bonding.
    It's normal reaction from the betrayal trauma.
    I'd look nto it.
     
  3. Reverent

    Reverent Fapstronaut

    As @Kenzi said you are not alone in this behavior, it is a real thing.

    I would like to add, from my side of things as a PA, when you give in to these over the top urges to be more freaky or available or whathaveyou, you may be indirectly rewarding him for his misbehavior. After DDay I was like "jackpot". But I soon painfully learned that behavior wasn't coming from a healthy place of my SO. It took many months of sobriety to admit and create a genuine place of safety for her.

    Also I want to say I am so sorry you are dealing with PA and betrayal. You are good person, NO YOU NEVER HAVE TO COMPETE WITH PORNO. You are worth more than that. Take Care.
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2018
  4. Yep. Because I'm faithful and put relationship love and sex into the same category.

    Is he on this site? Is he getting help?

    This is nothing to do with you by the way X
     

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