Sexual abuse and pmo addiction.

Hey! Someone with a deep connection! My name is Zach. I don't want this to feel impersonal, since we're talking about sexual abuse. I have so much to say.

I was raped and molested as a child, by two different, unacquainted men. The incidents occurred when I was 5 and 6. One was with the father of a babysitter, and one was at a grungy YMCA. To be totally honest, those incidents kept me from even seeking sexual relationships. Growing up I never really made any attempt to be someone's bf because I felt outside the realm of normal sexual activity. The first time I was kissed (I was 16), I couldn't get thoughts and replays of the rape out of my head. For 3 more years I would think about what happened to me whenever I was around an attractive girl.

I wondered if I would have bad performance. Then I would become a nervous wreck, and have to explain, and throw a pity party for myself and blah blah...but I definitely used porn to escape because those images on my computer screen don't have to know me and the pain I've been through. I can definitely relate to you.

 

joeshmo209,

"abuse made things worse" Agree.
I had some sort of similar exp. Since childhood sexual abuse,has first introduction of sex(with our brain limited/no understanding of this topic), it last a very strong impact on our mind.My personal experience was worst(after being abused by neighbor,i kept this memory always, as i grow up my fantasies were revolving around this incident and this has an impact on my whole sexual life.)

My advice is dont even think of any sexual abuse incident, destroy all of the memories related to it, and
build the new memories of good things in your life.

 

It can be a factor, for sure. Control and regaining some illusion of it can draw you to PMO. I read a great book on this topic called The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender.

I do believe there is some sort of a relationship between being an abuse victim and your sexual struggles.

 

Wow! Some very powerful posts here. You guys have survived something awful, imo, and should be proud you are here talking about it. Male sexual abuse is just as taboo in society to talk about as porn addictions or masturbating. And that is why we are here using aliases and being vague about where we live.
Bad sex experiences such as abuse and rape most definitely feed into bad sexual practices as you grow up, such as porn and PMO. Your ages are not obvious, and really do not matter, because you have lived with these experiences for a very long time, regardless if you are now 14 or 44.
I would encourage you to seek healing, deep healing, regarding the abuse or rape. You are here for growth and healing from P and M. Also seek growth and healing for your abuse and rape. There must be other sites for male sexual abuse healing, but I do not know what they are. I would suggest you will need to heal from the abuse and rape before you can fully heal from your PMO. If you take PMO first, you will most likely find another avenue to crush and bury the pain of your abuse and rape.
Personally, I do not ever remember being abused sexually, but I have often suspected I was at some time.
Best of success in your healing.